2022-07-29

Raj was telling me, "You are really funny." In response to my question, "Do you like my recent posing photos in the car?" 

"Funny?! What's that supposed to mean? I'm not as funny as the comedians." 

"No no, comedians are comedians, you are a normal person, just like us. But you are so different from any of us. The world needs people like you. Without you, it would be so gray to live, so dull. No colors and no fragrances."

"Ok, okay, keep coming, I like that."

Got so many playdate and birthday invites already. Not in the mood yet, feeling so tired from the soccer coach's preparation. Also because we won't be here over the weekend. Not this weekend, not next weekend, not many many future weekends. 

Conveniently, I blame Raj for not being able to let our children attend all those grand birthday parties. If we don't attend, then we won't need to host. I have never even once hosted my children's birthday parties. It just ain't in this un-American mom's blood. 

I don't hate but I never like those parties... I could tag along, and show up in a happy mood. But never expect me to be the host mom of such parties. My children don't need those to feel secure and loved. We will have a little family gathering, some quiet time with people who are the most important to them. We do have playdates with our close friends, classmates, sports mates, no? 

I really don't understand the need for children's grand birthday parties. Celebrate the day your mom almost died in the maternity ward? The day your parents' life turned upside down and were chained up to be your slaves forever? 

When I was growing up, everything was a business. My parents did host my 10th-year birthday party, people came for dinner and gave a lot of red pockets that never came to me. 

I was not allowed to be slightly invovled with money until I went to college in Xiamen at 18 years old. Everything was dealt with until I met Raj and eloped with him... Had absolutely no idea about money from teens through adulthood, never had a chance to build up that concept lol... never got bothered by it, never had the urge to have more, and never truly cherished any of it either... maybe that's the foundation of my ultimate happiness and "funny" personality. 

I just don't give a fuck... 

So silly for any human being in any circumstance, flaunting the wealth or "opportunities" associated with wealth, in front of me. Extremely absurd for some to think they could grill me down by demeaning me to be a "housewife who has no income and is detached from reality". Pure ignorance, no? Never talked about my xxx years in the past and in the future, nobody knows about it. Calling me a "useless housewife" only shows the insecurity deep down in their consciousness and the severe discrimination they endure or impose upon others in their daily life. 

Hey, whatever people say to you, only reflects who they are, never who you are. 

Anyways, I don't like children's birthday parties. Period.