This is what happened today in my daughter's gymnastics class: at first, this boy who was taller suddenly climbed on my daughter who just had a flip on the mat and lying down face up. I didn't react, he was on top of her for around 10 seconds, I waited out. It was just a children's play to me. My daughter complained that her leg got a little hurt, I said: "it's ok, he was just playing with you, giving you a hug."
20 minutes later my daughter was walking on the balance beam by herself, the same boy suddenly came from behind and pushed her hard, knocked her down to the ground. I raised my voice on him:"NO!" "No pushing!""Please say sorry to her."
And I realized it later that the boy actually identified my daughter as a "weak" one because when he did his first try of bullying, I didn't react. My daughter is tough, she also didn't care much. Even when she was knocked down from the balance beam, she didn't react a bit, only watching my response.
And yes, I have zero tolerance for bullying, because I face severe bullying and personal attack constantly. Also when I was 13 I was sexually assaulted/harassed/bullied, that affected me more than a decade of my young adulthood. So if you crossed my line, I will make sure my words are one of the strongest you will hear for a while.
Especially those budding bulliers, people need to have your firm "No"s for them to hear. For the ones their parents don't give enough disciplines at home, you are actually helping them by letting them know there are "No"s in this world. The earlier they realize the wrongs in their behavior, the less chance they end up in bad places.
And why I have to say "No" and demand a "sorry" from him right then and there? It is for the bullied side to see. So they know there is justice in the world. For kids this young, it is helping them to understand what is right and what is wrong. If nobody is there to serve justice, they will be confused. And if this frequently happens, they wouldn't be able to tell wrong from right.
There is an old Chinese saying "in the behavior of a three-year-old kid, you can see a picture of his/her adulthood."(三岁看长) Which means -- YOU GOT TO discipline your kids from at least 2-year-old. 2 to 6 years is the window, earlier than 2, he/she wouldn't understand, older than 6, you don't have the power anymore. The foundation of personality is mature at 6 and will last for a lifetime.
Teach them to respect, to share, to love, to have self-control, to conquer his/her selfishness. Teach them what is wrong and what is right, be firm with where your stand, no is no.
Each kid is beautiful but deep down in human nature if there was too much indulgence of unwatched love, greed and selfishness will grow with no time, and that will surely lead to the kid's unhappiness at the end.
20 minutes later my daughter was walking on the balance beam by herself, the same boy suddenly came from behind and pushed her hard, knocked her down to the ground. I raised my voice on him:"NO!" "No pushing!""Please say sorry to her."
And I realized it later that the boy actually identified my daughter as a "weak" one because when he did his first try of bullying, I didn't react. My daughter is tough, she also didn't care much. Even when she was knocked down from the balance beam, she didn't react a bit, only watching my response.
And yes, I have zero tolerance for bullying, because I face severe bullying and personal attack constantly. Also when I was 13 I was sexually assaulted/harassed/bullied, that affected me more than a decade of my young adulthood. So if you crossed my line, I will make sure my words are one of the strongest you will hear for a while.
Especially those budding bulliers, people need to have your firm "No"s for them to hear. For the ones their parents don't give enough disciplines at home, you are actually helping them by letting them know there are "No"s in this world. The earlier they realize the wrongs in their behavior, the less chance they end up in bad places.
And why I have to say "No" and demand a "sorry" from him right then and there? It is for the bullied side to see. So they know there is justice in the world. For kids this young, it is helping them to understand what is right and what is wrong. If nobody is there to serve justice, they will be confused. And if this frequently happens, they wouldn't be able to tell wrong from right.
There is an old Chinese saying "in the behavior of a three-year-old kid, you can see a picture of his/her adulthood."(三岁看长) Which means -- YOU GOT TO discipline your kids from at least 2-year-old. 2 to 6 years is the window, earlier than 2, he/she wouldn't understand, older than 6, you don't have the power anymore. The foundation of personality is mature at 6 and will last for a lifetime.
Teach them to respect, to share, to love, to have self-control, to conquer his/her selfishness. Teach them what is wrong and what is right, be firm with where your stand, no is no.
Each kid is beautiful but deep down in human nature if there was too much indulgence of unwatched love, greed and selfishness will grow with no time, and that will surely lead to the kid's unhappiness at the end.
