Saturday, June 22, 2024

YouTube neeta Chill the f* Out 😂

It's surely not my first time having accounts that I built for many years and posted thousands of videos and entries, being completely wiped out from the internet. Ya, you bet, I'm used to it by now. 

With the Chinese authoritarian regime, it's about not yielding or kneeling for what I don't believe in - the opposite of freedom and integrity. Same with YouTube, I don't comply with society's norms when it comes to sex, marriage, women, and men; I disagree with and refuse to kneel to the conservative Christian or Abrahamic way of thinking and living, so ya, I would never remember to blur out some 1100-year-old stone carving from Indian temple of two men holding their penises and enjoying themselves in the most natural way, even though YouTube had warned me once before. 

It is art and history, YouTube has lost its senses and has absolutely no taste in art. So I don't bother. 

Didn't feel a thing, only did "meh" in my mind. It's good for me actually, since the incentive to use this platform has been drastically dropping for some time. Why? Because most of the interesting content is not on YouTube anymore. They have merely 20 to 30 good accounts with some real educational videos, other than that, YouTube chose a path to suffocate all other creators with dark age rules and regulations and hence they are mostly gone or on the way to look for alternatives. Only some pious preachers who directly aim for viewers' pockets and low self-esteem eaters who need constant validation are sticking around.  

But Raj was upset and on it. He was like, "No, it's not right, it's AI's work, we need human reviews." "But babe, all the appealing channels were responded to by AI and I did try everything but only got replies like 'No Trespassing and No Entry, Bitch'." "It's okay, we will get it back, I gonna contact people I know in Google."

So he actually did. Someone who invested in Raj's new startup happened to work at YouTube. I doubted that's gonna resolve anything but he would at least show Raj that he tried. 

Meh, who cares, the account back or gone forever. Deep down I actually prefer it to be gone forever. Because that's precisely about my life: goodbyes are hard but necessary, and I'm constantly moving on to new fancies and likings. For the past month, I have changed horse riding coach, children's orthodontist office, and general dentist. It's hard to announce the news "you are not good enough anymore so we have to move on" when they thought they had your loyalty for all these years. But baby, it's good until it's not good, I don't hang around for no one and I need to teach my children how to unstuck themselves. I might make people feel good with generosity and kindness but business is business. And sadly in our lives, most affairs are strictly business even if you have the illusion of some sort of "ship" for a short moment. We live in a cold capitalist world baby. YouTube and all internet affairs stayed strictly business to me. So ya, no feelings are involved here, it is what it is and what it deserves is merely a "meh". 



Wednesday, May 29, 2024

#taiwan

When I was growing up, a lot of Chinese had a glimpse of hope that one day, China would be like Hong Kong, free and prosperous. As our now new dictator consolidated enough power and single-handedly crashed Hong Kong, the brightest pearl in the East, to the ground, in a matter of a few years, that hope has been dashed. 

Now his dirty hands are moving onto Taiwan, it is to my deepest belief that the day he lifts his fingers is also the day of his last day, the day of their regime's last day. 

No matter how torn and slaughtered we are, I refuse to give in. I refuse to sink down into the melancholy they set path for us, I refuse to withdraw to the "defeated side" they designed for us, I refuse to lose hope that myself and my children will see a democratic and free China one day. Because I have tasted the divine flavor of freedom and hence I have grown stronger. Just like how Taiwan has grown stronger. 

Over our dead bodies.

Thursday, May 23, 2024

做牛做马的最好证明

 Perfect proof of 

how much housework I do daily

how deep I'm in the motherhood blackhole

and how much of myself I burned to light up their future




Monday, May 20, 2024

Monday, May 13, 2024

Mother


 Only when you sort out the courage to be truthful to yourself 

will your children learn to find themselves and dare to be who they are. 


Only when you exhibit excitement for new journeys and untold adventures

 will your children learn to explore and discover with a free spirit. 


Only when you finally find the way to feel content and satisfied about your own existence 

will your children learn to live peacefully, peacefully with themselves, and with their world. 


 Happy Mother's Day to all the daring and dashing mothers 

who make this world a little more colorful and a little more exciting. 💖









Wednesday, May 8, 2024

Fuck You All (Well, Literally Too, LoL)

Ya this world is filled with filth and disgusting notions like this. 

I spend my whole day and night cleaning, cooking, arranging clothes, buying groceries, Ubering for my kids' classes, tending to my screaming kids, so my talent is washed away little by little and my dreams of being someone who achieved something because of her talent is slipping away little by little. 

Not only we are slaves whose hard work is regarded as worthless, our wings are cut too, so we can never fly. 



 So to this filthy world I say: mind your own fucking business and fucking let me be. 

None of you are worthy to decide anything for me or my body.