Girl Crush

I met her at the event commemorating June 4th. I was singing with "Teacher Li." She came forward to talk to me afterwards. I was wearing a mask; she didn't. Oh my gosh, she was so handsome. Her hair was dyed yellow, and she had an attractive face with sharp yet soft features. My heart jumped a little, and I was thinking in my mind, "I could totally kiss this girl and go down on her." That was the first time ever that I felt this way for a woman. I had had sex with dozens of women by then. Women had kissed me, eaten me out, even fucked me with a strapon. I had kissed women on their lips, chests, and caressed all over their bodies, but had not yet progressed into eating them out.

Therefore, after I met my girl crush, I officially announced myself as "bi." I updated my bio on social media mainly for her to see, hoping that she liked girls too.

As a small aside, the night I met my girl crush was the same night I played with "my guy." I rushed to the Oakland hotel after my little music performance in SF. For the next few months, I was thrown off my track because of being "in love" with "my guy," not knowing that it was probably the last time I would ever see him, no matter how much I wanted him to be in my life. What I didn't realize was that a different person - who would become important in my life in a much more profound and impactful way - appeared on the same night.

My girl crush wanted to join us to form a band. Since then, she, Teacher Li, Ginger, and two or three other girls have been practicing music, irregularly, in my house. Our band group chat on Signal has always been active, as we try to find ways to meet each other. One day, I started talking about sexual liberty. Then one thing led to another: Khajuraho, religious suppression, feminism, patriarchy, and lifestyle. I was feeling very passionate about it and sharing it all with my Chinese bandmates. We talked about how and why people in the Bay Area were so open about sexuality, and my girl crush let us know she was a part of the same community. She then separately sent me messages telling me she was gender queer and poly. She goes to ABCD (all but cis dudes) sex parties. I told her I wanted to go with her one day.

I think by then our liking for each other was pretty obvious. We always look at each other deep in the eyes and smile sweetly. She was always willing to talk to me and be open. I felt very comfortable with her. Although I totally suck at flirting, I tried my best to express my feelings and emotions in the group chat, making sure I "heart" her content all the time and replied to her messages with diligence and care.

On Monday night, we met at Ginger's house. The moment my girl crush arrived there, she announced to us all that she had just gotten a piercing on her clitoris. Later, she also opened up to me about the tough situation she and her partner were facing. She used to be poly - still poly at the core - but now only has this one partner. The problem is that the partner gets jealous and is not willing to grant freedom to her while she enjoys all the freedom. I have been following up with my girl crush, offering encouragement to sort out equality and mutual respect in the relationship, because that's the only way any relationship could last.

Oh, Monday night, we had so much laughter that my stomach was literally cramping and in pain. The three feminists were trying to explain feminism and patriarchy to "Teacher Li," who still believes in "love at first sight," "true love," and the bullshit idea that "men should protect women because men are stronger, women are weaker." "Teacher Li" thought the clitoris piercing was a new birth control method, and he had no idea how to make women cum!

So now, we are looking forward to: first, more regular band practices and performances; second, my joining my girl crush in one of the ABCD sex parties, after she sorts out the relationship with her partner, most probably I would finally get to kiss her, and go down on her, getting my first "eating out" experience, with a beautiful pussy in piercing; and third, but most excitingly, some of us want to find a time to cram into her tiny cool car and ride off in the wild!