One last secret

"I have to tell you something. Can you sit down?"

Raj instantly looked scared. "What? What?! What are you going to tell me?!?" I've been putting him through a lot, as always, lol. All that he didn't want to know but has and needs to know, in the grace that I have been super open about everything with him. I kept pushing him up against the wall. The most frequent "inquiry" from me lately was - "Why can't we be in an open relationship so I can go out on normal dates?" I can feel each time I tried to push for a discussion, Raj's ass tightened, shoulders squeezed, hair stood and head exploded. "Men think very logically and pragmatically, okay? Our minds don't drift like yours. Especially you, born a princess, treated as one your whole life, never had to worry about a thing in your life. There will always be people who tidy everything up for you!"

"Don't worry. Do I ever put you in a bad position? Did you ever feel truly harmed by me in any way? Instead, most of the time it's me who gets hurt. Do I ever manipulate you, knowing how much power I have?"

"No, you never. And I love you so so so much..."

"Okay. Remember I told you how I rode with strangers on their motorbikes outside of a train station, I forgot where, in an East Coast town on a solo trip after UC Berkeley summer, they were black dudes, cute and sweet, offered to drop me off at my hotel, and I went with them? Remember how I got into another stranger's car outside of another train station in another East Coast town on the same solo trip, he was a sweet Vietnamese guy, offered to drop me off at my hotel, we chatted so much on the way, he gave me a wine bottle from his trunk at farewell and exchanged Facebook account with me, I still see his updates?"

"Yea, yea, you told me those stories. Why? What happened?"

"Oh nothing happened. I'm just trying to tell you, my heart has always been open." 

"Remember first I told you I was a virgin when you knew me, then I told you I lived with my first sexual partner for 2-3 weeks, then later I told you I actually lived with him for 2-3 months? Well, breaking my virginity was my sole purpose of being with him, as all of my Chinese and French friends knew and cheered for me. They were seriously worried about me as an 'extremely old virgin' and my French and international friends sincerely offered to help me with their, you know. You got the updates from that story, right? 2-3 months together but not 2-3 weeks, right? Traveled all around Brussels and France, learned from him how to make tomato eggs; he was having a girlfriend back in BJ, with whom he was cheating. But it was none of my business because he kinda forced me into having sex with him without full verbal consent in the first place, well, but I was in search of how to break my virginity without any experience, so it worked. He was gentle and sweet with me for the time we were together. I had a great spring; he planned all the travels. Later, when my article with you was all over the Chinese internet, he turned into a crazy person, accusing me of being a traitor to China, what a spoiled brat of a higher government official's offspring and all that?"

"Yea, I think I finally got the updated version after many years."

"Yes, you did. The version you have now is the most updated."

"What you trying to tell me now?"

"Well, what I'm trying to tell you is that I have always been adventurous and open."

"Yea, yea, I know."

 "Oh, remember I told you about my sweetheart Pat from Poland? We met online when I was in my second year at XMU. We met in person once in XM, which was a sweet day out in the romantic coastal city. Many years later, I traveled to Poland with him for five days, having stayed in France for a year, trying to decide if I wanted him to be my boyfriend. He is such a sweet and respectful person, and I still hold him in high regard. Five days of traveling around the whole country, he planned the entire trip, Warsaw, Krakow, coastal cities, I don't even know where we went, a big circle around the country. We walked around each city, visited beautiful museums, and he took me to watch movies, listen to live music, meet his friends, and drink in bars. He tried once but at that time I was still a virgin, waiting for 'the one', he never forced himself on me, having staying together in a same hotel room for five freaking days! Unbelievably respectful!"

"Yea, yea, you told me about it. So, anything you want to tell me today?"

"So that one solo trip I did in Italy. I walked all around in Rome, then Venice, and all those beautiful Italian cities all by myself, remember? I told you about an encounter in Rome? I almost got trapped by a fake film director?"

"Ya, you said you drank coffee with him and went away. What happened?"

"Well, there was more and I told Leena today, we laughed our asses off so I am updating you now."

"There was more? What happened? Why didn't you tell me?"

”Well, it was very embarrassing, alright? But now it's just funny. Lol!"

"Tell meeeeeeee!"

"So this middle-aged Italian man saw me, a tiny thin Chinese girl in flip-flops rolling a red suitcase all by myself. He told me that he was making a film and looking for actresses. He invited me for a coffee, so I went. We sat together outdoors, and many locals were eyeing us. He explained it to me in his broken Italian English, and my Chinese English was still quite poor at that time. But I understood he needed a 'doppelganger' of an Asian woman's role in his film. He said he already had the actress for the front, but he needed a 'doppelganger' to act as her back. He thought my back must be lovely."

"So?"

"So he said he needed to see my back in a private room."

"And you went with him?"

"Ya. Told you I have been and now still very open!"

"Where did you go with him?!?"

"A shady building, maybe it was his apartment or something. He led me there, asked me to leave my red suitcase on the first floor, and then locked it in a room. He then led me upstairs to his room, I think."

"Whaaaattt?!?"

"Ya, I went with him. He asked me to take off my clothes so he could see my back. I went to the bathroom and took off my top and pants, leaving only my underwear on, I think. Did I take off my undies too? I seriously don't remember anymore. I came back to his room naked only to find him lying in his bed, pantless, holding his thing and demanding me to eat it."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttt?!?!!?!?! What did you do then?"

"I was like, 'Oh fuuuuuuuuck!'"

"Oh, I think that 'oh fuck' was about an hour too late."

"Yea, exactly! I was like, 'Oh fuck, what the fuck I got myself into? I'm still a virgin, this must be the first raw penis I've ever seen besides my dad's.' Then I instantly turned into a monster. In my head, I was like, 'I saved myself for the 'one true love' for all these years, you think you deserve that???' I didn't panic, I pretended to be exceptionally calm, but I completely changed face, I started saying things about Gods remember what. I think that got him shit scared because he had never imagined to meet a true psychopath in that way. I was only 22, but I had been traveling around China with my family since I couldn't remember when. I had met some really dangerous people in my life when I was way younger than 22. I had ample experience and practice in mind-reading, face-changing, and role-acting kinds of self-protection and younger-sibling-protection skills. No matter what kind of criminal you are, you don't want to fight with a poisonous king cobra; she could single-handedly take down your whole operation. After about 2-3 minutes, he quickly put on his pants, while I went and put on my clothes. He then led me downstairs, retrieved my red suitcase, and let me go. No handshakes, no kisses."

"What the..... I am speechless! You are one crazy woman."

"Well.... Isn't that straight-up-to-ass hilarious now, after so many years?"

"So much could have happened to you! You could have been raped, even killed, or human trafficked!"

"Yup, I know. I could have been raped and murdered many many many times, considering all that wild shit I got myself into when I was solo doing all that stuff in all those foreign countries at such a young age. But hey, never! I only had fun and made life-long friends!"

"You are one crazy woman with the best luck!"

"Well, you can say that! And ya, this is the last secret I kept from you, of my time before meeting you."