Been suppressing my senses throughout the weekend. Hope no one noticed that I didn't greet "happy father's day" to no one. Just not in the place, not in the place at all. Still trying very hard to normalize my own relationship, so the house can pass each day in peace but not misery.
Growing up without the intimacy of siblinghood, without a conscious connection with the closest guardians, maybe that's why I'm never able to knock off the itch to rather fall off the boat and drown in solitary.
But in the vast meaninglessness that we were brought upon without consent, surely some of us are floating closer to light, and some of us are drifting on the edge of dark.
Maybe all that is worthy to do is hold on to the suffering until the knowing of the suffering ends.
Because no matter how you might believe, meaninglessness is the only destination for all.
salute to the sober souls who have the courage to soar into the light
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