Friday, November 1, 2019
Thursday, October 31, 2019
考古证据显示古印度文明流传至今无断层，雅利安人入侵的理论纯属捏造【多图】
和印度老公聊起排灯节的由来，背后的神话故事以及排灯节与杜迦女神节的关联。原来排灯节和杜迦女神节所依的是完全不同的神话故事，只不过他们在一年中所发生的日期是一样的。为什么会在同一天呢？作为外国人我不是很明白，于是细究进去。这才得知排灯节所庆祝的 Rama主神，选了杜迦女神打战的具体日期作为自己去打战的日期，并且在打战之前向杜迦女神祭拜和祈福，以获得更多力量。和杜迦女神一样，Rama主神也是在第十日战胜。
而且你们知道吗？Rama的神话故事出自公元前七百年的印度巨篇史诗“罗摩耶纳”。在学术界算做是现代印度教（三千年历史）的开端。而杜迦女神的故事，比“罗摩耶纳”早得多，是流传在罗摩耶纳时代的民间神话故事。所以 Rama神才会向杜迦女神祈福，因为杜迦女神是 Rama的主神。现在看看印度民间，什么 Rama神，什么杜迦女神，根本就没有区别，都是他们印度人的神，哪个都要拜拜，这么一代又一代传承了下来。
印度婆家祖村将杜迦女神奉为最重要的神，杜迦女神的祭典是最重要的庆典，这是印度婆家刹帝利这个种姓自古就有的传统。现在这么看来，肯定是早于罗摩耶纳时期就已建立的传统，一直传了至少四五千年，传到了今天。排灯节这个祭拜 Rama神的节日，是近三千年才有的。
这个还不明显吗？古印度和现代印度是没有断层的啊！简直就是同一个体系同一个文明，流传至今。什么雅利安人入侵，扯蛋！就是英国殖民者捏造的理论。古印度河流域的文明，完好的保存到了今天，到顶了就是之间有融合一些其他的文明进来，有了新的发展，但是根子根本没有动到。不信去看看我印度婆家祖村的一年一度的杜迦女神庆典。杜迦女神的存在就是最好的证明。
世界历史与考古届这几年已经正式将雅利安人入侵这个理论列为了伪理论，列为殖民时代的另一个罪恶产物。在西方势力影响下的过去几百年里，对印度教的起源一直都重点强调雅利安人入侵。雅利安人入侵之理论深入每位学者、每本历史书、每个大学与每个课堂。
此理论产生的原因在于割断古印度与现代印度的渊源，制造出现代印度教非本土而产，而是由侵略与征服而生的效果，以削弱印度人自尊，好实现最大程度的侵略、压榨和攫取。能在这样的大环境里做出突破与纠正，因为一来印度逐渐开始脱离三百年殖民的阴影，重拾信心，二来科技发展对考古界产生巨大推动，出现突破。
这些考古证据大多来自于对古印度文明的发掘，越来越多古物显示古印度文明其实是得到了极大的传承。从古印度河流域的古城里发掘出来的古物中，有供祭拜的女神的神像，有希娃（湿婆）神的 Lingam（男性生殖器），有符合希娃神的大部分特征的雕像，有额头抹了红粉的女性雕像（现代印度教已婚女人额头都抹着红粉），另外盘腿打坐的瑜伽冥想姿势也在众多古物里找到。还有这几年新的卫星照片显示，因为气候原因印度河当时改了道，所以沿岸的古城消失。这正证明了古城的消失不是因为有外敌入侵，而是自然原因，那么古印度人肯定是搬迁走了啊，十有八九是南下了。
这些证据已让全世界学术界重新审视，重新定义。只不过中国的印度研究届还没有更新，还停留在“雅利安的入侵者是印度的白人，是印度的高种姓与统治者”这个充满种族歧视与“白人至上”的理论上。
强烈建议各专家学者更新手头的资料。
世界大部分学者已经都认同了印度文明的传承性，否认了雅利安人入侵的理论。现在在等的是对古印度河流域发掘出来的文字进行破译，如果能证明这些文字与吠陀文有关联，则可以证明“出自印度”这个理论。“出自印度”这个假想，简单说就是之后的这些文明，都出自古印度，受到古印度河流域文明的影响。因为雅利安人入侵这个理论最大的依据就是吠陀经文是极具雅利安特征的文字。如果“出自印度”这个理论成立，那么雅利安文明才是受到印度河流域影响的，说明古印度文明曾深入中亚。
即便古印度河流域的文字不能证明与吠陀文有关联，那么吠陀的写成，顶多证明了当时文明的融合，中亚人来印度后将古印度的传统以吠陀文记录了下来。因为古印度文明从来就是口头传播，他们不相信文字记载，印度教那些祭司所念诵的经文，是一代又一代口头流传下来。很多证据已显示，很多口头经文有四五千年的历史。
归根到底，到顶了就是外来人口来了之后以他们自己的文字帮古印度人做了笔头记录。人家印度人该干什么还继续干什么，一坚持转眼六千年，是世界上唯一一个延续至今的古文明。
而且你们知道吗？Rama的神话故事出自公元前七百年的印度巨篇史诗“罗摩耶纳”。在学术界算做是现代印度教（三千年历史）的开端。而杜迦女神的故事，比“罗摩耶纳”早得多，是流传在罗摩耶纳时代的民间神话故事。所以 Rama神才会向杜迦女神祈福，因为杜迦女神是 Rama的主神。现在看看印度民间，什么 Rama神，什么杜迦女神，根本就没有区别，都是他们印度人的神，哪个都要拜拜，这么一代又一代传承了下来。
印度婆家祖村将杜迦女神奉为最重要的神，杜迦女神的祭典是最重要的庆典，这是印度婆家刹帝利这个种姓自古就有的传统。现在这么看来，肯定是早于罗摩耶纳时期就已建立的传统，一直传了至少四五千年，传到了今天。排灯节这个祭拜 Rama神的节日，是近三千年才有的。
这个还不明显吗？古印度和现代印度是没有断层的啊！简直就是同一个体系同一个文明，流传至今。什么雅利安人入侵，扯蛋！就是英国殖民者捏造的理论。古印度河流域的文明，完好的保存到了今天，到顶了就是之间有融合一些其他的文明进来，有了新的发展，但是根子根本没有动到。不信去看看我印度婆家祖村的一年一度的杜迦女神庆典。杜迦女神的存在就是最好的证明。
世界历史与考古届这几年已经正式将雅利安人入侵这个理论列为了伪理论，列为殖民时代的另一个罪恶产物。在西方势力影响下的过去几百年里，对印度教的起源一直都重点强调雅利安人入侵。雅利安人入侵之理论深入每位学者、每本历史书、每个大学与每个课堂。
此理论产生的原因在于割断古印度与现代印度的渊源，制造出现代印度教非本土而产，而是由侵略与征服而生的效果，以削弱印度人自尊，好实现最大程度的侵略、压榨和攫取。能在这样的大环境里做出突破与纠正，因为一来印度逐渐开始脱离三百年殖民的阴影，重拾信心，二来科技发展对考古界产生巨大推动，出现突破。
这些考古证据大多来自于对古印度文明的发掘，越来越多古物显示古印度文明其实是得到了极大的传承。从古印度河流域的古城里发掘出来的古物中，有供祭拜的女神的神像，有希娃（湿婆）神的 Lingam（男性生殖器），有符合希娃神的大部分特征的雕像，有额头抹了红粉的女性雕像（现代印度教已婚女人额头都抹着红粉），另外盘腿打坐的瑜伽冥想姿势也在众多古物里找到。还有这几年新的卫星照片显示，因为气候原因印度河当时改了道，所以沿岸的古城消失。这正证明了古城的消失不是因为有外敌入侵，而是自然原因，那么古印度人肯定是搬迁走了啊，十有八九是南下了。
这些证据已让全世界学术界重新审视，重新定义。只不过中国的印度研究届还没有更新，还停留在“雅利安的入侵者是印度的白人，是印度的高种姓与统治者”这个充满种族歧视与“白人至上”的理论上。
强烈建议各专家学者更新手头的资料。
世界大部分学者已经都认同了印度文明的传承性，否认了雅利安人入侵的理论。现在在等的是对古印度河流域发掘出来的文字进行破译，如果能证明这些文字与吠陀文有关联，则可以证明“出自印度”这个理论。“出自印度”这个假想，简单说就是之后的这些文明，都出自古印度，受到古印度河流域文明的影响。因为雅利安人入侵这个理论最大的依据就是吠陀经文是极具雅利安特征的文字。如果“出自印度”这个理论成立，那么雅利安文明才是受到印度河流域影响的，说明古印度文明曾深入中亚。
即便古印度河流域的文字不能证明与吠陀文有关联，那么吠陀的写成，顶多证明了当时文明的融合，中亚人来印度后将古印度的传统以吠陀文记录了下来。因为古印度文明从来就是口头传播，他们不相信文字记载，印度教那些祭司所念诵的经文，是一代又一代口头流传下来。很多证据已显示，很多口头经文有四五千年的历史。
归根到底，到顶了就是外来人口来了之后以他们自己的文字帮古印度人做了笔头记录。人家印度人该干什么还继续干什么，一坚持转眼六千年，是世界上唯一一个延续至今的古文明。
著名的希娃神打坐像印章 发掘于古印度遗址中
其它的瑜伽打坐造型
告诉你为什么雅利安人入侵的理论就是个伪理论 - 纪录片：印度教的来龙去脉
跳舞的女人 古印度遗址
戴着夸张头饰的女人 古印度遗址
古印度遗址中的首饰
古印度遗址中的陶器
古印度遗址 各种交易中使用的印章
古印度文字目前还没有得到破译
古印度遗址中的王子像
古印度遗址中的女人像
古印度遗址中的人像
Monday, October 28, 2019
Why Aryan Invasion Theory is a total made-up by the British to advance their inhuman colonialism and imperialism?
I know most of you Indians are too cool to care. As an interested outsider, I am keen to get my facts right. Please correct me if I were wrong, and welcome to more discussions.
So this is what I figured out recently: Aryan invasion theory is utterly fabricated by the British to put down Indians, so they are easily subjected to occupation and exploitation. It's one of the evilest shit ever in human history. For more than 300 years, the British put this in the Indians' mind - You are just a bunch of bastards, you lost your original culture (Indus Valley Civilization), what you have as a culture now, comes from some white dudes who are moving herdsmen and rapists.
Aryan Invasion theory was in each every textbook and each every scholar's mind, it was in each every classroom that studied Indian history and in the South Asia department of each every university and college in the world. This theory was injected in all of South Asians' blood, for centuries. But it just took me, a stay-home mom some reading and India trips to figure it out.
What is the Aryan Invasion theory by the way? In short, it's saying that at the decline of the Indus Valley Civilization (2000 BCE), bands of light-skinned Aryans invaded the Indian Subcontinent from Central Asia and conquered the dark-skinned Indus dwellers. And the light-skinned Aryans were the noble ones who designed the religious ritual system and stayed on top of the pyramid, ruling over the dark-skin ones.
By the saying of it, I could feel that the theory was baked up from an extremely racist place. Not to traumatize you all, the large majority of Chinese who think themselves know something about India, they learned the light-skinned higher caste rulers are white people - the European descendent Aryans who came to invade India.
The sad part is most people are unaware, but in their conscious mind, they are situated to white supremacy without knowing. Good work British, this is how you ruled the world and we are still living in the dark.
Five years ago I was named as one of the 100 people who actually really know something about India (out of the 1.3 billion). Five years later, I am not sure how many of the 100 people are still active. And out of the 100 or whatever number it is, I don't think other than me, any scholar ever openly brought up the evilness or wrongness of the Aryan Invasion theory, or they just never cared to question. So ya, the 1.3 billion Chinese are still in the dark, thanks to the British.
So why Indus Valley Civilization is still alive and active among all Indians? How can you say Indian culture is the only surviving ancient civilization that never died? First of all, with more advanced technology, more and more unearthed artifacts from Indus Valley Civilization are undoubtedly proving, today among Hindus, they are doing pretty much the same thing. For example, worshipping to Goddess (female) statue, worshipping of Shiv lingam, lotus posture found in various artifacts, figure that highly resembled lord Shiv, red-colored Sindhu found on the forehead of women's statue. The evidence is only accumulating.
Also, recent satellite photography has shown that between 1900 and 1600 BCE the Indus River changed course, the cities of the Indus Civilization were being abandoned during that period. Most likely the Indus Valley people just migrated to different locations. Furthermore, Aryans' own extensive writings never mention wars or hostilities against peoples who can be positively identified as indigenous to India.
And take a look at the Durga Puja celebration, one of the biggest events in Hindu culture today. The mythology of Durga maa goes way earlier than Ramayana. Lord Rama chose the date of Durga maa's fighting to go on his own fighting, and he prayed to Durga maa to gain strength. To me, it shows the continuance and persistence of the ancient culture.
And as a human being, I don't think we are recognizing and celebrating enough the fact that, whatever the humans in Indus Valley did 6000 years back, we are still doing it today. This is definitely the biggest miracle in today's living world. And I truly believe that to decipher the ancient culture that has survived through all the ups and downs in human history, is the only way to save us in the future.
------
More on Durga Puja
I asked my husband about the story of Diwali, the connection between Diwali and Durga Puja. What I realized is the mythology of Durga maa goes way earlier than lord Rama ("Ramayana" was written at 7th to 4th centuries BCE).
At that time (7th century BC), Durga maa's story must be like lord Rama's story at our time - prominent mythology that came from hundreds and thousands of years back, passed down from generation to generation.
It has to be from a very advanced civilization that had a systematic worshipping mechanism, that civilization must be around for a long long time, and was strong and influential enough to later lead to the creation of Ramayana and Mahabharata. Which is just a development of the same civilization. It has to be Indus Valley Civilization.
This is what I couldn't get out of my mind.
The key to this issue - decipher the ancient words found in Indus Valley, if there is a connection, then it can prove the "out of India" hypothesis. Which will have a stronger and stronger stand in the future, I personally believe.
Even there is no connection between the languages in Indus Valley to Vedic, it doesn't eliminate the fact that the rituals and worshipping system has passed down. The Vedas somehow recorded all of this. By all means, I don't see the sign of "Invasion", maximum "Integration".
I wouldn't at another life, believe the worshipping of Durga maa was imported from Central Asia. lol
Correct me if I were wrong.
So this is what I figured out recently: Aryan invasion theory is utterly fabricated by the British to put down Indians, so they are easily subjected to occupation and exploitation. It's one of the evilest shit ever in human history. For more than 300 years, the British put this in the Indians' mind - You are just a bunch of bastards, you lost your original culture (Indus Valley Civilization), what you have as a culture now, comes from some white dudes who are moving herdsmen and rapists.
Aryan Invasion theory was in each every textbook and each every scholar's mind, it was in each every classroom that studied Indian history and in the South Asia department of each every university and college in the world. This theory was injected in all of South Asians' blood, for centuries. But it just took me, a stay-home mom some reading and India trips to figure it out.
What is the Aryan Invasion theory by the way? In short, it's saying that at the decline of the Indus Valley Civilization (2000 BCE), bands of light-skinned Aryans invaded the Indian Subcontinent from Central Asia and conquered the dark-skinned Indus dwellers. And the light-skinned Aryans were the noble ones who designed the religious ritual system and stayed on top of the pyramid, ruling over the dark-skin ones.
By the saying of it, I could feel that the theory was baked up from an extremely racist place. Not to traumatize you all, the large majority of Chinese who think themselves know something about India, they learned the light-skinned higher caste rulers are white people - the European descendent Aryans who came to invade India.
The sad part is most people are unaware, but in their conscious mind, they are situated to white supremacy without knowing. Good work British, this is how you ruled the world and we are still living in the dark.
Five years ago I was named as one of the 100 people who actually really know something about India (out of the 1.3 billion). Five years later, I am not sure how many of the 100 people are still active. And out of the 100 or whatever number it is, I don't think other than me, any scholar ever openly brought up the evilness or wrongness of the Aryan Invasion theory, or they just never cared to question. So ya, the 1.3 billion Chinese are still in the dark, thanks to the British.
So why Indus Valley Civilization is still alive and active among all Indians? How can you say Indian culture is the only surviving ancient civilization that never died? First of all, with more advanced technology, more and more unearthed artifacts from Indus Valley Civilization are undoubtedly proving, today among Hindus, they are doing pretty much the same thing. For example, worshipping to Goddess (female) statue, worshipping of Shiv lingam, lotus posture found in various artifacts, figure that highly resembled lord Shiv, red-colored Sindhu found on the forehead of women's statue. The evidence is only accumulating.
Also, recent satellite photography has shown that between 1900 and 1600 BCE the Indus River changed course, the cities of the Indus Civilization were being abandoned during that period. Most likely the Indus Valley people just migrated to different locations. Furthermore, Aryans' own extensive writings never mention wars or hostilities against peoples who can be positively identified as indigenous to India.
And take a look at the Durga Puja celebration, one of the biggest events in Hindu culture today. The mythology of Durga maa goes way earlier than Ramayana. Lord Rama chose the date of Durga maa's fighting to go on his own fighting, and he prayed to Durga maa to gain strength. To me, it shows the continuance and persistence of the ancient culture.
And as a human being, I don't think we are recognizing and celebrating enough the fact that, whatever the humans in Indus Valley did 6000 years back, we are still doing it today. This is definitely the biggest miracle in today's living world. And I truly believe that to decipher the ancient culture that has survived through all the ups and downs in human history, is the only way to save us in the future.
------
More on Durga Puja
I asked my husband about the story of Diwali, the connection between Diwali and Durga Puja. What I realized is the mythology of Durga maa goes way earlier than lord Rama ("Ramayana" was written at 7th to 4th centuries BCE).
At that time (7th century BC), Durga maa's story must be like lord Rama's story at our time - prominent mythology that came from hundreds and thousands of years back, passed down from generation to generation.
It has to be from a very advanced civilization that had a systematic worshipping mechanism, that civilization must be around for a long long time, and was strong and influential enough to later lead to the creation of Ramayana and Mahabharata. Which is just a development of the same civilization. It has to be Indus Valley Civilization.
This is what I couldn't get out of my mind.
The key to this issue - decipher the ancient words found in Indus Valley, if there is a connection, then it can prove the "out of India" hypothesis. Which will have a stronger and stronger stand in the future, I personally believe.
Even there is no connection between the languages in Indus Valley to Vedic, it doesn't eliminate the fact that the rituals and worshipping system has passed down. The Vedas somehow recorded all of this. By all means, I don't see the sign of "Invasion", maximum "Integration".
I wouldn't at another life, believe the worshipping of Durga maa was imported from Central Asia. lol
Correct me if I were wrong.
My take on Aryan Invasion Theory
The famous Shiva figure with lotus posture, three faces and surrounded by animals
The other figure found in a seal with lotus posture and three faces
Friday, October 25, 2019
告诉你为什么雅利安人入侵的理论就是个伪理论 - 纪录片：印度教的来龙去脉
这个纪录片可以算是印度教史研究界比较新的理论，非常全面的介绍。
在西方势力影响下的过去几百年里，对印度教的起源一直都重点强调雅利安人入侵。雅利安人入侵之理论深入每位学者、每本历史书、每个大学与每个课堂。
此理论产生的原因在于割断古印度与现代印度的渊源，制造出现代印度教非本土而产，而是由侵略与征服而生的效果，以削弱印度人自尊，使其服从殖民。
能在这样的大环境里做出突破与纠正，因为一来印度逐渐开始脱离三百年殖民的阴影，重拾信心，二来科技发展对考古界产生巨大推动，出现突破。
可以说现代印度教的构架的确是在那个时期成型的(两千到三千年前)，因为当时古印度河流域河流干枯，气候导致城市消亡，人口往南迁移，在文明的记录上出现干扰与断续。
但是越来越有证据显示，从中东南下的雅利安文明只是和古印度文明融合在了一起，相互影响，谁是主导文明无法定论。古印度文明只是迁移，而并不是消亡与中断。
这些证据大多来自于对古印度文明的发掘，越来越多古物显示古印度文明其实是得到了极大的传承，现代印度教与古印度河流域的文明基本就是一家。
印度教就是六千多年历史，延续至今的古文明。
所以，按照今天考古界的最新资料与理论，可以很肯定地告诉你，雅利安人入侵这个理论就是个服从欧洲殖民需要的伪理论。
在中国的印度研究圈子要更新一下材料了。
Thursday, October 10, 2019
记录
“消灭了尖锐的批评声，温和的批评声就变得刺耳了。消灭了温和的批评声，连沉默都变得居心叵测。当沉默也被消灭时，夸赞的不够卖力就是一种犯罪。”
"When criticism is suppressed, mild disapproval becomes too harsh. When mild disapproval is suppressed, keeping silent becomes seemly suspicious. When keeping silence is not an option anymore, praising but not hard enough becomes a crime." - translated on October 10th 2019
Monday, September 16, 2019
Boys love building blocks Girls love dolls? My thoughts on my children's choice on toys
I have something interesting to share with you all. As a lot of our friends know, my son loves to build from the beginning. His favorite toys are building blocks, train tracks, lego, magnet blocks, puzzles, anything that he could build and create. He is always known as the "little engineer". Meanwhile, my daughter rarely showed any interest in any of her brother's building toys. Instead, she picked the soft toys that her brother seldom touched. She treats them as her "babies" and takes care of them.
I had never worried a thing, because my house is not "pink-blue" marked, meaning all of my kids' toys are gender-neutral, our attitude towards them also gender-neutral. My daughter likes to play with her "babies", she is also wild and full of energy, her other favorites are reading, sports and being mischievous, she is emotionally very mature, she is perceiving and expressive.
But when parents compare notes, you sometimes would hear a little disappointment or concern toward girls' choice of toys. "Why she only likes her dolls?" "We are trying to make her play more of the building blocks." "Well, boys are boys, girls are girls." And in my house, a few times we heard comments like "Aditi, stop playing with your 'babies' and build something with your brother!" "How can you guys let her play dolls all day long? I don't want her to grow up to be unintelligent."
Now this is a very interesting aspect. Most of us literally was raised up in patriarchal society, up to today, large of us still live in such mentality and environment. This is where the "males-who-do-engineering > females-who-Only-nurture, engineering > nurturing" mindset rooted. Well, there are obviously other angles to it, for example, the popular campaign of "STEM" or "STEAM" education that promotes Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Mathematics.
As you can foresee, while my daughter is growing out of her infancy, the pressure of making her play with "engineering type of toys" is also growing. I would sit her down and (almost forcefully) teach her puzzles, sometimes on the edge of breaking out, I am holding up my patience but some unhealthy thoughts start racing in my mind "why she is not getting it as fast as her brother?" "When he was at this age, he could do 48 pieces easily, but she can't even figure out 8?"
Before all of this went to a dark and misleading direction, one day something just clicked in my mind as I was recalling why myself loved building wooden blocks when I was little. I was building castles for the "people" to live! Without this emotional element, pure engineering would not excite me.
I believe everybody is triggered by different keywords, while my son's keywords are Train, Plane, Rocket, my daughter's are People, Emotions, Relationship. This absolutely doesn't indicate that she is uninterested for STEM, you just need to guide her by her own keywords.
So I asked her "do you want to build a crib for your baby bunny?" Before we had time to get shocked, she was building crib, highchair and house for her babies, and she was extremely happy and excited that whole night. In the photo, it's the "bunny highchair" she designed and built.
Some of the things I learned from this experience:
1. Parents have no power in choosing the interests of their children, all you need to do is accept it and respect it;
2. For bringing up children, it's really tedious and frustrating sometimes, but there is always a way, you just need to be more patient, get a little deeper and try harder.
I had never worried a thing, because my house is not "pink-blue" marked, meaning all of my kids' toys are gender-neutral, our attitude towards them also gender-neutral. My daughter likes to play with her "babies", she is also wild and full of energy, her other favorites are reading, sports and being mischievous, she is emotionally very mature, she is perceiving and expressive.
But when parents compare notes, you sometimes would hear a little disappointment or concern toward girls' choice of toys. "Why she only likes her dolls?" "We are trying to make her play more of the building blocks." "Well, boys are boys, girls are girls." And in my house, a few times we heard comments like "Aditi, stop playing with your 'babies' and build something with your brother!" "How can you guys let her play dolls all day long? I don't want her to grow up to be unintelligent."
Now this is a very interesting aspect. Most of us literally was raised up in patriarchal society, up to today, large of us still live in such mentality and environment. This is where the "males-who-do-engineering > females-who-Only-nurture, engineering > nurturing" mindset rooted. Well, there are obviously other angles to it, for example, the popular campaign of "STEM" or "STEAM" education that promotes Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Mathematics.
As you can foresee, while my daughter is growing out of her infancy, the pressure of making her play with "engineering type of toys" is also growing. I would sit her down and (almost forcefully) teach her puzzles, sometimes on the edge of breaking out, I am holding up my patience but some unhealthy thoughts start racing in my mind "why she is not getting it as fast as her brother?" "When he was at this age, he could do 48 pieces easily, but she can't even figure out 8?"
Before all of this went to a dark and misleading direction, one day something just clicked in my mind as I was recalling why myself loved building wooden blocks when I was little. I was building castles for the "people" to live! Without this emotional element, pure engineering would not excite me.
I believe everybody is triggered by different keywords, while my son's keywords are Train, Plane, Rocket, my daughter's are People, Emotions, Relationship. This absolutely doesn't indicate that she is uninterested for STEM, you just need to guide her by her own keywords.
So I asked her "do you want to build a crib for your baby bunny?" Before we had time to get shocked, she was building crib, highchair and house for her babies, and she was extremely happy and excited that whole night. In the photo, it's the "bunny highchair" she designed and built.
Some of the things I learned from this experience:
1. Parents have no power in choosing the interests of their children, all you need to do is accept it and respect it;
2. For bringing up children, it's really tedious and frustrating sometimes, but there is always a way, you just need to be more patient, get a little deeper and try harder.
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
Wednesday, July 3, 2019
Internet violence in Bilibili on my videos - Chindian - The Chinese woman who married to an Indian man
This is absolutely what internet violence looks like. And everyday uncountable new comments and violent direct messages are being made to me.
[Bilibili is a video sharing website in China.]
Each of my video, no matter the content is about Indian food, Indian dress, my Indian family or India trips, in the comment section the replies are filled with brutal cursings like "may you gang-raped a thousand times", "may you and your family die a tragic death" etc. 50% of the comments are composed with short cursings like "get the f* out of Bilibili", "not dead yet? still here?" A large number of comments would use a dog or a pig or it (pronoun of an animal) when referring to me.
80% of them urge each other to officially Report my videos and account, just because my videos are talking about India in a positive but not demeaning way. And they would tag the official account of "Communist Youth League of China", wishing CYLC would give pressure to Bilibili so to delete my account.
Almost none of them stay within facts or topics, but directly aiming for personal attacks, my accent, my appearance, my makeup, my facial expressions, my body shape, my education background, my hometown, the logic of my mind wouldn't matter at all.
Because my accent is similar to Taiwanese accent, a huge amount of the comments make a discriminating gesture to my assumed-Taiwanese identity. My accent is how my family and the people in my area speak, to the majority of users who leave comments, if you can't pronounce the so-called "standard" Beijing or northern China mandarin, you don't know Chinese at all, you don't know Chinese culture at all and you are not a Chinese at all.
From the very beginning (around Feburary 2019) of my Bilibili account usage, the users there started to accuse me "deleting comments which give blessings" so to intentionally show in Youtube, for financial benefit. I have never even had time to take a look. Now it's July, my parents are here to help me take care of my two kid, I can deal with this issue at last.
I feel that there is research value to record each of my "popular" videos in Bilibili and upload the recording in somewhere safe (Youtube e.g.), meaning my account won't be "disappeared" by other forces other than myself.
It's history, it's evidence.
To reply to those comments about me "deleting blessing comments":
1. Only the same type of people who leave nasty, offensive, ignorant and eye-opening comments in Bilibili are in Youtube watching my recording of their own nasty, offensive, ignorant and eye-opening comments;
2. Bilibili is infamous for being intolerant and filthy nowadays, uncountable accounts have closed down themselves due to the unbearable internet violence and personal attacks;
3. I never delete nor block any comment or users, that's just my online policy to myself. If I ever have the time to do such things, why do I delete blessing comments? Am I nuts? lol...
4. In all the screen recordings of my videos in Bilibili, there is a small percentage (around 3%?) which is condemning the act of internet violence (on me). In the recordings, you can see me "Like" the comments. If I have deleted them, why they are there? lol...
Why don't I just delete my account in Bilibili?
First of all, I am not a person who easily back down. Threatening works on me way less effective than treating me with respect;
Secondly, Bilibili provides an external url that allows search engines like Google or Baidu to display the video in their search result. Why not?
Until they delete my account forcefully (which could happen any second), I will keep using this platform to post videos.
Here I am posting four recordings. First three are complete recordings of three "popular" videos. The fourth one is a compilation of positive feedbacks. This type of comments are rounded up to around 3%, vs 97% violent comments, it includes some neutral feedback, some support and some condemning on internet violence.
More you can find in my Youtube account Momo Singh, under the Playlist "Internet Violence" .
[Bilibili is a video sharing website in China.]
Each of my video, no matter the content is about Indian food, Indian dress, my Indian family or India trips, in the comment section the replies are filled with brutal cursings like "may you gang-raped a thousand times", "may you and your family die a tragic death" etc. 50% of the comments are composed with short cursings like "get the f* out of Bilibili", "not dead yet? still here?" A large number of comments would use a dog or a pig or it (pronoun of an animal) when referring to me.
80% of them urge each other to officially Report my videos and account, just because my videos are talking about India in a positive but not demeaning way. And they would tag the official account of "Communist Youth League of China", wishing CYLC would give pressure to Bilibili so to delete my account.
Almost none of them stay within facts or topics, but directly aiming for personal attacks, my accent, my appearance, my makeup, my facial expressions, my body shape, my education background, my hometown, the logic of my mind wouldn't matter at all.
Because my accent is similar to Taiwanese accent, a huge amount of the comments make a discriminating gesture to my assumed-Taiwanese identity. My accent is how my family and the people in my area speak, to the majority of users who leave comments, if you can't pronounce the so-called "standard" Beijing or northern China mandarin, you don't know Chinese at all, you don't know Chinese culture at all and you are not a Chinese at all.
From the very beginning (around Feburary 2019) of my Bilibili account usage, the users there started to accuse me "deleting comments which give blessings" so to intentionally show in Youtube, for financial benefit. I have never even had time to take a look. Now it's July, my parents are here to help me take care of my two kid, I can deal with this issue at last.
I feel that there is research value to record each of my "popular" videos in Bilibili and upload the recording in somewhere safe (Youtube e.g.), meaning my account won't be "disappeared" by other forces other than myself.
It's history, it's evidence.
To reply to those comments about me "deleting blessing comments":
1. Only the same type of people who leave nasty, offensive, ignorant and eye-opening comments in Bilibili are in Youtube watching my recording of their own nasty, offensive, ignorant and eye-opening comments;
2. Bilibili is infamous for being intolerant and filthy nowadays, uncountable accounts have closed down themselves due to the unbearable internet violence and personal attacks;
3. I never delete nor block any comment or users, that's just my online policy to myself. If I ever have the time to do such things, why do I delete blessing comments? Am I nuts? lol...
4. In all the screen recordings of my videos in Bilibili, there is a small percentage (around 3%?) which is condemning the act of internet violence (on me). In the recordings, you can see me "Like" the comments. If I have deleted them, why they are there? lol...
Why don't I just delete my account in Bilibili?
First of all, I am not a person who easily back down. Threatening works on me way less effective than treating me with respect;
Secondly, Bilibili provides an external url that allows search engines like Google or Baidu to display the video in their search result. Why not?
Until they delete my account forcefully (which could happen any second), I will keep using this platform to post videos.
Here I am posting four recordings. First three are complete recordings of three "popular" videos. The fourth one is a compilation of positive feedbacks. This type of comments are rounded up to around 3%, vs 97% violent comments, it includes some neutral feedback, some support and some condemning on internet violence.
More you can find in my Youtube account Momo Singh, under the Playlist "Internet Violence" .
Some more words
My internet violence experience started from a decade ago in 2009, when I accidentally posted some photos with Raj and a short description. It created a huge wave of violent responses on me throughout China, only because of my choice.
A decade now, from establishing my blog to keep exploring new ways of expressing, from going through ups and downs to achieve extreme calmness. Thanks to this experience online, now I am as tough as a diamond.
No matter what you do, there will always be people who throw rocks at you, who spit at you. Simply because they are lacking basic respect and they don't have goals in life.
So keep your calm and keep doing the right things. Because in the end, none of those noises ever matters or hardly existed. But only the people you helped pull up, with your positivity and love.
A decade now, from establishing my blog to keep exploring new ways of expressing, from going through ups and downs to achieve extreme calmness. Thanks to this experience online, now I am as tough as a diamond.
No matter what you do, there will always be people who throw rocks at you, who spit at you. Simply because they are lacking basic respect and they don't have goals in life.
So keep your calm and keep doing the right things. Because in the end, none of those noises ever matters or hardly existed. But only the people you helped pull up, with your positivity and love.
Sunday, June 23, 2019
My view on feminism
I'm responding to my friends' comments on the book I am reading about bringing up girls, one section that the author talks about the difference on brain function between boys and girls. First of all it's great to see the discussion on feminism in India, thank you for updating me the information. I have my own stand on this issue and now I feel the the need to go through it in English too. Yes I indeed quite often express and discuss this topic in my Chinese social media.
1. While I am agreeing on the existence of different brain function on boys and girls(as the book illustrates), I think rather easily people take it to a different degree, especially people coming from a patriarchal background. For example, words such as "wild" and "naughty" are not to discribe brain functions but character and personality. Although boy brains and girl brains are wired differently (in most cases), personality exists without a pattern. Take my kids for example, my boy is truly a boy-like "engineer brain", and my girl excels in sensing emotions and expressing, they play different kinds of toys without any influence from outside. Meanwhile my daughter is more naughty and more wild than my boy.
2. From the reading I kind of understood (some schools of) feminism in nowadays India is trying to eliminate the difference between men and women, physical and mentally. In my opinion, admit the difference is not unfeminist, but only scoring the difference unequally is unfeminist.
For example, when I say "my girl is such a girl, she is loving and caring, she plays doll all day long." As most of us who grew up in a patriarchal society, our brian automatically gives a conclusion: "She is a mother material." But that's absolutely not in my mind. I only see the difference of brain function in my two kids but I do NOT think one will neccesarily "achieve higher" than another ("achieve higher" as what the society thinks - higher salary and higher position, personally I don't think there is another job more important than mother).
Why? Because if a brain is wired to feel deeper and wider emotions, to better master the language and is more expressive. What does this indicates? This brain will be suitable to be a future diplomat, politician, thinker, philosopher, leader, manager, negotiator, communicator, famous writer or well-known comedian. But why in such women-brain-suitable fields, rarely you see successful women? Because they are told "NOT TO DO" from a young age. And all of this is not the result of the difference in men and women brains, but a result of Patrilineality that could be traced back to the beginning of human society. We are still living in that after-world.
3. Aren't men and women tremendously different? Obviously, because our hormones are totally different and it affects almost everything. Men can separate body and emotions, women just can't. Men can have their brain blank as a paper for the longest time, women's brain never stops, not even in their sleep. Women have to accept the reality that a "hormone bomb" is coming each every month to mess up their emotions and feelings, men have no idea whatsoever.
4. As a feminist, I believe it is meaningless to ask women to match up to men, instead women should live up to their own potentials. Because we both are equally powerful creatures with our differences. Actually most fields are suitable for both women brain and men brain, the only difference is determination, ambition, hardwork and belief.
I hope I have expressed myself clearly with where I stand as a feminist and I welcome your further discussions.
#feminist #feminism
Monday, May 13, 2019
About discipline, bullying and love to your children
This is what happened today in my daughter's gymnastics class: at first, this boy who was taller suddenly climbed on my daughter who just had a flip on the mat and lying down face up. I didn't react, he was on top of her for around 10 seconds, I waited out. It was just a children's play to me. My daughter complained that her leg got a little hurt, I said: "it's ok, he was just playing with you, giving you a hug."
20 minutes later my daughter was walking on the balance beam by herself, the same boy suddenly came from behind and pushed her hard, knocked her down to the ground. I raised my voice on him:"NO!" "No pushing!""Please say sorry to her."
And I realized it later that the boy actually identified my daughter as a "weak" one because when he did his first try of bullying, I didn't react. My daughter is tough, she also didn't care much. Even when she was knocked down from the balance beam, she didn't react a bit, only watching my response.
And yes, I have zero tolerance for bullying, because I face severe bullying and personal attack constantly. Also when I was 13 I was sexually assaulted/harassed/bullied, that affected me more than a decade of my young adulthood. So if you crossed my line, I will make sure my words are one of the strongest you will hear for a while.
Especially those budding bulliers, people need to have your firm "No"s for them to hear. For the ones their parents don't give enough disciplines at home, you are actually helping them by letting them know there are "No"s in this world. The earlier they realize the wrongs in their behavior, the less chance they end up in bad places.
And why I have to say "No" and demand a "sorry" from him right then and there? It is for the bullied side to see. So they know there is justice in the world. For kids this young, it is helping them to understand what is right and what is wrong. If nobody is there to serve justice, they will be confused. And if this frequently happens, they wouldn't be able to tell wrong from right.
There is an old Chinese saying "in the behavior of a three-year-old kid, you can see a picture of his/her adulthood."(三岁看长) Which means -- YOU GOT TO discipline your kids from at least 2-year-old. 2 to 6 years is the window, earlier than 2, he/she wouldn't understand, older than 6, you don't have the power anymore. The foundation of personality is mature at 6 and will last for a lifetime.
Teach them to respect, to share, to love, to have self-control, to conquer his/her selfishness. Teach them what is wrong and what is right, be firm with where your stand, no is no.
Each kid is beautiful but deep down in human nature if there was too much indulgence of unwatched love, greed and selfishness will grow with no time, and that will surely lead to the kid's unhappiness at the end.
20 minutes later my daughter was walking on the balance beam by herself, the same boy suddenly came from behind and pushed her hard, knocked her down to the ground. I raised my voice on him:"NO!" "No pushing!""Please say sorry to her."
And I realized it later that the boy actually identified my daughter as a "weak" one because when he did his first try of bullying, I didn't react. My daughter is tough, she also didn't care much. Even when she was knocked down from the balance beam, she didn't react a bit, only watching my response.
And yes, I have zero tolerance for bullying, because I face severe bullying and personal attack constantly. Also when I was 13 I was sexually assaulted/harassed/bullied, that affected me more than a decade of my young adulthood. So if you crossed my line, I will make sure my words are one of the strongest you will hear for a while.
Especially those budding bulliers, people need to have your firm "No"s for them to hear. For the ones their parents don't give enough disciplines at home, you are actually helping them by letting them know there are "No"s in this world. The earlier they realize the wrongs in their behavior, the less chance they end up in bad places.
And why I have to say "No" and demand a "sorry" from him right then and there? It is for the bullied side to see. So they know there is justice in the world. For kids this young, it is helping them to understand what is right and what is wrong. If nobody is there to serve justice, they will be confused. And if this frequently happens, they wouldn't be able to tell wrong from right.
There is an old Chinese saying "in the behavior of a three-year-old kid, you can see a picture of his/her adulthood."(三岁看长) Which means -- YOU GOT TO discipline your kids from at least 2-year-old. 2 to 6 years is the window, earlier than 2, he/she wouldn't understand, older than 6, you don't have the power anymore. The foundation of personality is mature at 6 and will last for a lifetime.
Teach them to respect, to share, to love, to have self-control, to conquer his/her selfishness. Teach them what is wrong and what is right, be firm with where your stand, no is no.
Each kid is beautiful but deep down in human nature if there was too much indulgence of unwatched love, greed and selfishness will grow with no time, and that will surely lead to the kid's unhappiness at the end.
Thursday, January 31, 2019
It's not easy for Indo-Chinese Couples? 嫁给印度人之来自中国的印度媳妇的心得
From Indians-In-China IICofficial 2018-08-14
"Raj and I fell in love within a few days after meeting each other at "Coffee Hour" at the beginning of our summer session in 2008. When we decided to get married in the year 2009, we didn't tell our parents because both sides wouldn't agree, and in fact, they were against our union at that time. So we got married at the Civic Center of San Francisco. After several years we finally gained approval from our families. In January 2013 my parents hosted a Chinese wedding ceremony for us in my hometown, a remote place in the mountain area in Fu Jian province. “
拉斯和我在2008年夏季会议开始时在”咖啡时刻“相遇后的几天内坠入爱河。当我们决定在2009年结婚时，我们没有告诉我们的父母，因为双方父母都是不同意的。所以我们在旧金山市政中心结婚。几年后我们终于得到了家人的认可。2013年1月，我的父母为我们举办了一个中国的婚礼仪式，我的家乡福建省山区偏远的地方。
As for Raj's family, they are going to host the Indian wedding in December 2013 in their hometown in east India. In Chinese and Indian society, wedding is one of the biggest social events, it's not only the bonding of two people, but more a family event. And since both of our parents need to host the wedding among their own social circles, there should be two ceremonies. So this is why we already had a Chinese wedding at the beginning of the year, and we are going to have an Indian wedding at the end of the year..."
至于Raj的家人，他们将于2013年12月在印度东部的家乡举办印度婚礼。在中国和印度社会，婚礼是最大的社交活动之一，它不仅是两个人的联系，更是一个家庭活动。由于我们的父母都需要在他们自己的社交圈中举办婚礼，所以应该有两个仪式。所以这就是为什么我们年初已经举办过中式婚礼，我们将在年底举办一场印度婚礼......“
Growing up, Zheng Momo from Guangze county, Fujian Province never imagined that she would marry a man from India, a nation that is geographically close China but still remains a mystery to most of China's population.
我来自福建省光泽县的郑墨沫从未想到她会嫁给一个来自印度的男人，印度是一个地理位置接近中国的国家，但对中国大多数人口来说仍然是一个谜。
She and Raj Shekhar Singh, from Bokaro in India, have been married for 9 years, and live in the US.
来自印度Bokaro的她和Raj Shekhar Singh已经结婚9年了，住在美国。
"What attracts me to him is his rich spiritual world, his respect for women and his mercy to people and animals," Zheng said. “
吸引我的是他丰富的精神世界，他对女性的尊重以及对人和动物的怜悯，”郑说。
"We went through a lot of barriers to be with each other like most other people in China-India cross-cultural relationships. We really cherish what we have today."
“与中印跨文化关系中的大多数其他人一样，我们遇到了很多障碍。我们非常珍惜今天的生活。”
The number of China-India cross-cultural relationships and marriages has increased in recent years because of the more frequent economic and cultural exchanges between the two countries, according to Zheng's observations.
根据郑的观察，由于两国经济和文化交流日益频繁，近年来中印跨文化关系和婚姻的数量有所增加。
Hu Zhiyong, a research fellow at the Institute of International Relations of the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, also observed the same trend.
上海社会科学院国际关系研究所研究员胡志勇也观察到了同样的趋势。
"As the internationalization got deeper and the economic and trade relationships between China and Southeast Asian countries develop, China-India cross-cultural relationships and marriages will increase," Hu said.
胡说：“随着国际化进程的加深，中国与东南亚国家经贸关系的发展，中印跨文化关系和婚姻将会增加。”
"Under the influence of the Belt and Road initiative, more Chinese are visiting and working in Southeast Asian countries. It also provides opportunities for Indians and Chinese to learn about each other," Hu said.
“在”一带一路“倡议的影响下，更多的中国人正在东南亚国家访问和工作。这也为印度人和中国人提供了相互了解的机会，”胡说。
Zheng and her husband Raj met in 2008 in the US while they were participating in an academic exchange program. They fell in love quickly and a year later, they got married.
郑和她的丈夫Raj在2008年在美国参加了学术交流计划。他们很快坠入爱河，一年后，他们结婚了。
Ever since they met, Zheng has been observing the trend of China-India cross-cultural relationships and marriages. Back in 2008, there was no information about these types of relationships online. "But now when you search on the internet, you can always find new stories about China-India cross-cultural relationships," Zheng said.
自从他们见面以来，郑一直在观察中印跨文化关系和婚姻的趋势。早在2008年，就没有关于这些类型的在线关系的信息。 “但现在当你在互联网上搜索时，你总能找到关于中印跨文化关系的新故事，”郑说。
Zheng is a member of a WeChat group made up of people in China-India cross-cultural relationships and marriages.
郑是一个由中印跨文化关系和婚姻组成的微信群组成员。
"This group alone has 200 such couples," Zheng said.
“仅此一组就有200对这样的夫妻，”郑说。
Most of the relationships consist of an Indian man and a Chinese woman. According to Zheng, there is only one couple in the WeChat group where the woman is Indian and the man is Chinese. Most of the couples in the group live in China; a small percentage of them live in other more developed countries like the US.
大多数关系由印度男人和中国女人组成。据郑先生介绍，微信组中只有一对夫妇是印度人妻子，男人是中国人。这群人中的大多数夫妻都住在中国;其中一小部分人生活在美国等其他较发达的国家。
"This shows the inequality of men and women in India. Men have more opportunities to get an education, go into the world and be free to choose their own marriages. Not many women in India have these opportunities," she said.
“这显示了印度男女的不平等。男性有更多的机会接受教育，进入世界，可以自由选择自己的婚姻。印度没有多少女性有这些机会，”她说。
The increasing number of such couples indicates the more frequent exchanges between the two countries.
越来越多的这种夫妇表明两国之间的交流越来越频繁。
"More Indians are coming to cities in China like Guangzhou, Guangdong Province and Ningbo, Zhejiang Province to conduct business in trade. Once they are here, they meet the love of their life in China," Zheng said.
“越来越多的印度人来到中国的城市，如广州，广东省和宁波，浙江省开展贸易业务。一旦他们来到这里，他们就会遇到爱的人，”郑说。
Besides the business community, there is also more education exchange between China and India. From this education exchange process, more China-India cross-cultural relationships and marriages have emerged.
除了商业社区，中国和印度之间的教育交流也更多。从这种教育交流过程中，出现了更多的中印跨文化关系和婚姻。
According to a report by the People's Daily in January, there were 18,171 Indian students in China in 2016, which surpassed the number of Indian students in the UK, a country that has been very attractive to Indian students.
据“人民日报”1月报道，2016年中国有18,171名印度学生，超过了英国的印度学生人数，这个国家对印度学生非常有吸引力。
According to the same report, most Indian students choose to study medical science majors, engineering and computer sciences in China because of the lower cost and better job prospects.
根据同一份报告，由于成本较低，就业前景较好，大多数印度学生选择在中国学习医学专业，工程学和计算机科学。
According to a Global Times report in August 2017, the number of Chinese students in India has also increased in recent years. Chinese students are attracted by India's cost-effective higher-level education and English-language environment.
根据2017年8月的环球时报报道，近年来印度的中国学生人数也有所增加。印度具有成本效益的高等教育和英语环境吸引了中国学生。
Dheeraj is a 22-year-old medical student who currently studies at Peking University, and he met his Chinese girlfriend a year ago on campus.
Dheeraj是一名22岁的医学院学生，目前在北京大学学习，一年前他在校园里遇到了他的中国女友。
"Most Chinese girls are well educated, independent and have an open mind to people from other cultures. Besides that, their personality is very gentle, and they care about their family," Dheeraj said, adding that many of his Indian friends in China want to find a Chinese partner.
“大多数中国女孩都受过良好的教育，独立，对来自其他文化的人有开放的心态。除此之外，他们的性格非常温和，他们关心他们的家庭，”Dheeraj说，并补充说他在中国的许多印度朋友都想要找一个中国伴侣。
Besides the business and student community, many Chinese and Indians meet each other and fall in love in a third country while they are traveling or studying abroad like Zheng and her husband Raj did.
除了商业和学生社区之外，许多中国人和印度人在旅行或出国留学期间相遇并在第三国坠入爱河。
Yankee Chen, who runs a coffee shop in Beijing, met her Indian boyfriend in Malaysia while she was traveling with her friend.
在北京经营一家咖啡店的Yankee Chen在与她的朋友一起旅行时遇到了她在马来西亚的印度男友。
"I fell in love the first time I laid eyes on him, and we established a relationship the day after we met. Five years later, we are still together," Yankee Chen said. "Most of my friends don't understand why I insist on dating an Indian, whom they presume are uneducated, poor, unsanitary and have no respect for women. It's not easy."
“我第一次看到他时就坠入爱河，在我们见面后的第二天就建立了关系。五年后，我们还在一起，”Yankee Chen说。 “我的大多数朋友都不明白为什么我坚持与印度人约会，他们认为印度人没有受过教育，贫穷，不卫生，不尊重女性。这并不容易。”
Barriers to surmount 超越的障碍
To Zheng and her husband Raj, their road together is a bumpy one, and they had to go through many obstacles to be together, mainly from their families.
对于郑和她的丈夫拉吉来说，他们的道路是一个颠簸的道路，他们必须经历许多障碍才能在一起，主要来自他们的家人。
When Zheng first announced to her parents that she was dating a guy from India and they were going to get married, her mother cried for an entire year.
当郑首次向她的父母说她正在和一个来自印度的男人谈恋爱准备要结婚，她的母亲哭了整整一年。
"They didn't even know where India was, and they just assumed that people from India are poor, could not provide a good life for me, are superstitious and abuse women," Zheng said.
“他们甚至不知道印度在哪里，他们只是觉得印度的人贫穷，无法为我提供好生活，迷信和虐待女性，”郑说。
"They came to those conclusions based on the pieces of information from the internet where the media only report extreme cases as a hype to attract audiences."
“他们根据来自互联网的信息得出了这些结论，媒体只报道极端情况作为吸引观众的炒作。” "My family threatened to disown me if I insisted on being with him," Zheng recalled.
“如果我坚持和他在一起，我的家人就会威胁和我断绝关系，”郑回忆说。
While Zheng was under pressure from her own parents, her boyfriend Raj was under even more pressure from his parents. Raj's mother also cried every day and worried about their relationship.
虽然郑女士受到了自己父母的压力，但她的男友拉吉则受到父母的压力。拉吉的母亲每天都哭着担心他们的关系。
Arranged marriage is still the ideal choice for most Indian families. The older generations still believe that only by arranged marriage can their children have a stable marriage and that free love is a bad thing, according to Zheng, especially since Raj is from a place that tends to be closed-up to foreign cultures, and Raj is the first person in his hometown to marry a foreign woman that he knows of.
对于大多数印度家庭来说，安排婚姻仍然是理想的选择。据郑说，老一辈人仍然认为只有通过安排婚姻才能使他们的孩子拥有稳定的婚姻，而自由恋爱是一件坏事，特别是像拉吉来自一个往往与外国文化封闭的地方，而拉吉他是家乡第一个娶了外国女人的人。
"Free love is frowned upon, not to mention finding a foreign woman, that's a catastrophe," Zheng said.
“自由的爱是不受欢迎的，更不用说寻找一个外国女人，这简直是一场灾难，”郑说。
This is due to the stereotypes the older generation has for foreign women, according to Zheng.
郑说，这是由于老一代对外国女性的刻板印象。
The literacy rate and the internet penetration rate are not high in that time, so their perception of the outside world is limited, according to Zheng.
郑说，印度的识字率和互联网普及率并不高，因此他们对外界的看法有限。
India went through a rather closed period, and the media created some stereotyped images of foreign women, like in the popular Indian movie Purab Aur Paschim (1970), the Western women in the movie are depicted behaving rather loosely and they trick the kind, pious Indian boys, according to Zheng.
印度经历了一个相当封闭的时期，媒体创造了一些外国女性的刻板印象，就像流行的印度电影Purab Aur Paschim（1970）一样，电影中的西方女性被描绘成表现得相当开放，他们欺骗那种善良，虔诚的印度男孩。
"Under those circumstances, it is no wonder that many older Indians are defensive about foreign women. The obstacles we went through are mainly because of the misunderstandings between people from the two countries," Zheng said.
“在这种情况下，难怪许多印度老年人对外国女性采取防御措施。我们遇到的障碍主要是因为两国人民之间的误解，”郑说。
Fortunately, their love for each other is determined. Zheng and Raj eloped in the US, where Raj was doing his doctorate degree. Later, due to the constant persuasion and the confirmation that they are nothing like the stereotyped images, their parents finally accepted their marriage.
幸运的是，他们对彼此的爱是决定的。郑和拉在美国私奔，Raj正在那里攻读博士学位。后来，由于不断的说服和确认他们不像陈规定型的形象，他们的父母终于接受了他们的婚姻。
The many similarities 有很多相似之处
With nine years of marriage and two children, Zheng said despite the misunderstandings and the stereotyped images, people from China and India actually have a lot in common in terms of the relationship in a marriage and the strong attachment and feelings to their families.
郑女士说，在结婚九年和两个孩子的情况下，尽管存在误解和刻板印象，但中国和印度人在婚姻关系和对家庭的强烈依恋和感情方面确实有很多共同之处。
The family culture in China and India are both ones where the parents sacrifice everything to support and take care of their children, and the children take care of their parents when they are old, Zheng said.
郑说，中国和印度的家庭文化都是父母牺牲一切来支持和照顾子女的家庭文化，孩子们在他们年老时照顾父母。
Momo writes for her Mother-In-Law on Facebook:
For the past 40 days, every morning my mother-in-law wakes up at 6am to cook for the whole family, then she feeds, changes diaper, plays with the kids. In the library events we attend almost everyday, she is always jumping, singing and dancing with the kids, full of interests and energy.
Every night after we feed, shower, and make the kids sleep, my mother-in-law would clean up the whole kitchen and living space. Most of the time at 11pm you would find her folding the mountains of clothes of the family, almost dosing off.
The day before she flying back to India, she was crying and telling me:"Momo I love you very much." Do you know, Maa, I cherish each every minute of the quality time we spent with you.
Because you show me what is the true meaning of selfless love. In this selfish world, we see people getting dragged into their little world, we see them getting smaller and smaller. They fight over small personal lost and gain, while you are breaking your back, quietly washing the millions of dishes, packing the zilliions of toys, mopping the floor of the whole house.
You are still capable of giving, giving your whole heart.
You are still capable of sacrificing, sacrificing without caring about the rewards.
You are still ashamed of taking, no matter how tough of the life you had lived.
You still respect each every being you encoutered, forgives each every wrong doing and you teach us to do the same.
You are stronger than most of the people I've known. Because the ability of respect and forgive, the ability to achieve real inner peace, only happens with really strong minds.
Every day I am feeling unbelievably lucky for my kids, because my mother has the exact same quality as my mother-in-law.
I wish my kids will grow up to cherish their grandmothers, and to be like their grandmothers
"Couples in both countries are dependent on each other. They put their money together and make important decisions together," Zheng said.
“这两个国家的夫妻互相依赖。他们把钱放在一起，共同做出重要决定，”郑说。
"We have close relationships with our close relatives; we would live close by and take care of each other. This familial culture is different from Western countries. I think because of the similar familial cultures, Raj and I get along even better," Zheng said.
“我们与近亲有着密切的关系;我们会住在附近并互相照顾。这种家庭文化与西方国家不同。我认为，由于相似的家庭文化，拉吉和我相处得更好，”郑说过。
Besides, Zheng believes that she has learned a lot from her Indian husband in terms of the peaceful and rich spiritual world, his philosophical worldview and his love for all living things.
此外，郑认为，她在和平和丰富的精神世界，他的哲学世界观和对所有生物的热爱方面，从她的印度丈夫那里学到了很多东西。
"I believe that with the more frequent exchanges between the two countries, people from China and India will get deeper, and we will see more cross-cultural relationships and marriages between the two countries," Zheng said.
“我相信，随着两国交流的频繁发展，来自中国和印度的人们将会更加深入，我们将看到两国之间更多的跨文化关系和婚姻，”郑说。
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