Friday, December 30, 2022

藏人

来纳帕葡萄酒之城泡天然的温泉,在酒店游泳池看到一家藏人,爸爸妈妈和一个八九岁的女儿。妈妈不停地对着爸爸讲话,我仔细一听,没几句就听出来了,他们是藏人。可能和自己看过比较多纪录片以及平时有关注藏人权益,打心底喜欢藏传佛教有关;另外以前住伯克利的时候也浅交过几个藏人的妈咪朋友;加上我会印地语,也经常听尼泊尔挚友讲家乡话,对喜马拉雅那带的语言体系算是比较熟悉。印度老公觉得他们可能是东南亚的,马来西亚菲律宾之类。我一口咬定,不,他们是藏人,说的是藏语。

儿子女儿一下就和另外那个女孩玩起来了,在游泳池里一起玩耍,叽哩呱啦说着加州口音的英语。不论爸妈来自哪里,三个孩子的第一身份自然都是美国人。在美国,每个人都可以保持自己原生或其父母祖辈原生的文化与身份,他们的与众不同正是其人生的无价瑰宝。来自世界各洋各洲却融洽共处,法律保护个体的权利以及人与人之间的平等。也许当时当下我们所处的这个共同空间,就是我们之间最大的关联。

而藏人,作为中国汉人的我自然与他们也是千丝万缕纠缠瓜葛在一起的。但我想,联系我们的不是华汉疆土的进退推演,不是华夏文明的悠长历史,更不是现任政权的野蛮霸道。藏人,有自己悠久的历史文化,被殖民前曾有独立的政体,并且有其独立的、被称之为世界之精神圣殿的信仰体系。也许冥冥之中联系着我们的,是这段侵略凌辱的孽缘。我作为侵略国的成员,能够看见他们,看见他们的历史,同理他们的处境,就是我与他们之间的纠缠瓜葛。

白纸革命之前我从未敢去想象一个未来的中国,民主的、自由的中国。但自从敢于去“看见维吾尔人”,敢于去“正视藏人”之后,偶尔会思绪飘远开去。也许是我们的下一代吧,他们坐在一起,平等对话,制定宪法。他们对话各族,商讨国家存在的形式。也许是“联邦中国”吧,各州各族自治,设定本州本族自己的宪法,藏人维吾尔人蒙古人香港人,等等等等,获得最大程度自治。又或许是其它形式的存在,只要能让老百姓好好生活自由信仰就可以。

但我知道,我们这代应该是赶不上这个讨论了,每代人都自有每代人的责任。刘晓波那代青年让我们知道了中国青年的傲骨,之后的那几十年父母辈们含辛茹苦实现了物质上的积累,给了我们机会看看外面的世界。那么轮到我们这代人履行责任的时候,大胆勇敢地不停往前推进就是我们可以用几十年来做的事情。相信终有一天,时机会成熟,努力没有白费,我们的下一代,下下一代,会等来坐在谈判桌上协力起草属于这片土地上所有人民的宪法的一天。

“你和你的孩子说的是什么语言?” “我们说的是普通话。你呢?除了英文你还会什么语言?” “哦,我也是在中国里面的,但是我不会说普通话。” “藏语,你说的是藏语,我知道。藏语很美,好好学,能会藏文更棒。” 女孩和我对话起来。

三个孩子上周都去看了“阿凡达-水之道”,大声聊起了里面的故事。“你们知道‘阿凡达’是梵文/印地语吧?这个单词是从印度来的。” 我介绍说。“是吗?” 女孩回答,“我是在印度出生的。” “哦!你是在印度出生的!”

再后来在热的温泉池子里,我、女孩的父亲、还有一位刚来的印度年青人,我们三个大聊特聊了起来,绿卡、签证、各国移民政策、各地旅游推荐等等。女孩的父亲在来美国之前在印度东北部的省生活了二十二年,2019年来的美国。“那你们现在还经常回印度吗?”我问。“会的,还有一些亲人在印度。其实我的很多家人在中国。” “真的吗?你的家人还在中国?那你是怎么出来的?” “我十四岁的时候告别了父母,1997年,和一群藏人在高山里走了一个月时间的路,从西藏边境偷偷到印度来的。到印度之后一直拿的是庇护身份,后来遇到妻子,她家人都已经在美国了,所以有了女儿之后我们三个就一起来了美国,还有几年我也会换到美国护照。二十二年我走遍了印度东西南北各地! 印度真是个美好的地方,每个地方都有不同的人种、不同的文化、不同的语言和不同的宗教!我真的走遍了印度的每个角落,印度真的很自由,每个人都保存了属于自己的文化!” “是这样的,我也认为印度的民族与宗教多样性是世界独一无二的,我也常常为之感到骄傲!”我补充。那位来自德里的印度年青小伙在一边听得直感叹。

原来我和今天碰到的藏人的关联,不止是中国,不止是美国,更是印度。国与国之边境,政府之间的敌我,关不住人对自由向往的天性,也关不住人与人之间的温情与交融。

愿天下苍生皆获自由,愿地上人间温暖常驻。🙏

Sunday, December 25, 2022

2022.12.25

It's not the length but how we spent the time here. Never really pictured a tedious lengthy life, now I have the two of them, just want to make sure they can grow up to be strong enough, strong enough to deal with life themselves. I refuse to let one day go by without making my mark here, because I've never intended to stay here for that long. It's always been the reason. My mark? None of us will ultimately be heavier than a dust, will we? No matter how much you think of yourself. I'm ready to go, since long time ago. I just can't let people around me suffer, so I'll go when they could be ready one day, or not. Who's ever ready for life? Not much here to linger, isn't it? Not much. I will go in the lightness of a breeze, just like how I came, in the lightness of a breeze. 

Thursday, December 22, 2022

YT post

This is for my English readers: I know, I haven't been updating English content regularly, now suddenly 2 weeks of holidays are here and I'm still working like crazy on processing Chinese content. I received a large amount of information in my Wechat account in Jan 2020 but I was scared and my mind was still in the CCP cage, locked up. Never dared to share all that crucial information about the outbreak of COVID in Wuhan, at the right beginning so to sound alarm to the world, to buy some time. Have never really found peace in myself because of that. 

So after A4 Revolution, that line was crossed, that line they use intimidation and red horror to keep us in, we crossed it. We are rid of fear now. Therefore this time, I'm doing this for documenting history, documenting my time, I'm doing this as well as for myself. I'm posting all the anti-CCP, anti-XJP, anti-authoritarian and anti-tyranny content with pride, dignity and peace in my heart. 

It's ultimately my duty as a Chinese. And in such darkness, the only way for me to not fall into my own dark and sad abyss is to fight back, bite back, kick back, do something, anything, every day, every minute. 


I never really like all that gift and party stuff, like a normal girl. Never held a birthday party for my kids so now they are also not invited to others' parties. I felt good that I hurt my knee at this time so that became my legit excuse to be away from all that. Just quickly send over digital gift cards to teachers and coaches because they worked so hard, they deserve it. I will never be your ideal gf, fiancé, wife, will I? But kids in school did miss me and they (with help of teachers and family) prepared me a lot of gifts... I just can't wait to go back after new year and read and sing songs to them. Make them happy and help them grow. 

So ya, if you ask me what I'm up to during the winter holidays, nothing much at all, just browse the net, filter information, and post them. We were supposed to be in India this week though, couldn't get my entry Visa. And this is after 14 years married to an Indian citizen and 8 times being there. Systems are always oppressing, systems that leave people chances to consolidate power from it, any sort of power.

Will give you English readers (not many I assume) an update once a while like this, moving forward. Sometimes video too, of course. Ya, I'm here, I'm still here, not going anywhere. I'm just here fighting back, biting back, kicking back, in my own adorable ways. Lol.

Ciao, see you next year! Stay safe and healthy!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2022

2022-12-17

I think on the phone I said they should come to my place like last week, then when I sent the messages asking if we could come over instead, it doesn't sound good huh? I would never think that much though. It would never be because when they helped me last weekend "there was something wrong they did". I have been feeling so happy and grateful for all that Sabrina did for me, I told everyone about it! And we truly survived on the food they all made for us.

I guess "don't want the house to be messy before Raj comes so he doesn't get agitated" doesn't sound so common huh? Maybe it's something only in my mind, it doesn't resonate with other people at all, no? 

"No no, of course not because of what you did! I would never think that way!!! I'm just worried that kids' toys everywhere, books scattered around, beddings not changed, piles of clothes not folded, kids' closets messy, these would make Raj agitated! And I wouldn't ask you to arrange kids' closets for me right? That's too much, you already did so much for me! I think I'm just nervous about Raj coming back home because guess what, the kids and I lived very freely for the past week. We went to Safeway many times to drive that wheelchair electric cart, we slept together in the same bed for all the nights, some days Aditi went to school without tying her hair. I changed Aditi's bedsheets today morning, very slowly but I managed. Will change my own bedsheets tomorrow so Raj won't be agitated. And most probably the three of us will go get a haircut tomorrow so our hair doesn't look so messy. I just want to be mind-free about arranging and cleaning my own house because only a little I can do. That's why we just want to go mess up your house!"

Obviously Sabrina eventually understood what I meant, and of course "it's not right for Raj to be agitated" is a very good thing to say to a girlfriend. The thing is, I don't even know if Raj would be agitated, I'm just scared that he would. So concerned that I rather not having people over so not to give him chance to be mad at me.

Why? Was he mad at me a lot? I don't know, maybe, I don't keep track on such things, but looks like I'm really concerned... Maybe he wasn't mad at me, I don't think he is ever angry with me, it's just that he always has something to say, do this do that, why not do this why not do that. And when work stress comes, sometimes it sounds angry, not to me obviously, to the situation and stress in general. And he knows I wouldn't mind and can take whatever. What he wants me to be, I can be. Whenever he wants it, I'm there. I guess my support always was very crucial to his mental health and right perspective, deep down he is dependent on that.

But am I truly affected by the stress he passes to me? I would say, hmm, hardly. I might be unconsciously trying to maintain a space that he feels comfortable with, as part of my duty of being in a relationship, but my freedom and space of growth is well respected and protected. I think at the end of the day, that's all I care about. As long as I am free from the financial pressure and get to do whatever the heck I want for whatever reason, I'm all good.

Anyways, I always have way bigger issues to worry about, daily life things don't bother me that much. And I'm happy about this state of mind, so mature, lol!!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

I know

Do you know that with each post published, I am saying Goodbye to my life in China, saying Goodbye to the people who are my relatives and friends; I'm saying Goodbye to the chance of being welcomed by my family and old friends, walking in the streets of the beautiful cities, my cities.

33 years ago thousands of Chinese youth did exactly the same, some of them even said Goodbye to their precious lives. 

But I won't choose otherwise, just like the thousands, maybe tens of thousands of us today. Because I simply cannot bear to see more despair, helplessness and all that cruelty. 

I have to do something, at least I have to speak up, I have to show to them: "See, don't be afraid, I'm not afraid. See, I am here, I'm supporting you in my way. I can see you, I am seeing you, I am with you." Like the many of brave ones who showed us their courage. 

Of course I want to go back, of course I miss my family. Of course I worry about my parents. Worry about if they would get into trouble, if they would have a peaceful old age without disturbance. At least I have no siblings, no niece or nephew who could be held hostage. 

But it's my duty, my duty as a human being with dignity, my duty as a privileged child born in a privileged time, my duty as a mother to all the innocent children who didn't want to be born into cages, my duty as a woman who deserve to be treated with respect and decency. 

One should never escape one's duty. And I realized, my life is made for this, for fulfilling my duty. I don't believe I should ever only live for myself. My life has always been for the others, as a daughter, as a wife, as a mother, as a friend. I will keep on burning myself to give out that little bit of light and warmth, this is the proof and meaning of my existence. 

Yes, once I have been here too, I have cried my nights out, I have walked side by side with you, I have kept my fire on and I have held my head high. 

Saturday, December 10, 2022

2022-12-10

Finally get a little time to write up something. What a dream, the last 2 weeks, I wish I would never wake up from it. Maybe I never need to, the world changed drastically for Chinese like me, and I will never get back. I will never go back, go back to being fearful, being cautious, being sad and angry. I will keep on fighting, no matter what. Not for myself, but for all the people who are suffering. If I don't fight, then who would help them? I have to fight, I won't give myself choices. 

Hurt my knee while skiing, Raj is right now in India traveling. Was thinking how to drop off and pick up the kids to and from school, realized that even though there were so many really close and trustworthy friends, people live fairly far away from each other. The most we arranged Sunny to drop them off every morning, Sunny doesn't pick up his own daughter right after school, so I planned to take Uber to pick mine up. But then on Friday before Raj went to India, I tried out driving Tesla myself, it worked, my knee was absolutely fine. 

Leena and Noah are here for two days to cook, clean and take care of the kids for me. Sabrina and Devi will be here tomorrow, bring food for the week and us three girls will chill and drink wine, husbands will clean and watch the kids. I really can't feel more lucky to have all these kind and beautiful women in my life, Leena, Sabrina, Devi... Lol both Sabrina and Devi got hooked up, happily, by us, in our apartment, on our second-hand couch, when we were still wild 20 something. After all these years, none of us changed, always this wild, extremely wild, crazy, truly crazy, meanwhile kind, really kind, generous, genuinely generous, plus hard working and capable. Lol both Sabrina and Devi are PhDs, but I will say, ya, ya, but I work with my professor my whole life! Oh I feel so connected to each one of them... Been thinking about Yanyi a lot, can't wait for her to come back here. Raj and Panda's startup is going really good, they're gonna spend a whole week in India. Maybe it's fated this way because how connected Yanyi and I are! Chantelle and I are connected too, I love her deeply, but ya, it is what it is, I will surely continue to be in her life as a great friend to love and support her. Man I really love all of them so much, maybe I was LGBTQ last life. 

A lot people got concerned about my injury. I'm so sorry to put up everything in social media, what can I do, it's just me. I was posting it for fun, nothing else. Then messages came, some were formally greeting, some were... hey, I know, but it was really long time ago when we secretly had a crush on each other, I thought both of us moved on? I guess sometimes we just have to co-exist under the current circumstance. Definitely not only me, but many more people than I could imagine have to continue life with suppressing part of them, deep down. Luckily once I see a happy wife and a beautiful baby, whatever was there that made my heart jump, disappears in a split second, nothing as such would linger. Guess my empathy, love and responsibility to women and children overpowers everything. I should maintain my style of dealing with things I assume, always throw myself out there, never hold back, never hide, never pretend, after trying my best, accepts whatever it comes and, and cast it all away. Move on, never linger, move on, never linger. 

Just that I've been feeling guilty I didn't take T with me to the new Wechat account when I knew I would be blocked. We were in good terms, friends who can talk. Now I don't know how to find him. If he knew Raj was so careless with me, he would beat him up good lol, at least take me out for ice cream... Maybe one day he will find me. Maybe one day China will be free and we will have no wall between us any more. Everything is possible now, I am hopeful. And I know I can never go back there anymore as long as CCP stays in power. But I will go back, within my lifetime, to a free China, a brand-new China.

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Ready for the Fight

What a dream! What happened in China for the past week, I've never imagined could happen within my lifetime. 

Because of my prior personal experience as a "Cultural Revolution 2.0" victim, massive online bullying & violence over 13+ years, today I'm 1000% ready when the real wave finally hit the shore. I have absolutely zero fear left in any part of my body, ZERO. 

My personal platforms are built over the years, therefore overnight, I find myself using skills in collecting and verifying information, making multimedia content, plus being authentic and outspoken, to Amplify the voices of the brave Chinese who finally decided to step up, facing off the ruthless authoritarian regime. 

I'm holding up my A4 paper, as high as possible, in my way. 

Two things we've realized after the past week: 

1. As long as we rid of the fear and become brave, you'll see they are not even 0.1% as strong and brave as us, complete cowards, shameful idiots; 

2. I'm never alone, we're never alone. There are so many of us thinking about the exact same thing for years, some of us dared to speak up, and some of us didn't. But when I look back, all those lonely moments when I thought I was "too stupid to not pretend", "too naive to speak out whatever was in my mind", I was a fucking hero. 

Guess what, I have never really faced any concrete life threat but there are so many Chinese inside China, they have disappeared, killed, locked up in prison and tortured, still, they stepped out and told the truth. They are the true heroes, they gave us all courage. If people like me who are comfortably hiding in democratic countries still won't step out and fight for other people's rights, I have no more words for such cowardice and selfishness. 

So ya, I'm blown away by what's happening and filled with hope for seeing a China that could be free one day. But I'm not forgetting my promise of posting bikini photos! Here are some photos we took right before the A4 Revolution in China. 

Also, I'm showing you what I've been doing and will be doing on my YouTube: sharing words I think it's important for Chinese to see and hope they pass over to more Chinese who need courage and affirmation.

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Cassie & Nina

Forgot how I was completely blown away by this movie. Among all of my favorites, this one stands out, well, like all of my favorites. 

Watched again with S, and I could anytime watch it again 10x with any of my girls. First time only to be taken by how the story would go, being poured by that heavy rain all of a sudden. Then a second time, you can see how the filthy ugliness of society and human kind unfolds vividly in front of your face.   


After Nina, there was no sanity left anymore, isn't it? We all have our own Nina inside of us, isn't it? 

Or let me say this, we all have our own Cassie inside of us, isn't it? 

Uh, is it just me then?


They shot you down, twist your wings, unplugged your feathers, you returned back into life out of pure luck and stubbornness, even started growing feathers again. 

Does anyone, except myself, get to judge my own way of my regained ability to fly? 

Who do they think they are? 

Who the fuck do they think they are?


I do not long for being heard, I do not wish to be seen. 

I only live for my liberty and freedom. 

And my liberty and freedom, doesn't fall from sky like the others. 

Not all are that lucky, some of us are born "ugly". 

Some of us are born chained and caged, even though flying is all they could think and dream of.

Thursday, November 17, 2022

Version 10.0?

Work makes me feel so happy. I think two things pulled me out of the dark cloud of China falling into the abyss: 1. Hindu festivals and friends' gatherings; 2. Work. Actually my family too, Leena is with me being part of the resistance and we are partners for wild dancing and other wild things. Oh, that too, the dashing of unrealized daydream for a red wave, because of women's rights. Red wave against women's rights, how sarcastic. I think the result put me into a few days' ecstasy. Felt relieved, felt blissful, regained some hope, restored some confidence.

Showed my team how Leena and I look when we go silent protest in the Free Speech Square in UC Berkeley; told them never to come close and talk to us if they bump into us. Received heartfelt appreciations to Leena from them, who are all freedom fighters for China, for democracy and for free speech for years and for decades. 

Now you think, most of us young ones have been in this for more than a decade now. That's why once I decided to come back this summer, same pure-hearted people, same smiles, we right away picked up the jokes we left almost a decade ago. They are the people I could trust my live with, literally. They know they could trust their lives with me too. So different from some of Raj's business partners, lol. What can I say, when you are in it together for money making, it's a complete alienated universe compared to when you are in it together for fighting for others' rights and freedom. 

With newly developed work progress, I think I am upgrading again, into Momo version 10.0. Obviously I am extremely smart, intelligent, well-informed, hard-working plus social, helpful and trustworthy all that leadership skills, who doesn't want to have me in their team? Was I like this before? I think 10 years back I was definitely not this assertive. Much more shy and introverted, self-doubt would play out once a while. Now my mind is as hard as steel, as I blink, I brush aside any possibility of generating thoughts that could contain self-doubt; I affirm myself through calm and in-depth analysis and dissection, in pure objective manner. 

I have truly become the comedian of our group. So many things to share with them, some stories I have told uncountable times so when again I am vividly describing, it's immense fun to watch. Never felt comfortable to be the center of attention, always tried to avoid it, but now I found my sweet spot of being the louder one who can make the whole table laugh. If this is not upgrade, then what is?

Over the years, I have earned my place, my own place within myself. 

Now I feel it, the social roles you are in determine the level of respect you will get. As a housewife or mother, the level of respect your husband's family and friends are able to provide is ultimately limited. Get that, I have no original family or friends here, every relationship, I earned. Fortunately I have been in serious business before, not only respectful, also earned a lot to help his family getting out of huge debt. Therefore my husband learnt to respect me, in the level which satisfied me. But a 8-year pause is about the right amount of time to exhaust that respect. Not saying it's running thin, at all, but it's really good that I got back. Got back to my own circle, to the people I build partnership with, to the experience that I earn my respect through hard work. And this level of satisfaction can never be replaced by the pride of a mother or the indulgence to a wife from a husband or a lover. Because I am a complete independent entity here, my valid existence does not pertain to someone else, most likely someone who shines in the spotlight and you only belong behind the curtains.    

Something to be sure, this upgrade makes me even more open, more brave, more straight-forward, and more confident and assertive. At this point of my life, I can't stop feeling how lucky I am, was, actually. The most important people I made into my life, more than a decade ago, all turned out to be the most open and kind. My husband, my prof, my close teammates, they are all like skies that can stretch to endless, like oceans that disappear into the horizon, for me. The skies and oceans for me to fly and sail. No matter what forms I change into, no matter what degree of emotions I want to explore, they standby, quietly observe, support and love me in their own way. 

So version 10.0 it is then. Something worth celebration.

Monday, November 7, 2022

中印恋人-辛格莫默:继续用中文讲印度的故事

大家好,我是“中印恋人-辛格莫默”。2009-2021年曾在新浪博客、微博、微信等国内平台以“嫁印度的中国女孩”身份介绍印度人文历史等种种。2021年被全网封杀,并遭受剧烈网暴(我称此经历为“WG2.0”)。如今已走出恐怖阴霾,重新定义自我,并500%满血,愿与中文圈朋友继续探讨印度之奥秘。 

印度在中文圈里一直非常冷门。无论是对印度这个国家,还是对印度人或者印度裔,大多华人都有一种骨子里的说不清一二的鄙夷不屑。因为印度国穷?因为印度人黑皮肤?因为长期受负面印度新闻的轰炸? 

能够生成客观的评价,最核心的前提是对事实或真理的认知。可惜以我十几年在网络上作为“印度窗口”的经历,我认为在中文圈可汲取的与印度相关的事实或真理少之又少,相对客观的分析与评论更是寥寥无几。

我理解为什么民间倾向于把目光聚焦于经济发达的欧美,也理解为什么知识圈倾向于探寻以欧洲文化为中心的社会进程的推演。

但是 -- 

1. 印度半岛各处富饶、历史悠久、多民族多文化,自古就是七大洲五大洋各族外来人口的移民终点站,被称为“世界人种博物馆”,“世界人种大杂烩”;

2. “印度教”是全世界范围内尚存至今的最古老的宗教。与其说是“宗教”,不如说是一种精神层面的思考与存在方式,一种生活方式。在这种生活方式下,鼓励个人寻求其独立的对精神世界的追求;

3. 正是因为“印度教”只是一种生活方式,而不是一个特定的固化的信仰体系,所以在印度半岛,追求精神升华的独立个体自古就被赋予了极大的自由。印度人想信什么就信什么,想怎么信就怎么信。每个人的冥想和瑜珈是他/她在自我世界里的舞蹈,与他/她自己想象的神灵对话。几千年下来印度民间创造了无数的女神、男神、动物神和圣贤人,你把一块石头、一颗树当成自己一生最大的信仰也无妨。多民族多人种多信仰,纷繁交错、共存共生,所以印度文化的至深精髓是多样性与包容性,可谓是全球难得的精神自由之圣土;

4. 中印同是东方文化古国,可比性强。中印自古交流甚多,中国受印度文化极大影响,佛教源自印度等等。

华人应该去了解印度吗?当然应该!了解印度,有助于了解华人自身的历史,上下沉浮几千年,多多少少有一大部分和印度缠绕着;了解印度文化DNA里的多样性和包容性,有助于反观自身文化里的多样性和包容性,无论是去探究中华大地原生文化的多样性,还是去研习后来受到印度文化影响的进程前后;从根子里了解自身文化的多样性有助于不迷失在各式以欧洲文化为中心的社会推演论里,并能够想像出适合东方文明尤其是中华文明的社会推演蓝图。

所以我决定回来,继续用中文写作,分享自己的学习和思考。人生本就是一个神秘的探索之旅,遇见印度是命运使然,但对真理真知的追求,对陌生世界的探求,需要勇气与不灭的热情。共勉。

分享几张今年家里庆祝杜迦女神节、财富女神节以及排灯节时的照片

在自己家里向财富女神 Lakshmi 祈福,这是排灯节那天的习俗

东南西北印度人庆祝的节日纷繁复杂、不尽相同,排灯节可谓是大部分印度家庭都有庆祝的“印度之节”。这是我们家里周末举办的排灯节聚会

周末排灯节聚会上,大家一起向财富女神 Lakshmi 祈福

周末排灯节聚会上女人们的合影。其中几位是嫁给印度男人的外国女人

杜迦女神节是孟加拉文化下最重要的节日,十几天时间向代表着权力和力量的杜迦女神祈福。我的印度老公虽不是孟加拉人,但家里有孟加拉文化,比如奶奶是孟加拉人,姑妈、表哥是孟加拉人,所以我印度婆家最重要的节日也是杜迦女神节。这是我们与孟加拉好友一家一起参加湾区的庆祝活动

孩子们的背后是杜迦女神庆祝活动上的杜迦女神以及其他几位女神和象神的神像

这是和小妹妹小妹夫一起参加的另外一个杜迦女神节的庆典活动,背后是杜迦女神以及其他女神和象神的神像

这是另外一个杜迦女神节庆典时期我们参加的舞会,由古吉拉特人举办,遵循的是古吉拉特人庆祝杜迦女神节的传统 - 跳嘎巴舞

孩子们参加古吉拉特邦特色嘎巴舞会的样子

【以 IPFS 形式发布于 Matters 平台  中印恋人-辛格莫默:继续用中文讲印度的故事  
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Thursday, November 3, 2022

The Iron Curtain Has Fallen - China 2022 October

1. The return of the Iron Curtain 

Recently, I often receive phone calls from some old friends in China who have not been in contact with me for many years, telling me that he has finally recovered, and I deeply sighed and sighed. This is a typical scene during this special period. After the 20th National Congress of the Communist Party of China, the situation in the country drastically deteriorated. At present, China has become an insane madhouse for the Xi family, isolated and unreasonable. In particular, at the conference, Xi Jinping forcibly took away his predecessor and mentor Hu Jintao in full view of the public. Afterward, he led all Xi's cronies to appear in China in full satisfaction, and all kinds of scandals made the world stunned. In our homeland, turbulent currents are rampant now, barbarism is in power, everything went silent, and there are many prisons erected because of the Zero COVID policy. 

In view of this, people can't help but think of Germany in 1933, Central and Eastern Europe in 1946, China in 1949, 1962 and 1989, East and West Berlin after the Berlin Wall was erected in 1961, and Hong Kong in 2020, after the National Security Law. 

The former British Prime Minister Churchill delivered a speech entitled "Pillar of Peace" at Westminster College in the United States on March 5, 1946, which resounded in Chinese ears: "From Szczecin in the Baltic Sea to Adriatic Trieste, on the Asian Sea, an Iron Curtain across Europe has fallen." 

 1) Germany: 1933 

Familiar scenes flashed across the screen of history: On January 30, 1933, Hitler officially took office as Chancellor of Germany, and Germany entered the Nazi era. On the same day, Einstein and his wife Elsa successfully escaped from Germany and embarked on a trip to visit the United States. Einstein's escape was a major landmark event for the scientific community around the world. As we all know, Germany used to be the most scientifically developed country in the world. In 1933, the year Einstein fled, there were only five people in the United States who won the Nobel Prize in Natural Science. Thirty-one people have won the Nobel Prize, six times as many as in the United States. But after that? The appearance of geotechnical technology is no longer the same.

German philosopher Cassler was equally aware of the Nazis as Einstein. In the spring of 1933, shortly after Hitler became Chancellor of Germany, Cassiller said: "I suppose this regime will last ten years, but the evil it inspires may last a hundred and fifty years." On May 2, 1933, the fourth month after Hitler became Chancellor of Germany, Cassiller resigned from the position of President of the University of Hamburg and fled Germany in time. He first taught at Oxford University in England, and then went to Sweden and the United States to teach. Died in New York in 1945. 

Freud, the founder and thinker of psychoanalysis, lived in Vienna, Austria. When news of the book burning in the Third Reich reached his ears, he said, "They've come a long way! In the Middle Ages, I'd be the one they'd burn, and now they're satisfied with just burning my books." Freud believed that the Nazis would only burn books, not people. But soon, Hitler shattered his illusions. On March 11, 1938, German troops invaded Austria. Fortunately, the international community reached out to him. The U.S. embassy sent a car parked near his home, and once Floyd's life was threatened, the car would intervene and save in the name of the United States. Under international pressure, Nazi Germany agreed to Freud's departure, but he had to pay more than 30,000 marks of "reich evasion tax". On June 4, Freud and his family left Vienna by train and settled in London, England. 

Of course, a large number of German citizens and intellectuals were not as lucky as Einstein, Cassiller, and Freud. They stayed in Germany with a bleak fate, many Jews went to concentration camps, and many died, including Nobel Laureate in Chemistry Fritz. Haber et al. 

2) China: 1949, 1962, 1989 

In 1949, on the eve of the CCP's entry into mainland China, should we leave or stay? China's intellectual elites face a fate similar to that of the German intellectuals in 1933. Hu Shi, Fu Sinian, Qian Mu, Zhang Ailing, Zhang Junmai, Mou Zongsan... left the country. And most of the intellectuals—Chen Yinke, Chen Yuanchu, Anping, Luo Longji, Zhang Bojun, Fu Lei, Laoshe, Zhang Dongsun, Pan Guangdan, Wu Wenzao, Fei Xiaotong, Liang Shuming, Shen Congwen...with a little unease and fear—stayed behind. They never thought that there was blood and tears in front of them, parting life and death, madhouse! Once you slip up, it becomes an eternal regret, and when you look back, it is already a hundred years away. This is especially true for Chen Yinke, Chu Anping, Luo Longji, Zhang Bojun, Fu Lei, Lao She, Zhang Dongsun, Pan Guangdan, and Wu Wenzao. As Pan Guangdan summed up, the fate of intellectuals in communist China has four steps: surrender, give in, live, and die. 

The Chinese sages said that "a gentleman does not stand under a wall of danger". Now that the dark night in China has come again, the compatriots and friends on the other side of the ocean, what kind of wisdom will they gain from the bloody history? Is it to do everything possible to flee, over the ocean to a different continent, or bet on a fluke, repeating the mistakes of Chu Anping and Luo Longji, and trapped in death? 

1962: Thousands of hungry people in mainland China fled to Hong Kong 

1989: The fleeing after the June 4 massacre 

.......

[Translated by Google from Chinese]

Zhang Jie: Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - The Great Escape in Xi Jinping's New Era


張傑:飞跃疯人院—习近平新时代的大逃亡

 一、 铁幕再临 

最近,我常收到 一些多年未曾联系的国内老朋友从美国打来的电话,告诉我他终于润出来了,唏嘘感叹不已。这是这段特殊时期典型景象。中共二十大后,国是日非。当下,中国变成一座孤绝于世不可理喻的习家疯人院。特别是在大会场上习近平前恭后倨竟在众目睽睽之下强行架走其前任与恩师胡锦涛,之后志得意满率领清一色习氏亲信粉墨登场君临中国后,丑行种种,令全球瞠目结舌。我们的故国,现在浊流横行,野蛮当道,鸦雀无声,清零式的监狱遍地。有鉴于此,人们不由想起了1933年的德国,1946年的中欧和东欧,1949年,1962年和1989年的中国,1961年柏林墙矗立后的东西柏林,以及2020年后被国安法凌驾的香港。 

此时,英国前首相丘吉尔1946年3月5日在美国威斯敏斯特学院发表了题为“和平砥柱”的演说响彻中国人耳边:“从波罗的海的什切青到亚得里亚海边的的里雅斯特,一幅横贯欧洲大陆的铁幕已经降落下来”。 

 1)德国:1933 

似曾相识,一幕幕场景闪过历史的荧屏:

1933年1月30日,希特勒正式就任德国总理,德国进入纳粹时代。就在同一天,爱因斯坦携妻子爱尔莎一道,成功逃离德国,踏上了去美国访问的旅途。 

爱因斯坦的逃离对全世界的科学界来讲是一个重大标志性事件。大家知道,之前德国是全世界科学最发达的国家,在1933年,也就是爱因斯坦逃离的那一年,美国总共才有五个人获得过诺贝尔奖的自然科学奖,而德国这时候已经有三十一个人得过诺贝尔奖了,是美国的六倍。然而此后呢?地缘科技之貌,已不可同日而语了。 

与爱因斯坦同样对纳粹有清醒认识的人还有德国的哲学家卡西勒。1933年春天,希特勒当上德国总理不久,卡西勒说:“我猜想这个政权将持续十年,但是它激起的邪恶可能持续一百五十年。” 

1933年5月2日,希特勒当上德国总理后的第四个月,卡西勒辞去汉堡大学校长职务,及时逃离了德国,他先是在英国牛津大学讲学,后又去了瑞典和美国授课,1945年在纽约逝世。 

2)中国:1949, 1962, 1989 

1949年,中共入主中国大陆前夕,走还是留?中国的知识精英面临与1933年德国知识人相似的命运抉择。 

胡适 傅斯年 钱穆 张爱玲 张君劢 牟宗三……离开了这个国家。 

而多数知识人——陈寅恪 陈垣 储安平 罗隆基 章伯钧 傅雷 老舍 张东荪 潘光旦 吴文藻 费孝通 梁漱溟 沈从文……带着略微不安和惶恐——留下来了, 他们何曾想到,前面竟是是血泪交织,生离死别的疯人院!一失足成千古恨,再回头已是百年身。特别是对陈寅恪 储安平 罗隆基 章伯钧 傅雷 老舍 张东荪 潘光旦 吴文藻而言,更是如此。诚如潘光旦所总结的,知识人命运在共产中国有四步曲: 投降、屈服、活命、死亡。 

先贤云,君子不立危墙之下。如今,中国暗夜又一次降临,大洋对岸的同胞朋友们,不知会从血雨腥风的历史中获得何种智慧?是千方百计飞越疯人院,还是心存侥幸,重蹈储安平、罗隆基们覆辙,困于死地?

1962年: 中国大陆千千万万饥民的逃港潮,灾民饥民的大逃亡

1989年:六四大屠杀后的逃亡潮

.......

Foresight: Xi Jinping's Socialist Utopia

[translated by Google from Chinese]

Capital Market Background

The concept of domestic supply and marketing cooperatives continues to ferment. The concept stocks of supply and marketing cooperatives continued to rise. The concept stocks of A-share supply and marketing cooperatives rose for five consecutive days, an increase of 10%. The shareholders after the skyrocketing listed company are all supply and marketing cooperatives: Anhui Supply and Marketing Cooperative, Zhejiang Supply and Marketing Cooperative Association, Shandong Supply and Marketing Cooperative, and China National Supply and Marketing Cooperative.


Supply and Marketing Cooperative

The operating platform of "All-China Federation of Supply and Marketing Cooperatives" is "China Supply and Marketing Group". "China Supply and Marketing Group" was established with the approval of the State Council in January 2010, with total assets of 150 billion RMB, 11 holding companies, and 3 listed companies. In 2021, the revenue will be 96 billion RMB, ranking 83rd among China's top 500 companies and 31st among China's top 500 service companies.

On January 23, 2022, the "All-China Federation of Supply and Marketing Cooperatives" held the seventh council. The council mentioned the data in 2021: the supply and marketing system has reached a record high, and the sales in 2021 will be 62.6k billion RMB, an increase of 19% over the same period. , the products are agricultural products, daily necessities, logistics, etc. This sales is equivalent to 7% of total retail sales nationwide in 2021. The total retail sales in Beijing in 2021 is 15k billion RMB, and the sales volume of supply and marketing cooperatives is 4.2 times that.

The business of supply and marketing cooperatives across the country has been launched on a large scale, which is the basis for Xi Jinping to pursue socialism.

The Hubei Provincial Supply and Marketing Cooperative Headquarters has launched a "basic-level cooperative restoration and reconstruction project" - "basic-level cooperatives" are the supply and marketing cooperatives directly facing farmers below the county, and the supply and marketing cooperatives built directly in the villages. At present, there are 450k members of Hubei grass-roots supply and marketing cooperatives, which has increased by 5 times in 5 years.

The current supply and marketing cooperative is no longer a concept in the past. The current supply and marketing cooperative: 1. Sufficient capital and strong strength; 2. Cross-border operation and monopoly; 3. Lay the foundation for unified purchase and sales.

Supply and marketing cooperatives are one of the foundations of the planned economy. China's planning system absolutely divides the country into urban and rural areas: the cities are the state-owned economy and state-owned enterprises; the countryside is the collective economy. Among them, there are two major parts of the collective economy in rural areas, one is collectively owned by land and means of production, and the other is called production materials, living materials and agricultural products, which are purchased and sold in a unified manner. The executive department of "unified purchase and sales" is called the supply and marketing cooperative, referred to as the supply and marketing cooperative, which is responsible for the purchase, production and living materials of agricultural products in the entire rural area. That is, not only pesticides and fertilizers, but also the entire living materials for food and clothing are responsible for it. The supply and marketing cooperative is a very core and very mainstream supply channel.

After the reform and opening up in 1980, supply and marketing cooperatives lost their monopoly on distribution channels and were gradually replaced by grain merchants and canteens. In 1982, the organization reformed, the National Supply and Marketing Cooperative Association and the Ministry of Commerce merged, but the brand "National Supply and Marketing Cooperative Association" and the original team were retained.

At the end of 2012, Xi Jinping came to power, and the No. 1 Central Document in 2013 clearly stated: the important role of supporting supply and marketing cooperatives in the circulation of agricultural products. So supply and marketing cooperatives are not just starting to happen now, Xi Jinping has already started doing them. The supply and marketing cooperatives have been written into the government work report of the Central No. 1 document for many times, and have received a large and continuous investment of government funds.

The 2018 Central Document No. 1 clearly stated: comprehensively deepen the comprehensive reform of supply and marketing cooperatives, and support supply and marketing, postal services and various enterprises to extend service outlets to rural areas.

The No. 1 Central Document in 2021 clearly stated that the comprehensive reform of supply and marketing cooperatives should integrate production, supply and marketing, and credit. Not only engage in production, but also engage in supply and marketing and credit, credit is finance. Beginning in July 2021, in Northeast China, North China, East China, Central South, Northwest China, Southwest China, and various districts across the country will select Nuogan Province as a pilot project for the trinity of production, supply, marketing and credit for a period of two years.

In January 2022, the seventh council said: In 2021, the National Supply and Marketing Federation will have a development fund, 30 million RMB, to transform 60 grass-roots societies, transform 2,892 weak grass-roots societies, and rural comprehensive service societies have developed Arrived at 470k home. In 2022, it will focus on building 100 counties with strong circulation services, building 1,000 comprehensive supermarkets in townships and villages, transforming 10k comprehensive service cooperatives in rural areas, transforming 2,000 weak grass-roots cooperatives, and building 1,000 grass-roots demonstration cooperatives with sound systems.


Rural Cooperative

At the same time as the supply and marketing cooperatives, agricultural cooperatives are also recovering on a large scale, but the actual results are not so many. Together, the supply and marketing cooperatives and agricultural cooperatives, Xi Jinping's socialist transformation in the countryside has completed 70-80%.


Urban Socialist Transformation / Big Canteen

In cities, the Ministry of Housing and Urban-Rural Development and the Ministry of Civil Affairs jointly issued a notice to the provinces on October 31, 2022: Notice on Launching "Complete Community Construction Pilot Work". Every city in every province in the country is required to take three to five communities to carry out a "complete community construction pilot", starting in October 2022 for a period of two years. What is a "complete community"? That is, community comprehensive service facilities, providing one-stop services for local residents. Services include: kindergarten, elderly service, convenience store, vegetable market, canteen, mail, barber shop, laundry, pharmacy, maintenance shop, housekeeping service, etc., a very complete community service. Then coordinate several "complete communities" to build a block, which is equipped with primary and secondary schools, nursing homes, and community hospitals, and provides public services within the scope of a 15-minute living circle.

After the entire community service is completed, a complete internal cycle can be realized. As soon as the gate of the community is closed, the Chinese return to the previous "unit" system. In the past, units were divided according to workplaces, but now they are divided according to living quarters. China's market-oriented reform is to eliminate the social services of units, because each unit provides social services by itself, which is costly, inefficient and costly. Now use the complete community as a package to restore social services to the previous model: before, the work unit provided social services by itself, and now the government provides social services in a unified manner. This is the return of the planned economic system that matches the supply and marketing cooperatives.

But the current so-called reversion is not a simple repetition, because the government now holds the wealth accumulated by the Chinese people in the past 40 years, plus digital totalitarian tools, plus the resources of the modern enterprise management system and the modern capital market , so the CCP is more confident in socialism than it was forty years ago.

This is why Xi Jinping is engaged in socialism, because the economic conditions were not enough 40 years ago, but now he has whatever he wants and there are abundant resources. But he forgot one of the most fundamental economic laws: the essence of society is to eliminate the generation mechanism of wealth. Socialism does not generate wealth. In the end, it can only be deceitful and cannot last. After the wealth on hand is exhausted, it will start to starve.

Hebei requires cities to build at least 50 "nutritious and healthy restaurants" this year, state-run "nutritious and healthy restaurants." It also requires that by 2025, at least 500 restaurants should be built in each city and no less than 5,000 restaurants in the whole province. This is the people's commune canteen. When the people's commune canteen came, the great famine was not far away.


Elimination of Private Enterprise / "Mixed Ownership Reform"

In addition to supply and marketing cooperatives, canteens, private enterprises can not escape. Latest news: On October 18, the Second Division of Anti-Monopoly Law Enforcement of the State Administration of Market Supervision approved China Unicom and Tencent to establish a joint venture to engage in content distribution network and edge computing business: China Unicom holds 48%, Tencent holds 42%, and employees hold 10% %, which is basically China Unicom Holdings. Stimulated by the news, China Unicom's shares rose 1.2%, while Tencent's shares rose 1.4%. Why should the anti-monopoly department approve the joint venture between China Unicom and Tencent? In the content distribution network, China Unicom has only 5% of the market share, Tencent has only 10% of the market share, and edge computing Tencent has only 5% of the market share, which is far from a market monopoly. Neither is involved in monopolistic behavior, and there is no reason for approval. Approval means attaching importance to it, and it also means that no one can participate in this field, only this one can.

The official media previously defined this joint venture project as a "mixed reform", but later someone came out to explain that it was not a "mixed reform". What is "mixed ownership reform", the full name is "mixed ownership reform", that is, an advanced form of state-owned enterprise reform. The reform of state-owned enterprises is part of the reform of China's economic system, and it was pushed to a climax by Zhu Rongji, but Zhu Rongji later found that state-owned enterprises could not be reformed because state-owned enterprises were neither birds nor beasts. If it is simply an enterprise, it is not difficult to reform according to the characteristics of the enterprise, even if it is simply a government department to carry out institutional reform. SOEs are neither government agencies nor corporations, but a hybrid. Zhu Rongji saw that the state-owned enterprises could not be changed, so what should we do? In Wen Jiabao's hands, he couldn't change it, because Wen Jiabao had no idea.

During the period of Xi Jinping, Xi Jinping did not think that state-owned enterprises had any problems and did not need reform at all, so the content of the reform of state-owned enterprises became to solve the problems of other enterprises. Other enterprises include foreign-funded enterprises. Foreign enterprises cannot move, and the rest are private enterprises. Therefore, the reform of state-owned enterprises has become a "mixed ownership reform" in Xi Jinping's hands, that is, a mixture of state-owned enterprises and private enterprises, and private enterprises are mixed with state-owned enterprises. If private companies have money but no technology, let private companies invest in state-owned companies. A typical example: Huiyuan Juice invested in a company of PetroChina. The owner of Huiyuan Juice felt that there was a bargain and invested 3 billion RMB to PetroChina. Huiyuan Juice's profit is very thin, but its cash flow is huge. Previously, Coca-Cola wanted to buy Huiyuan Juice, but the government did not allow Huiyuan Juice to sell, so it failed to sell. I voted for PetroChina, thinking that PetroChina could go public, but it couldn't be listed, and Huiyuan Juice was dragged down like this.

Therefore, mixing private enterprises with state-owned enterprises is basically killing them. China Unicom and Tencent are cooperating, but Tencent has no choice. It can be said that the purpose of the "mixed-ownership reform" is, first, to seize the money of private enterprises. Private enterprises themselves do not have much money. If the money is invested in state-owned enterprises, it is very difficult for private enterprises to expand themselves; second, to seize the boss. The end result is that the bosses of private companies cannot escape.

Therefore, "mixed-ownership reform" is the "public-private partnership" in the new era. Times have changed, and the form has changed, but the goal has not changed, that is, to eliminate private enterprises through transformation.


Socialist Utopia

Briefly summarize Xi Jinping's vision of a socialist utopia:

1. Rural areas: Supply and marketing cooperatives and agricultural cooperatives become the basic framework of the collective economy, and then carry out the reform of intensive production. Combining these three things, the socialist restoration of the countryside will be basically completed. Xi Jinping has completed 70-80%, and only 20-30% needs to be done.

2. Cities: The most important in cities is the primary industry, which includes raw materials and infrastructure. As soon as Xi Jinping came to power, Liu He helped him implement "supply-side reforms". The "supply-side reform" was initiated by Wen Jiabao's 4k billion RMB stimulus plan. At that time, after the 4k billion RMB economic stimulus came up, the demand soared, so various places built raw material supply production - steel mills, cement plants, non-ferrous metal plants, etc. After Xi Jinping came to power, the demand waned because the 4k billion RMB was almost spent. As demand declines, what about the previously built raw material supply factories? Therefore, Liu He's "supply-side reform" began to eliminate backward production capacity. What is backward production capacity? All private enterprises are classified as backward production capacity and eliminated in the "supply-side reform". Therefore, in the primary industry, there are very few private enterprises, accounting for a very small proportion, which is basically a monopoly of state-owned enterprises. State-owned enterprises monopolize the supply of raw materials for the primary industry and monopolize infrastructure, including energy, transportation, water and electricity.

In the financial industry and capital market, foreign capital has always been restricted to a very small space, and the financial industry and capital market have always been basically dominated by state-owned enterprises. In the real estate industry, after this macro-control, basically there are only state-owned enterprises left, which is the world of state-owned enterprises.

Therefore, the primary industry, the real estate market, the financial industry, and the capital market are all owned by state-owned enterprises, while private enterprises and foreign-funded enterprises only have a small share.

Let’s look at the tertiary industry, namely small and medium-sized enterprises, catering, various social services, etc. Through the social transformation of “complete community building”, private enterprises in the tertiary industry will be completely eliminated and replaced by state-owned enterprises.

The core of the rest is the manufacturing industry. The manufacturing industry is mainly export. The marketing of export is maintained by private enterprises and foreign-funded enterprises. However, the upstream of the manufacturing industry is the raw materials, and the raw materials are all controlled by the state-owned enterprises, so the manufacturing industry can be easily controlled.

3. Regime: Using guns, pens, knives, and digital totalitarian tools, the regime is highly concentrated in the hands of the CCP, and the regime of the CCP is highly concentrated in the hands of Xi Jinping.

4. Internal and external policies: conduct comprehensive ideological confrontation with foreign countries, but open up capital markets and industrial markets conditionally, allowing Western capital, technology and management to come in. Complete personal control within.

This utopia is essentially a dictator's paradise, a people's hell, and will eventually evolve into a great famine.

Keep in mind that the essence of socialism is to eliminate the generation mechanism of social wealth. Failure to produce wealth will inevitably lead to poverty. The essence of socialist utopia is to spend all the wealth created and saved in the past forty years, and then there is no wealth generation mechanism. In the old cafeteria, there was no money to eat. Everyone was happy at first, but after all the food in the commune was eaten up, the result was a great famine.

前瞻:習近平餞行的社會主義烏托邦

資本市場背景

國內供銷社概念持續發酵。供銷社概念股持續走高。A股供銷社概念股連漲五天,漲幅10%。暴漲的上市公司之後的股東全是供銷合作社:安徽供銷合作社,浙江供銷合作社聯合社,山東供銷合作社,中華全國供銷合作總社。


供銷合作社

“中華全國供銷合作總社”的運營平台是“中國供銷集團”。“中國供銷集團” 2010年1月國務院批准成立,總資產 150 billion RMB,11家控股公司,控制3家上市公司。2021年營收為 96 billion RMB,在中國500強企業排第83,在中國服務業500強企業排第31。

2022年1月23日“中華全國供銷合作總社”開第七屆理事會,理事會提到2021年的數據:供銷全系統創歷史新高,2021年銷售額 62.6k billion RMB,同期增長19%,產品為農產品、日用品、物流等。此銷售額相當於2021年全國零售總額的 7%。北京市2021年零售總額為 15k billion RMB,供銷社銷售量為其 4.2 倍。

全國範圍內供銷合作社的業務已經大規模展開,這是習近平要搞社會主義的底氣。

湖北省供銷合作總社搞了一個“基層社恢復重建工程” - “基層社”即縣以下直接面對農民的供銷社,直接建在村里的供銷社。目前湖北基層供銷社成員 450k,5年漲了5倍。

現在的供銷社已經不是過去的概念,現在的供銷社:1.資本充足,實力強大;2.跨界運營,壟斷地位;3.為統購統銷奠定基礎。

供銷合作社是計劃經濟的基礎之一。中國的計劃體制把國家絕對劃分成城市和農村兩塊:城市是國有經濟,國有企業;農村是集體經濟。其中農村的集體經濟有兩大塊,一塊叫土地和生產資料集體所有,另一塊叫生產物資、生活物資農產品,統購統銷。“統購統銷”的執行部門叫供銷合作社,簡稱供銷社,負責整個農村的農產品收購、生產和生活物資。即不僅僅是農藥化肥,包括吃穿用著的整個生活物資都由其負責。供銷社是一個非常核心非常主流的供應渠道。

1980年改革開放之後,供銷社失去了流通渠道的壟斷地位,慢慢被糧商、小賣部取代。1982年機構改革,全國供銷合作總社和商業部合併,但保留了牌子“全國供銷合作總社”和原班人馬。

2012年底習近平上台,2013年中央一號文件明確提出:支持供銷合作社開展農產品流通的重要作用。所以供銷合作社並不是現在才開始發生,習近平早就開始幹了。供銷合作社多次被寫入中央一號文件的政府工作報告,並收到大量的、不斷的政府資金投入。

2018年中央一號文件明確提出:全面深化供銷合作社的綜合改革,支持供銷、郵政和各類企業把服務網點延伸到農村。

2021年中央一號文件明確提出:供銷合作社的綜合改革要把生產、供銷以及信用三位一體。不僅僅搞生產,還要搞供銷和信用,信用即金融。2021年7月開始,在東北、華北、華東、中南、西北、西南,全國各區選諾幹省作生產、供銷和信用三位一體的試點,為期兩年。

2022年1月第七屆理事會上說到:2021年全國供銷總社有一個發展基金,30 millon RMB,對60個基層社的改造,改造各地薄弱基層社 2892 家,農村綜合服務社已經發展到了 470k 家。2022年重點打造 100 個流通服務強縣,建設鄉鎮綜合超市 1000 家,改造農村綜合服務社 10k 家, 改造 2000 家薄弱的基層社,打造 1000 家制度健全的基層示範社。


農村合作社

與供銷合作社同時進行的是農業合作社,也在大規模地恢復,只不過實際成果沒有那麼多。供銷合作社和農業合作社加在一起,習近平在農村的社會主義改造已經完成了七、八成。


城市社會主義改造 / 大食堂

在城市,住建部和民政部2022年10月31日聯合給各省發通知:關於開展“完整社區建設試點工作”的通知。要求全國各省每一個城市,拿三到五個社區開展“完整社區建設試點”,從2022年10月開始,為期兩年。什麼叫“完整社區”?即社區綜合服務設施,為當地居民提供一站式服務。服務內容包括:幼兒園、老人服務、便利店、菜市場、食堂、郵件、理髮室、洗衣店、藥店、維修店、家政服務等等,非常完整的社區服務。再統籌幾個“完整社區”,建成一個街區,街區配套中小學、養老院、社區醫院,以15分鐘生活圈為範圍,提供公共服務。

整個社區服務建成之後,即可實現完整的內循環。把小區大門一關,中國人又回到了以前的“單位”制度。以前的單位按照工作場所劃分,現在按照生活小區劃分。中國的市場化改革就是破除單位的社會服務,因為每個單位自己提供社會服務,成本高、效率低,代價巨大。現在用完整社區作為一種包裝,重新把社會服務恢復到以前的模式:以前是工作單位自己提供社會服務,現在是政府統一提供社會服務。這就是和供銷社相匹配的計劃經濟體制的復歸。

但現在的所謂復歸並不是簡單的重複,因為現在政府手裡握著過去四十年中國人苦幹積累起來的財富,加上數字極權工具,再加上現代企業經營體制和現代資本市場的資源,因此中共比四十年前更有信心搞社會主義。

這就是習近平為什麼搞社會主義,因為四十年前經濟條件不夠,但現在要啥有啥,資源充沛。但是他忘記了一條最根本的經濟規律:社會的本質是消滅財富的生成機制,社會主義不產生財富,最後只能弄虛作假,無法持久,等手上的財富消耗完之後,就開始餓肚子了。

河北要求今年各個市至少要建 50 家“營養健康餐廳”,國營的“營養健康餐廳”。並要求到2025年每個城市至少要建不少於 500 家,全省不少於 5000 家大食堂。這就是人民公社大食堂。當人民公社大食堂來的時候,大飢荒就不遠了。


消滅私營企業 / “混合所有制改革”

除了供銷社、大食堂,私營企業也逃不過。最新消息:國家市場監督總局反壟斷執法二司10月18號批准聯通和騰訊成立一家合資公司,從事內容分發網絡和邊緣計算業務:聯通持股48%,騰訊持股42%,員工持股10%,基本上就是聯通控股。受消息刺激,聯通股價升 1.2%,騰訊股價升 1.4%。聯通和騰訊合資,為什麼要反壟斷部門審批?在內容分發網絡,聯通只占5%的市場份額,騰訊只占 10%的市場份額,邊緣計算騰訊只占 5%市場份額,離市場壟斷差得遠了。兩家都不涉及壟斷行為,沒有理由審批。審批即表示重視,也表示這個領域誰都無法參與,只有這家可以。

官媒之前把這個合資項目定義為“混改”,後來又有人出來解釋不是“混改”。什麼是“混改”,全稱為“混合所有制改革”,即國企改革的高級形式。國企改革是中國經濟體制改革的一部分,在朱鎔基手上推到高潮,但朱鎔基後來發現國企沒法改革,因為國企非鳥非獸。如果單純是企業,針對企業特徵進行改革其實不難,即便單純是政府部門進行機構改革也不難。國企既不是政府機構,又不是企業,而是一個混合體。朱鎔基一看,國企沒法改,改不了,那怎麼辦,拖吧,拖著不改。到了溫家寶手裡,更是沒法改,因為溫家寶想法都沒有。

等到了習近平時期,習近平根本不覺得國企有任何問題,根本不需要改革,所以國企改革的內容就變成了解決其它企業的問題。其它企業包括外資企業,外國人的企業那動不了,剩下的就是私營企業。於是國企改革在習近平手裡就變成了“混合所有制改革”,也就是讓國企和私企混合,私企跟著國企混。如果私企有錢沒技術,就讓私企投資給國企。典型的例子:匯源果汁投資給中石油的一家企業,匯源果汁的老闆覺得有便宜可撿,投了3 billion RMB給中石油。匯源果汁其實利潤很薄,但其現金流很大。之前可口可樂想收購匯源果汁,但是政府不讓匯源果汁賣,所以沒賣成。投給中石油,以為中石油可以上市,後來上不了市,匯源果汁就這樣被拖垮。

所以私企和國企混,基本就是作死。聯通和騰訊合營,騰訊也是沒有辦法。可以說“混改”的目的,第一,抓住私企的錢,私企本身錢不多,把錢投入國企,私企自身的擴張就非常難實現;第二,抓住老闆這個人。最終的結果就是,私營企業的老闆走不掉逃不開。

所以“混改”就是新時代的“公私合營”,時代不同了,形式發生變化,但是目標沒有變,即通過改造消滅私營企業。


社會主義烏托邦

大致歸納一下習近平的社會主義烏托邦構想:

1. 農村:供銷社與農業合作社成為集體經濟的基本框架,再進行集約化生產的改革。這三樣東西結合起來,農村的社會主義復歸就基本完成。習近平已經完成七、八成,只剩下二、三成需要去做。

2. 城市:城市裡最重要的為第一產業,第一產業包括原材料和基礎設施。習近平一上台,劉鶴就幫他推行了“供給側改革”。“供給側改革”起因為溫家寶推行的 4k billion RMB 刺激經濟計劃。當時 4k billion RMB 經濟刺激上來之後,需求暴漲,於是各地興建原材料供應產 - 鋼廠、水泥廠、有色金屬廠等等。到了習近平上台之後,需求減退,因為 4k billion RMB 基本快花完了。需求減退,那之前興建的原材料供應廠廠怎麼辦?於是就開始劉鶴的“供給側改革”,開始淘汰落後產能。什麼是落後產能,所有私營企業都被劃歸為落後產能,在“供給側改革”中被淘汰掉了。 所以在第一產業裡,私營企業非常少,占比極小,基本上是國企壟斷。國企壟斷了第一產業的原材料供應,壟斷了基礎設施,包括能源、交通、水電。

金融行業資本市場,外資一直被限制在非常狹小的空間,金融行業和資本市場一直以來基本上全是國企的天下。房地產行業的話,經過這次宏觀調控下來,基本上現在就只剩下國企,是國企的天下。

所以第一產業、房地產市場、金融行業、資本市場,全是國有企業占有天下,私營企業、外資企業只分到一點小湯小水。

再來看第三產業,即中小企業,餐飲、各種社會服務等等,通過“完整社區建設”的社會改造,第三產業裡的私營企業就會被完全滅掉,全部被國有企業取代。

剩下最核心的就是製造業,製造業主要是出口,出口的營銷維持私營企業和外資企業。但是製造業的上游是原材料,原材料全部被國企掌控,所以可以輕易控制製造業。

3. 政權:利用槍桿子、筆桿子、刀把子,加上數字極權工具,政權高度集中在中共手裡,而中共的政權高度集中在習近平手裡。

4. 內外政策:對外國進行意識形態全面對抗,但在資本市場和產業市場進行有條件開放,讓西方的資本、技術和管理進來。對內進行完整的人身控制。

這個烏托邦本質上就是獨裁者的天堂,人民的地獄,最終必定會演化成一場大飢荒。

請記住,社會主義的本質是消滅社會財富的生成機制,不能生產財富,就必然導致貧困。社會主義烏托邦的本質就是把過去四十年創造的財富和攢下的家底全部花光,之後卻沒有財富生成機制。以前的大食堂吃飯不要錢,最開始誰都高興,但是把公社裡的糧食全部吃光之後,結果就是大飢荒。

[文字內容由 王劍每日觀察:習近平餞行的社會主義烏托邦/20221102 視頻內容整理所得]

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Tooth Fairy

My daughter lost her 2nd tooth yesterday, which set her into a fever pitch, excited about if the tooth fairy would come. I had no idea about this tooth fairy deal, hence I placed an orange and some plastic cutlery under their pillows for their first teeth. Then I asked around to find out the kids usually get money. 

She didn't allow me to sleep with her last night because that could stop the fairy from coming. Usually, she cries and cries and cries so she could get me to lie down with her while falling asleep. Then midnight she screamed for me because she needed to use the toilet. When done, she asked me to Not stay with her, that definitely never happened before because she's extremely scared of dark. I kept reminding myself to put the stuff under her pillow and then went back to my bed. 

At 6:30am, my son woke up to use the toilet, he yelled and woke me up too. At first, I was not sure what dimensions I was at, but then I ran, luckily I had my robe on. I ran downstairs to get a 5-dollar note and a candy, then ran up to slide them under my daughter's pillow, right before my son finished his business in the bathroom and back in the room to help his sister check. When my daughter got to know the stuff the tooth fairy gave her, she jumped into our bed to tell us this news, at 6:40am. My son verified that the note was not a toy note but a real one issued by Federal Reserve Bank. 

Then my children brushed their teeth, and quietly cleaned up their room, folding beddings and arranging pillows. As I was reminding them: "See, some being is indeed watching you closely the whole time, knowing exactly what's happening to you. I can't believe the money is real. Why is no one giving mommy some cash under mommy pillow. You better do your own chores, no arguing and fighting but help each other out, or else..." "But I lost 4 teeth already." "Oh, is it because you fought with your sister so the fairy didn't give you money? Or is it because you are always playing around instead of cleaning up?" "No, it's because I never put my teeth under my pillow." "Oh, then you put them all out tonight, but remember to tell fairy about it, just like how we talk to Goddess Durga, Goddess Lakshmi, Goddess Saraswati, Goddess Kali and all. Then fairy will come and make it up to you." "Okay..." Then they went ahead to breakfast and school in ecstasy and delirium..... 

Ain't kids the best gifts parents could get?! 🥰 

***

So my son did tell the tooth fairy that he's gonna put all 4 of his lost teeth tonight under his pillow, and both my son and daughter really believe in the tooth fairy. I mean kids are so strange, we indeed do puja for all the Goddesses and Gods during festivals, and we indeed go to the temple once or twice a year, but we also told them all religions are merely science fictions, people imagined all of them up. Different people in different geographic and cultural backgrounds, at different times, imagined different kinds of stories. But they still would believe the tooth fairy really came and gave them money and stuff! Duh! 

I'm only gonna give my son 15 dollars for his 4 teeth because guess what, that first one I already dealt with. No double sales. When he asks tomorrow morning, I will say: "Well, I guess your fairy was an accountant before..." I asked my daughter today, "Where is your tooth then?" She told me the fairy took it. I was right away discreetly putting my arm under her pillows, trying to find that little tooth of her. Most probably it fell under the bed... 

So I took my son's 4 teeth out after placing 15 dollars and a big candy bar under his pillow. I was holding the teeth in my palm and asking my husband:" What we gonna do with these?!" "Throw them in the trash." "What?! NO! He kept so well for so long, in that little blue teeth box from the dentist, even took them out for our guests to see!" Eventually, we dug a hold in our strawberry field, buried all 4 in the soil, and hoped to see a teeth tree grow out of it. We are still trying to locate my daughter's missing tooth...

Sunday, October 30, 2022

Leena ♥

It is really hard work, I had sweat dribbling on my face, my back, and my ass. It was difficult to breathe under the n95 mask and my glasses under my sunglasses gave me a headache. For the whole time when we were on campus, I was trying to shake off the feeling that "what morons we must look like" and convince myself that "we had no individual identity but only a message we had the audacity to show to the world".

Without Leena, I would never be able to do it. When I was barely putting myself together, and trying very hard not to act down but up. Leena was super strong and tactical. She wasn't able to wrap her head around herself, but she was able to come up with surprisingly firm and encouraging comments such as "It's our first day. We are only trying out, and we will keep trying and find which is the best place and best time. We should come at the proximately fixed time each weekend, in the same best spot..." The other times I tried to lighten up the mood by talking serious nonsense mostly I couldn't understand myself, she knew I didn't know what I was talking about, also we didn't want anyone to hear our voices, so we were in silence for the longest time. 

As usual, I was very scared that this is just a one-time thing so I didn't want to set any expectations. It's a lot to ask, no? It's not her country, not her people, not her life. On the contrary, it's really hard work, walking around in that heavy disguise and standing in the sun for hours holding up the banner, to no one, to people who couldn't care less, or to something unpredictable. There were Chinese kids who knew exactly what it was and laughed in our faces like it was too funny a joke. But she did all this for me.

I couldn't stop ridiculing myself in my own head, however, I dare not share it out loud, not sure how it was gonna affect her. I was worried that it was too hot or too tiring for her so I kept asking if she was okay. I wanted to try out different places but I was not sure if she was on board. And then we were holding that long banner, walked down a mile to a place with nobody, stood there for a while to nobody. Then again walked up a mile, found the most ridiculous spot where kids lying on the grass or eating snacks, stood there for 20 more minutes and were laughed at by more kids. It was good to try out, but she did all that for me. 

Then on the way back to her car we parked streets away, we couldn't stop ourselves from cracking up. How ridiculous we looked, an Afro-man with lady boots who adopted a new way of walking with a limping leg; next to a short curly hair kid carrying a backpack who was trying to walk like a fat but jumpy Latino man. Luckily it was Halloween so nobody thought to call the police about two suspicious potential bank robbers.

We couldn't stop laughing on the car ride back home, tears all over my sweaty face and big hair. How typical of us, when we are together, we are forever unbelievably fun. Nobody else shall be able to understand. 

Then Raj called, asking where we were, the four of them were on campus and looking for us. How dare they! All that efforts to conceal our true identities, how dare they tried to bring the kids near us and break all that we built! Should we have a family group photo together then, with the banner? For Goddesses' sake, we tried to look like some campus kids who had no clue about family and kids!

I really wish Leena won't back out and will be in the mood to continue being by my side for this ridiculousness. And deep down I know she feels my sadness and will do whatever helps me ease my pain. Leena is my protector who has a priceless pure and golden heart.  ♥ 

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Hit the street

It's indeed a very sad moment for South Korea. Usually developed countries don't know much about it, it's only associated with "poor, crowded, dirty, and backward" places like India, and "inferior, filthy, uneducated, barefoot Indians' lives don't regard to be as worthy as rich countries' fair citizens". Just the way how this world was and is. 

The stampede, there is always something that triggers it. Once the wave starts, it won't be able to be stopped. People got dragged in and pushed down in the wave, never able to get up and get out. Most of them suffocate to death. 

Chatted with J, she thanked me to comfort her during such a sad moment. They all are in mourning, and Halloween celebrations were abruptly canceled among friends and families. "A lot of bright young lives were suddenly taken..." 

I know. Precisely because I know how it feels, I know how important is to have people who understand and feel for it, and how important is to have people who are willing to feel for it with you. I wish there were more people around me who feel the same despair for my country. But I've walked so far so alone, I am used to the loneliness. And I never really have expectations for anyone. I try hard to make my life here count, try to make other people laugh, and do everything for them. But deep down, I can never stop the feeling of being left all alone in this universe. 

But I also developed my tactics to cope. Without the shame of disturbing others, I relentlessly share whatever information I consider relevant with them; and without the excitement of being seen and liked, I headstrongly speak up for whatever I consider vital. I know most of them don't really care and I know most people can't stand a person who expresses oneself like how I do. It's never loveable or pleasant, especially when you are a woman. Nevertheless, I solely can't pretend to be anything else. 

At least I have Leena to go to the street with me. No matter how strangely and immensely different Leena and I think, we always find that weird way to be with each other, support each other and love each other. Brushing off the discomfort that pops up once in a while due to our unignorable differences. At least both of us are completely transparent, never holding back or hiding. Whatever people can see is whoever we are. Both of us are so hot-tempered and headstrong, exactly like firecrackers. The difference is I've been groomed to be polite and compliant throughout my childhood, so I can easily maintain a good stance on the surface. If the affair is nonconsequential, I have the "wiping out mechanism" to forget all about it, only exploding on matters that are deemed pronounced. On contrary, Leena sprints on all. Lol, anyways, just different mechanisms to cope with living in this miserable world...

All of a sudden, Raj is moving on fast to the project with P. I do not understand how the world could shift within an unnoticeable moment, the same way I do not understand why the world stays indecipherable for most of us' longest duration of being. I do not understand, so I do understand. I do understand, so I do not understand. 

Nobody knows what's coming for them at any given moment, not even when things were long gone. It's only that imperceptible longing as if you might be not alone, not left alone. 

At least I have Leena to go to the street with me.

Sunday, October 23, 2022

Diwali

I know humans are weak, we turn to succumb to authority, be it an authoritarian ruler/strongman or an authoritarian religion/ideology; we incline to be selfish and shortsighted, easily giving up long-term freedom for the benefit in front of eyes; and we can surrender to fear, hatred or any kind of phobias without putting up a good fight or thought... But deep down in each one of our hearts, we have never stopped longing for light, and longing for love. May the victory of light shine on the brave ones who fought hard for it, may the victory of light can also shine on the ones who still live in the endless darkness, one day. 🙏

人類軟弱,我們屈服於權威,對專制的強人或宗教與意識形態下跪;我們自私和短視,輕易為眼前利益放棄長遠自由;我們常無任何抗爭與思考便向恐懼和仇恨投降...但在每個人的內心深處,從未停止過對光和愛的渴望。願勝利之光照亮敢於抗爭的勇敢者,有朝一日也能照向仍活在無盡黑暗與苦難中的人🙏 



And I do love, love all of them...


Saturday, October 22, 2022

Supreme Dictator

The other shoe has fallen, Xi has overwhelmingly defeated all political rivals, successfully consolidated the highest possible absolute power as a supreme dictator, to a degree as nobody has anticipated or imagined. China now officially leaps from system authoritarianism to dictator authoritarianism. Hence China will now race into the worst possible path people ever imagined. There's only darkness left there. The next ten years are gonna be dark for the whole world. 

Now the last breath of hope has vanished. We had been anxiously waiting for that miracle to drop. A miracle that the sure-to-be emperor won't take full control of the party, therefore economic reform and a certain degree of diplomatic openness could still find their place, as the result of political struggle and power balance. Now with absolute power, he is allowed to do whatever he wishes, and he will apply whatever his mind thinks is logical or viable to the powerless people. 

In the 41 years when Mao was in absolute power, there were famines that one of which killed 40 million, uncountable purges and class struggle to wipe out entire classes and clans, and a decade-long Cultural Revolution washed away thousands of years of culture and civilization, only to leave fear, shame, and oblivion deep down in people's hearts and minds. The only way to make it stop was to wait for the dictator's death. As of today, we have officially arrived at another beginning of decades-long suffering, with a dictator that is even redder and crueler than the previous one.  

I cried like crazy for a few minutes, then I abruptly stopped and just couldn't continue anymore. I was not able to cry for days and weeks. I somehow, out of a sudden lost my capability to express my fear or complex emotions. My world has sunk. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep no more. I carried on in my daily life robotically and emotionlessly. I only have been trying to make my kids and kids in my classes and teams laugh, like a job, like my duty, but I haven't really laughed or smiled for nobody knows how long.  

None of my people have gotten out. And it's clear as the day to me now, there is no future left for any of them inside. I mean how can anyone, if they are not crazy in the mind, promptly leave whatever they have behind and go to a place they can't even understand a word. And there was no way to get passports, no way to get visas, and no way to physically get out for the past three years. Onward, all aspects imaginable only will be harder. And do I ever dare to go back there anymore? I will be risking my entire disappearance and nobody will give a fuck or be able to give a fuck. My world and their world, hence are forever parted and pacing in opposite directions. Most probably last time when I saw them in China, would be the last time in decades.

My heart bleeds for my baby cousin brothers and sisters, there is no prosperity left on their way to achieving financial security, and there is no protection left for their most fundamental rights as decent human beings. In the same way, my heart bleeds for all the young people struggling in there, barely to survive. And the hundreds of millions of poor, basic living will only be harder as the dictator wishes to go full-on communism and collectivism. More and more tragedies will occur, and more and more brutal death will break out. Our lives have never been more valuable than ants since the beginning of Chinese empires, have we?

I don't know how to cry anymore.

***

I did cry at the end, in spite of being emotionlessly numb for days. 

Cried hysterically when I went to sleep at 3am, for a long time, not able to snap myself out of it. In his daziness and confusion, my husband kept telling me to control it, and "nothing actually happened". 

My heart was torn to pieces, I couldn't stop the violence and brutality when darkness excavated my heart out, leaving a cold hollow. I don't remember ever being so heartbroken, hauling and gasping for air. Where I came from, my childhood, my memories, my family, my old friends, now only suffering is left for them and now deep down in my guts I know, I've lost it all, forever. 

Growing up knowing we didn't have the immense unluck to be born in the time of turmoils, time of father's extreme hunger and education rights being stripped away for a decade, but now this immense unluck has again fallen on us all. 

I cry for the suffering that's going to come after everyone. 

Then I will stop, wipe my face, learn to be stronger, and stand up to fight.

Friday, October 21, 2022

American Constitution and Religious Freedom -- Fintan O’Toole: Is America's democracy under threat? (1)

In Mr. O'Toole's eyes, as an outsider to America, there are concerning factors that might pose threat to America's democracy (I kill for great writers' perspectives on current politics thus making this summary for myself).

1. One of the most constitutive aspects of the creation of America, as well as has been taken for granted and increasingly threatened, was the separation of church and state. This Jeffersonian idea of "nobody could be free if there was a state church" constructed America's religious plurality. And this was one of the most radical, admirable, and important statements that were written in the American constitution. This statement was not an anti-religion statement, on the contrary, it was a guarantor of religious freedom. 

The American constitution was written in the 18th century, it was in its time such an extraordinary and inspiring document, therefore we find it difficult to think of it other than a sacred text. Statements such as taking religion out of the state were not only a brilliant political construct for the creation of the United States, but also were fundamental statements about the human condition and about how human beings can interact freely with each other. However, because it has been viewed as a holy writ, rather than a historical and political construct from a specific time, there is a natural tendency to put religion back into the state to make the constitution itself kind of quasi-religious.    

In contrast to constitutions such as German and Japanese which were developed in the 20th century, precisely after WWII, those were using American constitutions as fundamental frameworks, but much easier to adapt to changing circumstances. So one of the great tension in the American system is that because ways of changing the American constitution is very very difficult, the supreme court becomes an overly powerful arbiter. Also, a lot of unenumerated rights were not written down in the constitution, thus it has become a difficult business because America doesn't have a process for public and democratic engagement in changing the constitution. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Emperor

Has been down for days. At this age, when I’m down, I'm more cynical and mean. Not to be mean to anyone in real life, only to scream in my own head. 

How can I be not down? The world is racing into a pitch dark for me. I wish I could be carefree, I wish I am not aware of the darkness lurking about, I wish I stay ignorant and innocent, stay brainwashed too. But I have never been like that, have I? If I were carefree, if I didn't have a sharp eye to see through what was truly happening in that darkness, I literally wouldn't survive, would I?

Many haters say "I wish China never had that golden period to grow, hence CCP won't be so powerful today and pose a threat to the whole world". If China didn't have that 40 years (1980-2020) of growth, if China's door has been shut and never got open, I wouldn't exist, would I? Even if I could be brought into this world, I wouldn't have the opportunity ever to study, to learn, to run out, and have the life I have today, would I?

Mao died, so Cultural Revolution finished, and the suffering of the billion people finally started to ease. Then the leadership did a series of adjustments - canceled lifelong tenure for individual leaders, shrank down the military, proposed technology development, rekindled with the West, and opened China's door to become the world's factory. 

But without political reform which could result in power loss for CCP leaders, there is always a chance for men like Xi to rise up to absolute power. In 1989 people went to the streets, and as a result, USSR collapsed, but China took the opposite turn. 40 years, it was just a dream. Now time to wake up, and Chinese people go back to the dark. Our life has never been more valuable than ants, for the past 2000+ years. 

I don't feel content to be able to escape, because how many could be like me, having such luck to cross over to the side of light? Or have I ever? Crossed over to the side of light? 

Begins in dark, ends in dark. The only comfort I take is to be able to work for something that brings upon a tiny ray of light. Too much blood, too much screaming, the only peace in me comes from the faintly burning candle deep in my soul. 

Aren't we all? 

Barely surviving, day to day, hour to hour. Breathlessly crawling, inside our own cage, carrying our own prison. 

From now on, it would only get worse. China has again taken another drastic turn, falling back into the abyss. The endless darkness, has defeated us all. 

Monday, October 17, 2022

Some basic human historical facts too many people are ignorant about

In case one day your child comes back home and asks you "Are our gods and goddesses Fake? My friend said so". 

You can reply: 

1. Our gods and goddesses symbolize a way of living and it belongs to an ancient "religion", if you'd like to call it that way, in fact, the only surviving ancient religion. A way of living so to accept and respect the Unknown, and any expression on the path of searching is tolerated and respected based on our way of living, anyways. Thus when "our gods and goddesses" already existed for thousands of years, your friend's "one true male god" was just written into books. 

2. Just so you know, all the ancient religions, like ours, Mayan, Egyptian, Assyrian, Greek, Persian, and ancient Chinese etc, all of them had equally powerful Goddesses that ancient people worship, like how we still worship goddesses today. It was only later that society was more divided, and gradually men became more powerful, thus in the young religions that were less than 2000 somewhat years old, only male presence got written into books as the divine or main deity. In the young religions, women only exist as secondary, attachment, sin or property. You should be so proud that we still celebrate Goddesses today, like how ancient people did thousands of years ago. 

3. Tell your friend America is a democratic country, religious freedom is each and every citizen's fundamental right, and also is each and every citizen's duty to protect. What your friends learn in the church is his/her freedom, but running around outside and making comments that violate religious freedom is different. They should know the line.