Prostitute

In the core of any human being, one thing I take very seriously is whether this person respects women most fundamentally. For men, respecting women means they give regard to women's experiences, they treat our physical differences as normality, even though men's bodies naturally desire women's, and men are generally bigger and stronger. On a higher level, they are curious about our health, our happiness, or the way we perceive the world, which is entirely different from theirs.   

Most men in this world don't have that in them. They didn't grow up that way, nobody taught them properly, and the various societies they came from did a poor job. Some societies are even going backwards, doing a worse job now compared to before: pushing women down, stepping on them, and punishing them. America, China for sure, maybe India, and all Muslim predominant countries. 

I am a woman who was and still is being punished by Chinese society. The men in the society use me as a "living example". None of the things about me on the Chinese internet are true, and whatever they fabricated in 2021, the exact duplicate content, they keep reposting. 

I still receive nasty comments from Chinese internet users daily on my new YouTube accounts. Of course, I needed to set up those YT accounts after my almost 10k account was eliminated. My own fault, but it is what it is. I need a place to share my updates, as well as some old videos, in case people saw those defaming fake articles and searched for me to find out how miserable my life was. 

I recall that in 2021, during the storm, I received tens of thousands of comments daily on my YouTube channel, after all of my Chinese social media handles were deleted and blocked access altogether. People used VPN to find me on YouTube and leave comments. 

Two keywords in most of those comments: Prostitute and Traitor. Actually, Chinese internet users have been using these two keywords on me for more than a decade already, from the beginning I was online and started actively promoting different cultures, in 2009. I have gotten used to internet violence, and it has toughened me overall. Part of the crucial growth in my 20s and 30s. 

Today itself, there were at least five comments across my new YouTube accounts with the keyword "prostitute". 

I actually do not understand this discrimination towards prostitutes. Aren't they doing jobs to support themselves? Isn't it the oldest job humankind could think of? Doesn't the work provide a great deal of necessary service for men? 

I have immense respect for prostitutes. In fact, one of my favorite classics is "The Lady of the Camellias" by Alexandre Dumas fils. I read it when I was 9, 11, 14, and 16, can't remember how many times, progressing from an abridged version to a comic-like version with black-and-white drawings, and then to the original copy. I sobbed for days, maybe weeks, each time I read it. When I was a teen, I thought to myself: when I grew up, if I ought to be a writer, I should somehow experience this kind of life in person. Maybe a side job related to this field when I reach 20, like the young adults who work to put themselves through college in those American movies. I have had an open mind since a very young age, it's just that life has always treated me well financially. It's always a trade-off. 

The classic tragedies from all walks of life taught me to look beyond the obvious and see through things. And in reality, I hold strippers in a very high regard, I believe you gotta be gifted by the Gods and Goddesses with perfect bodies to master this job. I dream of measuring up to it, and I know that practice can help compensate for my body's shortcomings. Perhaps I could be a successful one with my own niche market, regardless of my age. 

I understand where they come from when they leave nasty comments on my accounts, calling me a prostitute; but they won't understand why that doesn't affect me at all, based on my experiences from a teen till today. We are from entirely different systems.

So, am I a prostitute? My answer is this: whatever answer you formed in your mind regarding me, it is only an indication of your own life path, your experiences and understanding of your own world. It says a lot about what kind of world you are coming from, too. And you have all the freedom in the world to forge your own opinions about anything, including me. Although most of the time people mistake the derivation of brainwashing-induced quick views to freedom. Keep an eye out for that. The thinking regarding me your mind cultivates provides me no value about myself, but only about the thinking my mind cultivates about you. And to that, I only have a limited amount of interest and energy to draw a very generalized picture from the tens of thousands, maybe millions, of your comments. 

So am I a prostitute? That's a great question and the right one to ask!

Sometimes maybe you just want to see me being here, 

spoke for 4 minutes but actually conveyed nothing?