New Year's Resolution 2022

Not in the mood for the New Year's Resolution video, will just write it down then. Meh, fine, as long as I put my mind into it :) 

Can't believe one more year has passed! These turmoil times, these turmoil times... Things that happened merely a few months ago already seem blurry and murmuring, out of order, lack full perspectives. We have been unwillingly pulled into the middle of the swirl, constantly being pushed in unforeseeable directions. The only concept that has been consistent and progressed steadily is Time. In time, my children grew bigger and shinier, we grew older and paler; in time, chaos became peace, peace turned into chaos; in time, some of us gained more wisdom, some of us developed more unsettling senses; in time, nothing has been rectified, none of us has changed...

Well well, enough of the emotions Momo, just write your resolutions!

Hmmm, I think if I start writing, it will surely turn out to be just a piece of diary. Resolution or not, no guarantees.... 

1. The thoroughly planned UK trip has turned into a bubble. We were trying to grasp onto the last imaginary hope, but the bubble burst at its own will, out of anyone's hands. We had been monitoring the Omicron situation and everything looked bleaker and bleaker day by day. Just really don't want to be tested positive and be stuck in UK right before ending the trip, missing two weeks of my children's study, now that 24-hour testing is required to board the in and out flights. Also, the infection rate has been skyrocketing and this variant might turn out to be as deadly as all the other variants. Sigh, can't imagine what the world will become in two months' time. Will India go through another round of chaos and tragedy since the vaccine seemed lost efficacy toward the new variant? The world is gonna keep dividing in a bad way if only Pfizer and Moderna which are mainly produced by American pharmaceutical companies are up against the new variant. I really thought with multiple vaccines out from all over the countries, now we are together entering the last phase of this damn COVID. 

My wish is that in the foreseeable future, the world could finally catch up with each other, with the help from rich nations to the poor. And no more deadly variants from less advanced nations where the majority of people are too poor to be taken care of. Please, Please, Please. When the rich and ignorant are abusing their freedom to refuse masks and vaccines, when thousands (maybe more) of vaccines are thrown away every day like garbage, the poor are desperately waiting for any kind of jabs to provide any kind of protection. When the rich deliberately chooses their misery, the poor are using all their might to struggle and beg to see another sunlight. 

2. My parents have successfully taken the flight out from Shanghai, reunited with us after two years. They almost were denied the freedom to travel abroad and sent back to their hometown because of the abuse of authoritative power at all levels. Large populations have been denied access in and out of China, stay separated from their family. A few days after my parents' arrival, we took them to get Moderna even though they had two shots of Sinovac five months ago. Now two shots of Moderna are complete. Same as all of us, we four and Leena Noah had completed all shots from Pfizer. Now we just sit and wait through this round of Omicron turmoil, hopefully, schools won't be closed again after the new year. Then I will start preparing for my parents' returning trip to China, which could turn out to be ten times more traumatic than getting out. China is getting darker by the day, with the rest of the world falling in and out of unstoppable surges, gasping for air. The iron fist's grips grew tighter and tighter, penetrating into each and every living thing's body and brain, inside the iron walls. 

My wish? I have no wish in this respect. China is gonna be what China wants to be. All I know is, because of all the miserable experiences from my birth country, now I am not able to hold up any respect for any form of authoritarianism. Governments, religions, organizations, individuals, I have problems with them all. Don't preach me with your one and only true male god, don't lecture me with your glorious achievements for the people, don't shake up anyone and make him/her the hero of my life. I take comfort in the existence of polytheism, I seek refuge in the society/community that is constructed to respect and tolerate, I will light up my own path to the stars and the garden of bliss, no one needs to shine on me.

3. With what happened to me in 2021, the Cultural Revolution thing? At this moment, I actually am feeling quite past it, thoroughly. Actually, I have never felt sad as such, mainly was shock and then amusement. Now my parents are here, we talked and talked and talked. I stood my ground and realized that they are almost aligned with me in many aspects. For example, agreeing on my and my children's identity/nationality. For example, agreeing on why the future of us four has to be here but nothing to do with there. I sensed that now, after 13+ years, my parents finally started to realize their respect for my husband. For firstly, I am not abandoned or divorced, instead, loved and pampered, in contrast to a lot of other family members, secondly, the educated Indians do get far, in spite of their humble family monetary backgrounds and "unfavorable" skin complexion.  

Plus I am quite surprised you have followed my tracks to this far, in my dear diary? No matter how and when you found me, you must feel very amused by me in general, for whatever I say and whatever I write. And so many of you in Canada?! Yes, I have been trying to figure you out too, but absolutely no clue so far. Why Canada? I just couldn't put it together. Anyways, I feel immensely honored to have you instead of being completely alone in my dear diaries (it's not that I have any problem with being alone). I wish that one day, I might really write something up to put into a book, when I set up some bookselling and signing event, I can talk with you all in person. And oh, also, my other wish, please don't murder me.... (heart heart)

Ok, my new year's resolution turned into a new year's wish dear diary, anyways, whatever I write, right? Love ya. 

On Youtube Defamation and Slander - Dec. 2021

 Today

If everything could be done in a finger snap, then, what's the fun of doing anything? "You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?" So for all the 28 videos that contained my works, 15 of them got deleted within a few hours, I guess it was automatic deletion due to the low views of those videos. The other 13 got sent to review, asking me to reply to the email with details, the more the better, I guess there will be a manual review. 

All the 5 videos didn't contain my work but were solely talking about me, using my real name, they were all about slander and defamation, personal attack. None of the creators deleted the video themselves upon seeing the Privacy Complaint Notice. They were all sent to yb review but till now all the result shows "violation not found". 

I will reply one by one to the 13 copyright infringement videos, try to get them down by copyright. And whatever not taken down from the 13, together with the 5, I will ask my lawyer to contact yb directly, in the name of privacy invasion and slander. 

This might take months, even years, but ya, it would be FUN!!! Good exercises haha... 

Ooopsy, Sorry, I'm a psycho too, I never ever give up....

How it started

What? I just realized, (I just realized!!! what have I been doing before???) I should file a privacy complaint on all those videos that dared to be posted on yb. Completely fake stories, using my videos and images, defaming me. I am doing it one video by one video. If yb doesn't take down those videos, I am gonna ask T to be my lawyer and sue the fuck out of yb.

2 days ago

Submitted 30 Privacy Complaints on completely different videos made by different accounts, 3 (automatically) got approved for privacy violation that went into a 48-hour notice to that account, if they don't respond, then yb will review it. The thing is, only these 3 contained no video or image of me, only talking about me throughout the video. yb asked me to go through the Copyright Infringement channel to complain about the other 27. I'm not happy about it at all, but yes, I am in the process of matching each video with my content and requesting takedown because of copyright violations. Let's see what happens. Since meeting T, I am ready to go any length to take legal actions to protect my rights.

Let's see how many that yb would takedown. 

These ones I filed copyright infringement removal request one by one.

1 day ago

First removal!!! This one has been detected automatically by yb before, this mf used my whole video, look at that length!!! The copyright infringement notice been sitting in my dashboard for gods know how long and I requested removal today, it's taken down after 2 hours. Most of the other videos used a few seconds of many of my different videos throughout their videos. EACH SECOND of my image being used is a Copyright Infringement!!! Who gave you mfs the rights to use any sort of my f* image???? Waiting for Yb to remove them all or wait for my lawyer's notice and we will see you in the court!!

Yup yup, this is what I'm talking about, you use my image a teeny tiny bit of a SECOND, I will ask Yb to take down your video within hours. 

这就是版权，你敢用我的图片一秒，我就让油管在几个小时内把你整个视频拿下来。你用我的真名，谈论我的事情，我就以侵犯隐私权让油管把你整个视频拿下来。如果油管不拿？我让油管吃我的官司。公民有基本权利的地方，普通人版权、肖像权、隐私权等等各种权利受保护的地方，做事就这个风格。怎么，有谁不爽吗？

想抹黑印度抹黑印度人抹黑什么鬼都可以，但是不要用到我的一丁点信息，不然让油管关你账户。

所以你们留在内网玩就好了，油管有法制。

Pretty fast!! I am enjoying seeing all these mf videos being taken down one by one.

Follow up - Dec 15th

Yaaaaaaa!!! u mf, go f y!!!

Random Thoughts Nov-Dec 2021

Nov. 10th 

The first day in my daughter's class, oh my sweet lord... when the kids were having recess in the playground, I was rushing to wipe all that dirty tables... those were wiped by multiple parents in their cleaning-up volunteering time before the pandemic. Post pandemic, until yesterday parent volunteers had not been allowed, the tables just left unwiped, being dirty for months... 

My phone playing "The Ants Go Marching" to warm up for the musical storytime I was about to give right after recess, my head right above the table, sweat on forehead, both hands up and down so hard following the ants marching beats, trying to scrape off layers of glue, color wax, scotch tapes and whatever sticky things there... 

I was totally in my Chinese Maid Mode, ended up wiping everywhere, arranging everything and picking up anything from the floor. And I can't shake off the thought that on Friday I would carry my own vacuum cleaner in my car, once I get permission from the teacher, I'm gonna run back to my car, get the vacuum cleaner and vacuum the heck out of the floor and carpets..... 

I did sing and read to the kids, this week is the letter "I", not many cute animals with this letter so I read some insect books. The boys loved them, well I mean both boys and girls loved the insects but boys paid more attention and asked great questions, actually, girls too, now that I think. It's just that after 30 minutes or so when some of the boys still wanted to know more about the anthills and praying mantis, some girls wanted to play... I guess they knew only limited playtime was left and they missed their dolls and animals, it was about time anyway, they did very well sitting through, listening and cooperating.. 

Anyway, it was fun being a full-time assistant and cleaning lady to my daughter's TK class, and got to see all the beautiful, well-mannered, and curious children. Oh btw, there were already around 10 kids who got the COVID shot, I was surprised because I have only been able to book an appointment for one of my kids, CVS system has been down all these days!!.... 

Nov. 15th

Kids at recess, just cleaned up all the tables, stuck their name tags with tape, wiped down the tables again only to find my arms are sour from Wednesday's crazy cleaning, arranged their pencil boxes, also sharpened a lot of pencils... Cleaned up the puzzle corner, almost got a panic attack when I couldn't figure out the 3-6 year-old 13 pieces puzzle, I just left all the pieces there on top....now I'm gonna finally, at last, Broom the Floor!!!!

Nov. 29th

Children at 4-5 years old are just so fantastic..... they are still wet clay that is shapable, constantly absorbing the environment. The boy who didn't know how to hold a pen properly, was called by the teacher at least 20 times a morning because of not following directions. I've been spending extra time with him, teaching basics, encouraging him, cheering for him. This week I haven't heard one time him being called on and today he really tried to write letters and did very good drawings, he seemed calm and put down efforts on learning. 

Not only children are like shapable clays, but they are also like water buckets, you got to first fill those buckets with love, care and attention, help them feel full about themselves, be confident, be satisfied, be secure, then they could have love and care for others, like the water outflow from the buckets.

Dec. 5th

People are very familiar with the Indian online Internet service providers in recent years, call centers and website builders for 8 dollars an hour. Now we are also getting tutoring services from India! Actually, I've been hearing that our friends and family are having Indian teachers to teach them musical instruments, vocals, and all kinds of stuff. And they are good indeed! The teachers are personal and parents got to monitor the whole 1 hour, all 60 minutes not even 1 is wasted.... and their marketing....man, the Indian sales forces.... they just keep you hooked....the whole system is profound with detailed information and long-term teaching plans and curriculums, very Americanized with a good understanding of American education system and parents' thought patterns and way of dealing with things.... feeling like we have our own private homeschooling system setup remotely with Indian teachers... coding, maths, piano, maybe more in the future.... and of course, it's way much cheaper than anything.... 

The sales guy was trying to be professional with me, assuming an American mom, talking slowly and a made-up accent, then my husband wanted to add something, the sales guy instantly switched to Hindi and a lot of "Haan Ji Sir Haan Ji Sir Haan Ji Sir", the old familiar Indian men's negotiation mode, then my husband said, "please keep speaking English so my wife can understand"... oh man it was funny...

Dec. 1st

It's my fault, I am too used to the female-friendly environment where people (in general) respect men and women with no difference. When I relive the experience of being treated as the secondary, the no-voice, the non-existence, the unconsequential woman of the family who doesn't have a say in any matters, I get damn angry... "Sir" "Sir" "Sir" bowing to my husband, who assumedly to be a breadwinner and family authority, while to me? "Don't move the chairs!" "Don't touch this!" "Do it again! I told you so!" and "Nobody is fucking replying to your stupid womanly jokes!" with a cold poker face that has contempt written all over, treating me like an illiterate who can't speak English. You think I won't report and complain the fuck out of you? You fucking Chauvinist Pig. 

 

Nov. 10th

I completely forgot how nasty it was to have UTI!! That was 12, 13 years ago, and mind that, the last time I had it was before giving birth!!! I peed in my pants today!!!... 

Was driving my daughter back home from dancing class, was thinking, "OK, 10 minutes is fine, I can hold...." 2 minutes later, became:" No No No I have to go NOW!!!" Luckily I just went to CVS to pick up my antibiotics and used the bathroom there, so CVS it is!!! But I was not sure I could hold until the bathroom inside so I parked in some corner, ready to go outside my car!!!!(it's dark at this hour) but I'm scared of the parking lot cameras, so I grabbed my daughter and ran like running for life. Straight into the bathroom, luckily not occupied... but I did pee in my pants while running, significant amount!!!.... luckily I have my period right now so I'm wearing this thick pad, otherwise, my pants would be all wet like a toddler or an 80-year-old who needs diapers.... 

Oh man, bathrooms and diapers, hold up women's last dignity.... me and my daughter ran straight out of CVS after using the bathroom because I got to pick up my son for his Taekwondo class...people in CVS looking at us like watching a movie..... I deserve a boba tea today.... 

Nov. 9th

My physician was like: "How about your bleeding? You want a referral to OBGYN?" She's been on my ass to get to see an OBGYN, not letting any one of my postcoital bleedings go... I think doctors sometimes don't trust patients that much especially when it comes to domestic violence on women, because most women wouldn't admit it, so the best for the doctors to do is not let any sign and suspicion go and send their patients for further examination. 

At least doctors in America that I met, they would always try to figure out if any patient is being hurt by the close ones. I feel lucky to have a physician who takes care of you and thinks about your case.

Nov. 13th

沒錯! 人不是按照地域或者種族或者皮膚色或者口音或者頭髮長短眼睛大小鼻子高低錢包大小來分。用外表和長相，或者其它外在的標準比如金錢和地位，來做判斷并鑒別一個人，只能說是你不成熟，非常不成熟，而且注定你會犯錯，會吃虧。因為唯一能把人區分開的，是一個人的內在品質: 善良 誠實 美好 光明 有愛心 同情心 有責任 不自私等等，這些才是你應該擦亮眼睛去尋找的東西。搞不清楚這一點，這輩子只會在一次又一次錯誤的選擇裡蹉跎，孤單寂寥。這是一個阿姨/小姐姐/母親給大家的忠告。 

Nov. 13th

人和人之間的區別: 人之初本性的善惡，當然還有受環境薰陶的眼界高低。從只有國家沒有個體的地方出來的人，當然不具有對個體(包括自己與他人，任何一個獨立的個體) 的最基本理解與尊重。無法將個體從所謂"國家"的概念裡分割出來，不認為個體具有獨立性，擁有基本的權益應該要受到保護，也不認為個體對從 個體到國家各個層面的問題擁有自主決定權。常年教化下，他們無法將"國別""政府""社會組織"這些概念客觀化與平淡化，無法將其與"母親""母愛""親情道義"分割。久而久之，陷入極端與僵化，並且視野極其狹隘，將人處於世的基本道德與禮儀，局限在政府和組織的框架下: 只要非本政府 非本國轄區範圍內，便可不屑置之，認為不配予以最基本的作為人的理解與尊重，并把此無理言行視之為對其政府與國家的忠貞。可知，這與現今文明世界裡的博愛觀背道而馳，與文明世界裡的普世價值相去甚遠。觀念之差，讓人類進化進程顯示出幾百年甚至幾千年的差別。滔滔文明古國落於此，可悲可嘆。

Nov. 31st 

這麼雞血的婆婆!!!🤮🤮 絕不是說中國沒有好男人，但是能找到具有現代文明特徵的普世價值觀的人，懂得包容和博愛，懂得對不同種族不同類型不同政見的人有基本的尊重和理解，是非常不容易的。就算這些都不懂，起碼可以有最基本的開放思維，思想不封閉不禁錮，眼界不狹窄，但都是非常難的事情。錯不在個體，而是環境。稍微一點點開明的男人都難求，再來個這種典型的愛國婆婆，簡直就是生不如死，不如單身一輩子。這也是現在很多中國女人的境遇。[女人向來比男人更容易融合，更容易接受新事物，適應新環境，包容他人，所以在一個封閉的社會裡，往往是男人更封閉，很多女人反而因為所接受的教育與外界影響，開明得多。婆婆因為受家庭地位與權力的誘惑和侵蝕，另當別論。]

Dec. 4th

We are thinking about canceling the UK trip due to the new variant, we are monitoring the situation, waiting for more stats. Meanwhile, my dad was also getting more and more unrest by Wechat articles: "Yes yes don't go anywhere! Cancel everything! Don't even go out! There's this new article written by a Harvard professor today, he said all vaccines are not working anymore, none of the vaccines work anymore! He said there are ABC three kinds of different COVID viruses, he said humankind will most probably forever stay indoors and online business will forever prosper, he said the best way to deal with it is to quarantine, quarantine forever, strict rules!...." 

I was like: "Dad, whatever you can see in the Chinese language in Wechat, is intentionally planted brainwashing content, aim to aid the extreme control your government is exercising on its people, legitimize the inhumane authoritarian measures. Laughing my ass off - Harvard professor my ass, humans will most likely stay indoors forever, humans should be quarantined forever lol lol lol.... only CCP wishes to do so because of the easy control of its people under such 'scary forever pandemic' circumstances." 

Looks like when the holidays are approaching, plus a new variant is emerging, it became a huge opportunity for the propaganda machine to reach a new round of brainwashing goals. Everyone in China is getting scared, for no reason, well, for Americans and all outside of China's people's life actually. The Chinese are scared and worried for us! Worrying the "not quarantined wild land of America and the West", eventually, everyone will catch the virus and die. Only the brutal elimination of individual rights and freedom, the ridiculous Digital Totalitarianism is the Correct way forward as humankind!

Dec. 5th

Ya right, Bilibili people from day one have been massively discriminating against me and violently bullying me, just because my husband is Not White Enough (NWE) or Not White (NW). When my incident happened in 2021 Feb, Bilibili turned into a "Cultural Revolution Virtual Persecution Hub"(CRVPH), I was violently and ruthlessly persecuted in Bilibili. Bilibili has always been a major platform where Pinks gather because the new and younger generations are way more controlled and brainwashed than the grew-up-in-the-80s-&-90s and Bilibili is the youngsters' base.

Nov. 14th

Wow.... I don't know why her videos showing up in my feed, but I can totally feel what she says....in fact, what she experienced is what I experience on daily basis and I believe it's the truth. That's why when I look around, I found the saying about the gods and goddesses in ancient Indian mythologies are the closest to the truth (that I believe it could be). Not because I was born into Hinduism or Buddhism, on the contrary, CCP didn't allow us to have faith, but because I can truly feel it... 

I had several experiences that were just out of my own imagination, 3 incidents before and while I was pregnant with Shiv, 1 incident when pregnant with Aditi, many other incidents that I am not yet able to understand, but I'm trying...

This life on Earth is a very amazing journey, I believe we are all interconnected, if you dive deep, you can feel it too, and we all have some role to play. 

All you need to do is keep your eyes and mind open, listen to your heart, face off the fear, and always, always, remember to love.