Our story

"...with detailed descriptions about the past events..." "What? You've been writing about the events? In a secret site?" "Yes, I never stopped writing. And no, it's not on a secret site, well, anymore." "What?! Where?" "Well. You know where, you just haven't been there for years." "What? Nooo! You stopped updating your blog years ago, no?" "Who told you that? I have never stopped. Writing is my life." 

I don't admire the character in "Sex and the City" in any sense, and no, I have no intention of making my blog a popular sex blog. It has been a process, a necessary step, a liberating move, to openly write about my other world and post it here. It's part of my journey, and it's part of me. At the end of the day, it's just a woman's personal diary; whoever reads it is at her grace. She is being kind and generous to share her journey with them. 

I have been writing about our extravagant events in this public blog for almost a month now, and I have been aware that it's my responsibility to inform Raj about it. So when he took me out last night to celebrate the 17th anniversary of our first meet-up, I told him about it. 

"Whose fault is that? You stopped coming to my blog to read, okay? I sent you links, I wanted your opinions, but you didn't have time for me. So I got used to it and stopped involving you. My blog has always been here. Nothing has changed. I have stood my ground."  

Raj is happy for me and excited to read all at once. He knew all that happened; he was informed by me about my feelings and emotions. We have nothing to hide from each other, and we also decided that we have nothing to hide from the world. We proudly stand by our choices and actions, together. 

"I feel so in love with you. I am swept by your confidence and courage, it's so absolutely enticing and charming!" That's about the summary of Raj's reaction after he spent hours reading through my recent entries while waiting for me to finish my music rehearsal after dining out.  

He only had one concern: "Don't reveal our friends' (who appeared in my sex events) identity." Ya, for sure! Their secrets are safe with me! Our sexual partners who eventually become our friends, too, I would protect them! "Other than that, ha, I am so proud of you for having the courage to live this life and unapologetically being you." "Ya, so if one day some friends or people come up to you showing you my blog, reply to them proudly, 'Oh, you are also a fan of my wife?? Good for you!! I have been her fan since the very beginning! She writes well, right? Do you like our stories? We live a fabulous life, don't we?' And when our kids grow up, say 25 years old, that's the time when things could possibly go off, in my estimation, they read our stories from my blog, they would be freaking proud of us! Cheering and clapping for us." 

I genuinely don't think people in today's world have the humility and patience to come to my blog and read. But juicy stuff like what I have been writing for the past month? It's an entirely different story. It has the potential to go off and explode one day, if stuff like that keeps coming this way. And talking about being in the center or being the cause of explosions, that's me, it's written in my fate and stars. Wherever I go, in China, France, or America, using Chinese, English, or French, no matter what I do, things would go off when the time comes. I can't let that stop me or alter what I want to do with my life.

Raj then spent more hours today reading through many old entries. "You stopped writing around 2015, 2016, alright? Only 2, 3 posts per year. That's why I assumed you would never write blogs anymore. I've been on all the platforms of your social media accounts, used to read your writings on the old YouTube account's Community section, your FB, Insta, Twitter..." "Ya.... 2015, 2016... that was the time when I completely lost myself because of motherhood. I didn't have time for anything else except raising the children. But I've gotten things back slowly, especially over the past four or five years. I sent you links to read the letters I wrote to kids, no? You were so busy and didn't get to do it, multiple times, hence I let you off the hook." "Ya, you are such an interesting person. I love you to the core. I am so in love with you. Your writings... it has always been so fascinating, you would write about all that random stuff in your mind, your random thoughts, so beautiful... From your 'First English blog' to today, you are still you, the way you think, your attitude, nothing much has changed, but your English has gotten really good, very smooth now. Oh, oh, and those 'Conversations', lol, they are so funny! You basically were expressing what was on your mind in a monologue style, and I was just doing 'ah' 'oh' 'ya' 'right'... Hahahaha!"

I have never doubted that Raj would be on my side on anything I do, alright? Any wild things humans can imagine in today's society. It's only been a year since Raj finally started his own company, having the leisure of a relaxed and free mind, and the flexibility of time. Now that I have begun intensive writing about our exciting affairs, it's about time that Raj knows about it. And guess what, he absolutely loved the writings on the recent affairs and the fact that they were on my public blog, which was locatable. 

And ya, this is us. This is our story and legacy.