There's one question always puzzles me: Did I make my husband like this or did my husband make me like this?
If there is ever a "Husband Contest", I might win with a husband who makes (well, he won't agree with the use of this verb but I like to say it this way) me have sex with other guys, who wants me to be "slutty", who buys me the tiniest pieces of clothing, who gets turned on by me acting "slutty" in the public and in front of crowds, who lives to watch me wear the tiniest skirts, bralettes, thongs, or no thong, that's even better. In fact I have stopped wearing anything down there for all the date night outs with my husband, either dance or dinner or whatever, just because how much thrill it gives to him.
"You know you were the, hands down, hottest girl in the whole club!" "Oh really? Awww, thank you!" "Ya, are you serious? All, I mean, all guys were checking on you, nonstop looking and checking, gazing like crazy. Remember people kept telling how cute you looked? How they liked your outfit? They even came to give me compliments." "Oh REALLY? Why I didn't know?! Of course, I was wasted... People told me I looked cute? Lol!" "Ya, so many of them! And all the guys just kept looking at you... but you were all the time with me, sticking to me, lol, poor guys, still, they couldn't stop looking at you..." "Lol! Were they old or young guys?" "Young guys, 23, 25 years old. I mean the whole club was filled with young people, but you were for sure the hottest, compared to all the girls out there, young or old. I mean look at your tiny weeny mini skirt... You know that nowadays young guys love older women right? But you didn't look old, you were simply cute and nobody would think you were older than them..." "Lol! How drunk I was for not being aware of any of that..." And all in all, it just means I got a wildly crazy husband who enjoys his wife in absurdly short skirts with no panties on, even at the age of 38. Meh, who cares about women's age and behavioral appropriation? We live in nobody's made-up society, giving up 0% power to inconsequential others and allow them to judge us. No fucking way.
The black outfit? Husband ordered from Amazon. That was on top of several rounds of SF premium outlet trips for buying all kinds of sexy tops, bralettes, bikinis, short skirts etc. I guess the skirts he picked from stores were not short enough, so he went on Amazon. It turns him on, my husband stated. The process of picking, trying, and wearing different kinds of "slutty" tiny pieces, turns my husband on.
I didn't like the word "slutty" because it was created or used to demean women. As if being physically and sexually attractive is a one way street, as if it's solely the women's mindful doing to manipulate men into a certain unwanted state, "unwanted" by society. Truth is, summer is hot, I do not need bra support whatsoever, I hate extra layers, I like short and thin clothing so to keep myself cool. Oh you can see my tit-tit through my tiny tops? That's entirely your problem, not mine. I am a million miles away from luring or seducing, my mind stays a mess, the world to me is absolutely a puzzle I can't solve. My parents never told me that my tit-tit were devils so to hide them. If you are attracted or turned on, blame it on your own testosterone, blame it on your girlfriend or wife who couldn't satisfy you, blame it on your mom, your dad, your brothers and sisters, any-who, it's none of my business.
But since my husband loves to call me that in the sweetest and kindest complimentary way, I grew to like the word "slutty" or "slut". It's one degree higher than "sexy", it includes the effect of your appearance and demeanor on your encounters. In a peculiar way, it concludes your power. If a husband loves to describe his own wife in this way, then who the fuck in this world to judge, huh? Now we dirty talk with a comprehensive list of adjectives like this, in the sweetest and kindest way.
Now I think about it, thank Almighty Goddesses and Gods for giving me back my husband. Precisely because of what happened, now my husband has a clearer vision as for what kind of men he doesn't want to become and what kind of life he doesn't want to have. He got a rare chance to pause and reflect, instead of unawarely being taken too far off onto the path of destruction, especially when the business partner is far gone down the winding road.
"You will never allow yourself be turned into a man like that okay? Eaten by greed, lost all sense of happiness but only the thirst for money and power. I'm only 38 but I have seen enough of them, too many of them, walking zombies, soulless empty shells. I merely pity them, even pitying them is a waste of my emotions and time. Pinky promise? Never measure satisfaction and happiness with materials, never Not let go of others' wrong doing driven by their own greed. It's their own karma, their own path Okay, it doesn't affect you. Only what you choose to react to it affects you. So please only live your life the way you want it, always choose Right over Wrong. What's right and what's wrong, I am pretty sure you dang well know. Do not react to others' wrong, no matter how wrong you think it is, they couldn't harm you, only yourself could. You know life is a dream ultimately, whatever life you choose to have, you will have eventually. We are right in front of your eyes, if you choose money and fame over us, you will lose us one day. But now you've seen how men could be so easily swallowed by darkness, I hope you will mindfully avoid that path and stay strong the course with us. Life is a dream, whatever path you choose, you will eventually become, so please choose simple happiness over money and power, you will be granted true happiness of the mundane life with us, your family. And there's nothing more valuable in this world than the trust and love we could provide for you."
So ya, I try all my might to keep my husband enchanted, dazed, dazzled, satisfied, fulfilled, hence he can easily fight off the dark forces with a heart 1000% full. But my question remains: Did I make my husband like this or did my husband make me like this?
