"...with detailed descriptions about the past events..." "What? You've been writing about the events? In a secret site?" "Yes, I never stopped writing. And no, it's not on a secret site, well, anymore." "What?! Where?" "Well. You know where, you just haven't been there for years." "What? Nooo! You stopped updating your blog years ago, no?" "Who told you that? I have never stopped. Writing is my life."
I don't admire the character in "Sex and the City" in any sense, and no, I have no intention of making my blog a popular sex blog. It has been a process, a necessary step, a liberating move, to openly write about my other world and post it here. It's part of my journey, and it's part of me. At the end of the day, it's just a woman's personal diary; whoever reads it is at her grace. She is being kind and generous to share her journey with them.
I have been writing about our extravagant events in this public blog for almost a month now, and I have been aware that it's my responsibility to inform Raj about it. So when he took me out last night to celebrate the 17th anniversary of our first meet-up, I told him about it.
"Whose fault is that? You stopped coming to my blog to read, okay? I sent you links, I wanted your opinions, but you didn't have time for me. So I got used to it and stopped involving you. My blog has always been here. Nothing has changed. I have stood my ground."
Raj is happy for me and excited to read all at once. He knew all that happened; he was informed by me about my feelings and emotions. We have nothing to hide from each other, and we also decided that we have nothing to hide from the world. We proudly stand by our choices and actions, together.
"I feel so in love with you. I am swept by your confidence and courage, it's so absolutely enticing and charming!" That's about the summary of Raj's reaction after he spent hours reading through my recent entries while waiting for me to finish my music rehearsal after dining out.
He only had one concern: "Don't reveal our friends' (who appeared in my sex events) identity." Ya, for sure! Their secrets are safe with me! Our sexual partners who eventually become our friends, too, I would protect them! "Other than that, ha, I am so proud of you for having the courage to live this life and unapologetically being you." "Ya, so if one day some friends or people come up to you showing you my blog, reply to them proudly, 'Oh, you are also a fan of my wife?? Good for you!! I have been her fan since the very beginning! She writes well, right? Do you like our stories? We live a fabulous life, don't we?' And when our kids grow up, say 25 years old, that's the time when things could possibly go off, in my estimation, they read our stories from my blog, they would be freaking proud of us! Cheering and clapping for us."
I genuinely don't think people in today's world have the humility and patience to come to my blog and read. But juicy stuff like what I have been writing for the past month? It's an entirely different story. It has the potential to go off and explode one day, if stuff like that keeps coming this way. And talking about being in the center or being the cause of explosions, that's me, it's written in my fate and stars. Wherever I go, in China, France, or America, using Chinese, English, or French, no matter what I do, things would go off when the time comes. I can't let that stop me or alter what I want to do with my life.
Raj then spent more hours today reading through many old entries. "You stopped writing around 2015, 2016, alright? Only 2, 3 posts per year. That's why I assumed you would never write blogs anymore. I've been on all the platforms of your social media accounts, used to read your writings on the old YouTube account's Community section, your FB, Insta, Twitter..." "Ya.... 2015, 2016... that was the time when I completely lost myself because of motherhood. I didn't have time for anything else except raising the children. But I've gotten things back slowly, especially over the past four or five years. I sent you links to read the letters I wrote to kids, no? You were so busy and didn't get to do it, multiple times, hence I let you off the hook." "Ya, you are such an interesting person. I love you to the core. I am so in love with you. Your writings... it has always been so fascinating, you would write about all that random stuff in your mind, your random thoughts, so beautiful... From your 'First English blog' to today, you are still you, the way you think, your attitude, nothing much has changed, but your English has gotten really good, very smooth now. Oh, oh, and those 'Conversations', lol, they are so funny! You basically were expressing what was on your mind in a monologue style, and I was just doing 'ah' 'oh' 'ya' 'right'... Hahahaha!"
I have never doubted that Raj would be on my side on anything I do, alright? Any wild things humans can imagine in today's society. It's only been a year since Raj finally started his own company, having the leisure of a relaxed and free mind, and the flexibility of time. Now that I have begun intensive writing about our exciting affairs, it's about time that Raj knows about it. And guess what, he absolutely loved the writings on the recent affairs and the fact that they were on my public blog, which was locatable.
They happen to live in the same city as us, husband 44, wife 48, no children. Raj has been taking over the app lately and connected with them there. The previous Sunday, we met over brunch in our city village and talked nicely for two hours. I had a great chat with K, the wife. She was such a sweet woman, respectful, open-minded, kind, and warm. She holds a graduate degree in the History of Art from Columbia and has been working in this field for her entire life.
Like most of us, she had been conditioned to accept a monogamous marriage as the default, but her husband, M, had always been in a sort of open relationship before meeting her. Out of love for him, she is now open to exploring, although she hadn't done much at all, only a three-way with one other woman. While M has kept two or three different partners over the years. They met around eight years ago, and since their first date, they've been inseparable; both knew they had found the person of their lives.
Obviously, we had a great vibe during brunch. I talked about various issues: my story of being brainwashed, deconstructing and reconstructing myself over the course of 15 years; autocracy, political censorship and how it works, feasting on people's fear; monogamy is a man-made patriarchal societal construct, its sole purpose has been taking control over women's wombs and keeping them under men; patriarchy uses a set of language to exert power over women etc. She was pretty delighted conversing with me, "Oh ya, I have been trying to unburden myself from all that conditioning, such as jealousy a partner felt in a monogamy relationship. It all makes sense now, thank you for connecting all the dots for me!"
Since the brunch, the four of us have been in a group text chat, planning our first night out. It would be her first four-way. They invited us over to their house, which was merely 10 minutes away from ours.
We arrived there Friday night at 8:30, a nice neighborhood with well-watered front lawns and fancy house lights. They were both at the door to receive us, we took off our shoes, and their house was neat and clean. One time I was telling my 20 y/o interest about what turned me on, "I like the guys being really, really clean, it turns me on. I like them to smell good. I like them to be clean and well-maintained, of course, that's on top of being respectful and kind. And I like how smart you are, it turns me on too." We have been invited to seven other (non-vanilla) houses before, including two single guys, four other couples, and one single woman. Surprisingly, the experiences at the single guys' and the couples' were excellent, with clean and well-arranged spaces, but the single woman's was a mess. There were breadcrumbs on her bed, she had a dusty box with all kinds of random toys and tools thrown in, and she didn't wash her toys after playing. Even today, after almost three years, we are still aghast when discussing it.
K and M's house was extremely pleasant. The floor was comfortable to walk on barefoot, as if it had just been mopped and vacuumed. That's how I keep my house at all times, even when my ACL was broken or I was just out of a gallbladder removal surgery. I've been to homes that are not so clean, you can avoid eating or sitting there, but you can't avoid walking on the floor. If there were dust, crumbs, or hair on the floor and at the corners, or if the floor surface was sticky, I would get goosebumps all over my body and be grossed out the entire time. Once I was in this new mommy friend's apartment, and she had a layer of hair and dust on the floor, I think I had consistent nightmares about it for the following three months.
Because K works in the arts, their taste in interior design and decoration is exceptional. We examined all the art pieces hanging on their walls and went through all the exquisitely displayed objects on the table. I had genuine interest and appreciation for all of them, especially the pocket watches from M's great-great-great-grandfather, which were over 120 years old. They were kept in custom-made glass stands. M took them out and opened different delicate layers; they were in excellent condition and were still functioning well. Since M had no children, he would pass them to his nieces once they grew up.
M usually sleeps early, by 9, he would be passed out, since he wakes up at 5 almost every day. But on Friday, he was determined to stay up. He had drunk three cups of coffee by 9. We all laughed delightedly at that. M was wearing a blue T-shirt that had "Three some" written on it. K said he had a good collection of those. The blue T-shirt was worn over a pair of transparent rainbow-colored beach pants, allowing the see-through underwear to be visible. It was pretty cute, to be honest.
Earlier during our text exchange, K did mention that she was "demi", she needed a lot of familiarity and intimacy before penetration, which meant that there would not be much action down there for her, but ya, we would see. Raj had called me right after the text arrived. I explained the concept of "demi" to him, and he also conducted some research on it. While I was laughing at Raj, neither of us truly minded; we appreciated her honesty and would have loved to just hang out and build some friendship and intimacy anyway. K's attire reflected what she had in mind: black patterned yoga pants and a regular blouse, while I was in my ready-to-be-ripped-off see-through tight dress. In the world of patriarchy, free women are a rare find. Free, as well as attractive, kind, and warm - a near impossibility. Hence, we happily take in any woman who is strong enough to reach this far.
After admiring all the art pieces in the house, we moved to their garage, where M had a whole weed operation going on. It was like in the movies, those greenhouses that harvest weeds. I inspected the two growing plants inside the zippable chambers, which are under bright white lights. The lights are on at night but off during the day to conserve energy. Next to them was a drying machine that allowed you to set the temperature and moisture level at specific times, enabling the leaves to be prepared. M also had a whole filtering system where he would make his own jelly and cream. He started explaining how the complicated filtering machine works while preparing a hookah-like smoke for us. "What are those containers for?" "Oh, these are substances to fertilize the... See, the soils are... and that's why the plants need..."
I didn't understand a word he said, or they simply stopped registering in my mind anymore. Instead, I was feeling wet. When a man starts getting into his man-cave mode, showing me what he is obsessed with, what he has intensely been working on or building on, using all those technical terms that I have absolutely no idea of, I get wet. "Oh, what's your major in undergrad?" "I didn't go to college, I directly went to helicopter flying school, remember?" "Ya, he is that kind of person who doesn't need a degree. He is so freaking smart, whatever he is interested in, he will learn it by himself and be better than anybody else." K added in a loving and admiring tone. Oh right, M went to a helicopter flying school when he was 15 or 16, was a helicopter pilot for 10-20 years, then became an aerospace engineer. He learns everything on his own, and he excels in the arts, photography, and engineering. More, obviously, wait for me to uncover. Yes, smart guys, get me wet each and every time.
While I was quietly getting wet, inspecting all the neatly kept glass containers, I also realized that M was at least 6'1" with a nice body build. Not as fit as all four of my single guys, a little bit of belly, but fit enough to be married at the age of 44. What's with the above 6 feet and me? I swear I don't have a thing for a man's height at all, but somehow, the most compatible ones for me are all over 6 feet. My first love was 6, which is why I easily fall in love with guys who resemble him. However, the resemblance should be a comprehensive package: body build, facial hair, the way they move and talk, and the way they look into my eyes. The guy I was in love with perfectly resembled my first love, in every way: the way he talked and moved, the way he whispered in my ear, his voice and tone, the way he looked into my eyes, ahh, the way he looked into my eyes...his clean-shaven face, his smooth skin, how he felt in my hands, his body build, and last, his height, 5'11. So see, I don't have a thing for a man's height, the number itself doesn't mean anything.
They really wanted to sit outside in their garden for a while, so we went. What a heavenly little garden! A small patch of grass surrounded by fruit plants in pots, at the center of the grass was a set of cozy sofas under a grass-roofed wooden canopy. Ivy and flowers hang from the roof, covering the four sides. After their wedding, they thought to themselves, "Why did we have our wedding ceremony in the other venue? We could just have it here in our own backyard!" With all the hanging ivy and flowers, it did feel like a perfect little wedding arbor.
They brought out thick blankets and furry robes. M put on his own, while I put on K's. They said their friend, who was an artist, had handmade these robes. They helped cut, sew, and fill up the inner with cotton. Those two robes came with matching furry cat ears; they demonstrated how to purr and hiss. M kept calling K his "kitty cat". This couple is so absolutely adorable; most importantly, they are in a stable relationship where they respect and love each other. With years of experience, we have found that only when two people genuinely care for each other and prioritize the other's needs do they provide the best experience when meeting with us.
It would be K's first four-way; we three all naturally put her in the center of the experience. The smartest thing to do: only if she were provided a fulfilling experience, she would agree to go back to it. We sat together on the sofa for a while, with M and I in the center, K and Raj on opposite sides. M was clever cause he didn't make a move on me at all while sitting next to me. We maintained a very decent conversational flow among the four of us. We talked about gardening, arts, fruit trees, and all kinds of random stuff, with respect and warmth. Instead of me, M's hands were stretched out on Raj's shoulder, massaging and rubbing him.
Eventually, we moved indoors. M directed us to enter the door to his bedroom. They had separate bedrooms since K couldn't tolerate M's nighttime noise. M's bedroom was immaculate too; things were arranged neatly, including the closet, the clothes were tidily folded. We were invited to his bed. A clean space, bedsheets and blankets felt fresh. M started music from his working station opposite his bed with two big screens and some could-be-interesting objects on the table. His taste in music is similar to mine; those beats and sounds were what I would love to dig out from the vast internet. He said it was an auto-play from Spotify.
For the next entire hour, we four were lying in M's bed, having the most advanced foreplay I've ever experienced. K and I were in the middle. At first, Raj was behind me, M was behind K. At some point, they switched, so M was behind me and Raj was behind K. K and I were touching each other, trying out kisses too. I made efforts on kissing her lips, caressing her body, and later on moved to fondling her breasts and nipping her nipples. I would compliment how pretty she was, how sweet she tasted, and how soft, as well as firm, her body felt in my hands. At the same time, the two guys were working on us. M had a collection of different fabrics, each with its own unique texture: some were furry, some feathery, some silky, and some ropy. He used each one of them to run through my entire body. He took the sweet time to conduct this foreplay that we were entirely unfamiliar with: endless intimacy and stimulation.
Whenever K went to the restroom or changed clothes, the two guys would work on me together. Because M was experienced and patiently took the time to warm me up, Raj did the same. He has always been a quick learner, and each play adds more experience and skills. They took turns eating me. I love a different approach each time from various men and women, that's the point of this exploration, no? I loved how M gently ate me for 20 to 30 minutes nonstop, and he added his fingers later. Many women would cum with fingering. Therefore, a lot of men love to try to make us cum with their fingers. But I can never. As a matter of fact, most men's hands move too fast and too roughly for me. I can't take it, I always push their hands away. M was gentle enough, stimulating too, and made me moan a little. He had been working hard to try to make me cum, but Raj told him I would need a lot of penetration to achieve that.
The four of us were all thoughtful and intelligent enough to understand and practice proper rotations. We were dividing our attentions among the other three so nobody would feel left out. This was by far the best four-way experience Raj and I have ever had.
While M was giving love and attention to his beloved wife, Raj was loving me as well as trying to make me cum. I was stimulated enough during the foreplay, and cumming was very easy. I screamed for a whole thirty seconds. M and K were utterly amazed by it. They had never seen a woman cum so intensely, it was fulfilling for them to witness. "Tomorrow, our neighbors will give us the look indicating that we had a lot of sex last night and they heard it." "Oh ya, I'm pretty sure our neighbors can hear us every night even though our houses are spread out." "I want you to train me and one day I also want to cum like that!"
Although there was no penetration for K, Raj and she had quality time bonding. "She is a passionate kisser. She kissed me intensely, and she loved it. She was dripping wet, and I felt it with her pants on." Later on, Raj told me. I am glad, and hopefully, one day she will feel ready. With M's fingers and tongue getting inside of me deeper, my legs were open wider and wider, and I was yearning for more. I gave M head to get him ready. Raj had been training me to give head, "Most of the time, it's not about the depth, but the suction." With M's hand gently pushing a little, I was sure I gave a pretty good head for him. At some point when K was out of the room, I was holding both of the men's, one in each hand, stroking and fondling with both. The two were the exact same size, and it was pronounced when they were put side by side like that. The two men were lying head to head next to each other, enjoying being pampered by the same woman at the same time. They were also showing affection for each other by massaging and caressing, as well as kissing.
Then M was in me for the next entire hour. I had spotting, but he didn't care. He ate me for a long time, fingered me nonstop, and finally, he was in me. In a way that nobody would feel left out, or feel that we two were having too much fun. Penetration is my favorite; nothing compares. All that other stuff was merely foreplay for me. For men, too, I bet. M is hung, I didn't know until I knew. The 8 inches of fullness in me, with their big and strong body so close to mine, holding, hugging, kissing, and loving me, heaven. The way M was with me felt like making love, and that's my absolute favorite. Every time, good sex like this reminds me how much I love sex and how good it feels. Raj said women who truly enjoy sex, in an utterly nonapologetic and free way, were extremely rare, and absolutely precious. I am one of them.
M wanted me to cum again, he wanted to be inside of me while I cum, so he can feel it. He was using his fingers to help, but I did need my vibrator. We were left alone in M's room for another half an hour, so eventually M gave in and finished himself. Gentlemen always would ask me right before cumming, "Can I cum?" "Ya sure!" They all wore protection, and I already cum, of course they can use my body to cum. He waited for me to recover, kissed and rubbed my back until he reminded me to join the other two outside. To be honest, I love men who are in stable relationships with their partners the most, because they know how to love us, they have the patience and skills.
Yup, this was our Friday night, and I do hope K loved the experience, so we will have more adventures with them in the future ;)
I'm still a little disgusted by the memory of that guy's whole mouth in mine, his tongue all over mine. It also comes with his body odor, that strong smell coming from his entire body, head to toe. I knew Thursday afternoon was going to be bad. Of course, I knew, I knew it the moment I finished scanning his figure right after he walked into that Panera. But I sucked it up, because this Indian has so much time that he gets many random women to bring to the table. And he does make an effort, for example, he drove more than one hour to meet us, while it was only 15 minutes away from our house. The good thing is, Raj also couldn't take the smell, his tolerance level is lower than mine in anything, to be honest; so whenever Raj decides that it's not worth it, no matter who he can bring with, I will already be clapping my hands, nodding my head and leading the way, "Let's get the fuck outta here."
His figure is not too bad at all, tall, 6'1, some belly, slightly on the chubby side, very handsome face. But the fact that he is not 100% fit with no extra fat, disqualifies him in all senses, well, for me. What can I say, I'm a spoiled brat. I'm used to all muscles, but no fat at all. He was like, "You have the most beautiful eyes. When I saw your profile, I didn't notice anything else, except your eyes, bla bla bla." Ya, man, you are just that lazy to read through my profile. Sexy eye my ass. He would spend extended time gazing into my eyes while complimenting them. I would happily accept the challenge and gaze back into his eyes, for as long as his eyes were on mine. I have absolutely no shyness for random people like him. I was listening to his bla bla bla and laughing in my head, "So much bullshit, man, you drama queen, thinking yourself to be so skilled and superior at this game of getting women. Well, as long as you bring along women, I fucking suck up for anything. Sexy eye my ass, as if you could fuck my eyes. I have never met a man who would be satisfied by looking into my eyes. Unless, unless you can't do it, lol. Maybe you are like that? I bet you are like that! Based on my experience with Indians! Thinking you could use your eyes to trap me. Who the fuck you think you are? Tom Cruise? And who the fuck you think I am? 13-year-old virgin? Lol."
He is married to a beautiful Indian wife, works in IT, and works from home, so he has plenty of time to play around. He and his wife are in a kinda open relationship. His wife is fucking her boss several times a week, like a boyfriend in an affair, and he has a list of 6, 7 women. Most of them are wives who are fucking behind husbands' back. He would be called upon when husbands are traveling. He picked up all those women from app, or randomly in the street. He would look into random women's eyes and make a connection, lol! He does have a handsome and pleasing face, and he is tall too. One wife he met in a restaurant, then again the next day in Costco, so they exchanged phone numbers. I salute his selfless services. I mean, I do get such people a lot while walking around, in Costco or Safeway or wherever, but will I accept any of them? Absolutely no. I fucking run away. I need a channel to pick whoever I want from hundreds, maybe thousands, of applicants. I need them to write a good description, I need an online vibe check, then an in-person vibe check, and then negative test results to proceed with any form of play. I. am. not. desperate.
He said, "I am a Gujarati; my dad owns a hotel. Look, that's my new BMW." I was laughing my ass off, had never met a person so deeply stuck in his own shit and the stinky worldly turds, "Ya ya, get out of here, as if I don't live among millionaires and billionaires. All I have been seeing and hearing all day is people with money, a loooooot of money, out of your imagination, man."
He doesn't use his real name or phone number. He booked the hotel for Thursday afternoon, but only received cash from us. More than being annoyed, Raj and I felt super funny about this behavior. Seriously, how high does he think about himself? Papa owns a hotel and maintains a pious image of the family, so he should protect it with all he can? In such a family business, reputation and image are everything! Then be a good boy and stop fucknig around! Lol! Raj and I discussed this hundreds of times, and we. do. not. give. a. fuck. We do not give a fuck if my nude photos and videos are everywhere in the dark web or white web, we do not give a fuck if all of our friends and family and acquaintances and people in business know everything about it, because Raj and I are together, we are a team, we are simply enjoying our life journey together with love and respect to each other and to all the people who we exchange body fluid with. Who do the others think they are? Lol, want to join us? Maybe just watch? Lol!
As predicted, he tried to chat (groom) with me online. I have absolutely not even one minute or an inch of patience for you, maaan. Please save it for other wives still trapped in their picture-perfect marriages. I mean, the patriarchal society is the ultimate culprit for the unlimited amount of unhappiness. Still, some women are genuinely free and hard-boned, like me, who dare to exist and live however we want, out of your imagination, obviously. So, ya, there's no point in trying to match up to people like me.
The woman this Indian guy arranged for Thursday afternoon is a white woman in her late 50s. She has been married to a black woman for over 20 years, but started exploring recently. Before marriage, she had had sex with men; she is more bisexual than a lesbian. Raj loves older women, so it will work out just fine. She met this Indian one and a half months ago, and they have been playing together, just the two of them. This would be the first time she has ever been with more than one person in bed.
We were 15-20 minutes late because of the kids' classes. The time all four of us had was Thursday afternoon from 3ish to 6ish. For us, it's actually from 4:30 to 7:30. We arrived at around 4:20. The woman seemed very nice, open-minded, chill, and attractive in the sense of a very well-maintained figure. Turned out she swims 4-5 times a week.
I'm always the most relaxed and chilled, and if you start hearing me bragging about the guys I have been with, you would know that I don't like you that much, or I don't really care about your opinions at all, if you are a man. Well, that's about most men I met, with minimal exceptions. Ya, I started bragging about the guys I have, the young ones. "Ya, 22, 26, 20. Yup, the youngest is 20. Well, what can I say? I like the young ones, they won't stop, hahahah!" "But her best are the mid-30s." Raj added. "Ya, exactly, my best are mid-30s. Because they are mature enough and most of the time better maintained, because they are financially better off! My friends have been telling me that I'm doing a great service in raising the younger generations hahahha!"
Hence, the mood was made. Raj went ahead smoothly. She hasn't had a penetrational style of sex for more than 20 years; she couldn't take that much, but it was okay for a while. But this guy, lol, this guy couldn't. He said it was because of my spotting (IUD). Well, whatever you say. I was like, "Yaa, of course, no worries! Although none of my guys mind this, sometimes they make a crime scene out of it, lol." I was delighted he couldn't, because his thing for me was almost nonexistent, plus I was merely sucking it up so my husband would be happy and would support my other endeavors. During our first in-person vibe check, he showed us a photo, bragging about his thing. In my mind, I was like, "Dude, do you know how many thousands of them I have seen before? I used to receive hundreds per day. And they don't mean nothing! Unless you say it out loud, the length, etc, sending me a photo means absolutely nothing. Anybody with a 3 could take a photo like that." Then he stayed no more than 1-1.5 without being hard the whole time. I was like, "Wow, this is what it's like to be in that category. I am entirely unfamiliar with this! All I have seen, for my whole life, before this adventure, is a giant. And now, I have only seen more in this adventure, but not less. The guys who matched up to my husband's, they called themselves bulls, well-endowed, hung. The guys I happened to keep are all in this category. But you know what, it's not about the size, it's never about the size, but about your dad's hotel, your new BMW, your heritage from your dad, and your eye-talk. On the contrary, men really don't care about women's sizes, because there are so many places in our bodies that they can get in, and their minds are laser-focused on getting in. But until the day you see men systemically discriminated and wholeheartedly humiliated because of their things, exactly like how women are bullied and humiliated because of our bodies, we are still very much living in a patriarchy. In a society that is not patriarchal, men with insignificant things would be deselected over time and naturally die out, all men standing today would have ginormous possessions. But you will be just fine, dude, with your dad's hotel, your new BMW, your Y chromosome in DNA, you will be just fine, getting whoever you want and waving your thing on the faces of whoever you want, with sexy eyes."
Raj took a long shower because of the smell this guy's body produced. I don't think Raj could take it many more times. He said, "You know, in my family, we don't have this gene; it's widespread in India, for sure, but luckily not among our family." I was like, "Oh sure... I'm not sure if I could take it; maybe love would conquer everything?! lol..." He was like, "And you know what, in my family, we also have huge ones, it's in the genes. I've seen all my cousins in the village; everybody has a giant!" "Oh, really? Hmmm..." I just couldn't stop laughing in the car, seeing a frustrated but proud Raj.
Will there be a next time with this guy and one of his women? Only Raj will decide, lol!
How I looked in a hotel with Raj.
People must have thought this guy got a hot young one from somewhere,
behind his wife's back.
People must have wondered how much I charged for head vs full service.
I am definitely overwhelmed currently. Raj has been at it full on. Somehow, he found many couples to play with on Thursday and Friday! They are all quite nice people, highly educated, and intellectual. I had so much to talk with one of the women who has a graduate degree in Art History from Columbia. Her husband used to be an aerospace engineer. Both are in their early 40s, live in the same city as us, 10 minutes away. A little beautiful garden with many flowers and weeds that we can pluck and smoke lol. This will be Friday, and we will go to their house since they have no children.
Raj also went ahead and planned with my guy! He asked me many, many times before. Each time, I hesitated like a chicken; I was like, "No, no, no, I can't." But over the past two weeks, I have asked him two times for the same night in an emergency. Guess who urged me to ask? Ya, Raj. Luckily, with my guy, planning needs to be done a few weeks, at least ten days before. Think I don't know about that? That's why I asked! Knowing it won't be him. And I sent messages in our group chat so Raj could see them. But Raj eventually planned with him and told me, "You are welcome."😭
I was like, "Did you guys have my consent planning it?" 😭
Of course, I want to see my guy. Nobody knows how much I have been wanting it. But I don't know how to react when I see him. Raj was like, "Should I cancel then?" I was like, "Oh no no, don't...." 😭
From now till then, I will have to practice... I got almost two weeks...
I will have to train or trick my mind into a state of absolute calm and nonchalance in the sight of him. I will have to come up with a list of things about him so I can go over it from time to time to remind myself that no matter how much I feel about him, he stays cool about me, so you also be cool about him, girl!! I will have to look into myself, see how gorgeous and arousing my body is, like a sex goddess, and keep reminding myself that's why all guys want to have their hands on you!! I am an experience, I am the ultimate definition of "fuckable". And they are an experience for me too, being in their strong arms, soaking in their sweat, cum, and satisfaction, the cosmic connection between us at that moment. Then we can go back to our separate lives and continue whatever we were doing. Everything should be confined to that specific time and space.
If I can get through this, I shall officially graduate. I will graduate into a man who is privileged in our society, a society that has put these principles into practice since the birth of men: separating bodily experience from emotions.
Hope I graduate! 😭
They can easily do it - A is A, B is B, everything is factual. It could be the society, maybe it's just the way their brains are wired. But for us, we often take A and B with us, and after we leave the room, they start fermenting in our imagination, sprout, and flourish into entirely different shapes, maybe Z and Y. It's a powerful ability, don't get me wrong. However, our society is not made to foster and encourage such an ability; it deems it inferior. The infrastructures of our culture make preying and feasting on people who naturally possess such an ability legitimate and a piece of cake. Hence, what, say it out loud with me, we should suppress it, if you want to be a good player in this world, their world.
Therefore, the first and most important tactic in dealing with this issue is refraining from conversing, online and offline. Conversations are the soil for fermentation. Talk your heart out with people who are safe, safe like a stone wall of a fortress on high hills where nothing could penetrate. Fine, there surely will be conversations filling up the breaks. Play brain dead then, act dumb, act insensitive, act obnoxious. They can conveniently curl the iron curtains up to feast on you, and they will, for sure, uncurl them once they are done, leaving you in the cold and dark. Build your own iron wall, build a switch too, and learn to control it. Imagine it as a performance. Ya, exactly, trick your brain to think it's all just a performance, then you will put yourself through it, no matter what.
I think I'm getting there slowly, a little more practice, and I'm good to go.
It started because I told this girl friend about the fifth. The girl friend showed me that she really wanted the man. One thing about me that will never change is that I always act on my best intentions, not even one hair on me is stained with impurity, and I have unlimited energy, sympathy, and kindness. If I can sense it, and I can actually sniff it from miles away, that there is room for me to be of some help, I will dive in head down, giving whatever I have.
So, I spent a lot of my time facilitating these two to meet and play. I wanted my girl friend to enjoy her life to the full and experience whatever she dreams about.
The meet and play was set to happen on Saturday night. The girl friend said she never had orgasms before, she never experienced anything that I take for granted daily - satisfying sex and oceanic orgasms. I threw my hands up, told the two, "You got this, it's your night! It will be her first time ever, her introduction into our world, introduction into sex and orgasm, even. Can you imagine that?!? I don't want her to be overwhelmed because she might be unfamiliar with three-way dynamics, don't care about me, and put her first. But hey, come to me whenever you are done satisfying her." By Friday night, I had become merely a messenger of the two. I had become nonexistent. They made it all romantic between themselves, via me, "I won't send her text just yet, even though you already gave me her number. I want to wait till she is all covered in cum and sweat and losing her breath and brain in my arms. It's more respectful that way." Okay, whatever you say, lovebird!
Eva had a kink of being choked, slapped, and she wanted pain, while the 26 y/o was a "hyper dominant" who loved to choke, slap, and give pain; he loved violent sex, I guess? I absolutely can't do it, I would want no one to give me pain or really choke me. I mean, many men did put their hands on my neck, but not heavily because they knew I couldn't take it, and my husband was there to protect me. Quite on the contrary, I love men being gentle and respectful with me. I'm turned on by gentle men with soft voices and gentle hands, especially if they are intellectual, who could spark deep conversations with me. I love men who are focused and are into details, but not in an emotionally possessive way, only the way they naturally approach and study things. The two were excited to be wrapped around each other's choking hands and strong arms, I understand entirely. I'm glad you guys found each other, lol!
But my husband didn't like the sound of it at all, the way they both couldn't be fast enough to treat me like an inconsequential third wheel. The way I was so obviously used and so quickly disposed of. It didn't say anything about me, but everything about them. He insisted, "No, it's your party. Everything is at your grace. You are The Queen. You gotta own the place. If you can't enjoy yourself at events like this, then there is no point at all in making such events. You, yourself, are not charity; your time is not charity. Only the extremely fortunate ones could get their hands on you, by your grace. Most people in this world can't even dream! And you can't always put yourself down like this, it hurts me, please don't do it. I don't want to see you always willingly sacrifice yourself and let everyone walk over you. Now go to the list of your guys, ask each one of them, see who would be available, and pick one to add to your party. This is why, since the beginning, I have urged you to come up with a list of them; it's for emergencies like this. And you make sure you enjoy both of the guys at your party. Don't be shy, go ahead and touch both of them proactively, grab them, kiss them, climb on them, hold on to them, and make them yours. You are the queen, you own them all at your party. In any case, if no one was available to join you, I would come and take you away. I can't be at the party because she is a friend of mine too, but ya, I'll come and get you out of it, I'll open a room next to them and make you my queen!"
Hence, I did. In my list, the first three, two early-to-mid-30s, one early-40s, are posh guys with posh jobs. They are busy, like us. One of my new (vanilla) friends once tried to ask me out for an event that would happen on the same night. I told him, "I'm sorry, but events with me have to be planned weeks before. I am, in general, always booked." The same goes for my first three fancy guys. One was going to the symphony, one had plans with friends, and one had plans with family. Two of them really missed me, and we planned for the next meet and play, within the same conversation. Ya, the one I was in love with has the highest profile and is the busiest. Well, actually, they three are in entirely different industries, you can't really say who is higher profile than who. He never would initiate the planning, due to the nature of his job, I guess. He appears to be the most cautious and reserved. But he was really sorry he couldn't come and wanted me to update him about the night. At this point, I am hesitant to play with him because I fear catching feelings again. I genuinely enjoy my nonchalant style of peace, and I want to continue being a man. To be honest, he didn't do anything to make me fall out of love. [Holy shit, Raj just went ahead and planned with him!! The bond between men who are both super intelligent, respectful, and responsible is beyond my understanding... I'm so fucked!!! 😭 But I'm overwhelmed right now, I can't think about it. One thing at a time. What should happen will happen...]
Luckily, my fourth, the most recent acquisition after the club crowd encounter, had the flexibility. He is a restaurant server, 33. I asked him on Saturday morning; he said work would finish at 10:30, and he would surely come after work was completed. He was thrilled that I thought to ask him and couldn't wait for the night. He gave me a positive feeling from the club encounter and some conversations we carried on in text afterwards. I believe he is a decent human being with sincerity and honesty. He also asked for my Instagram earlier. I checked his profile, and he seemed like a warm human being who loves traveling and enjoys time with a diverse group of friends. Even though we haven't played a three-way yet with my husband, my husband approved him and was glad he could help me in the emergency, on such short notice.
The fourth one is the strongest. All of them are tall hunkies, two are 6'2, and have big builds, but the fourth one surely ranks at the top. He does lift up the best; it seemed like a piece of cake for him, and he can sustain a long duration of time in that position without getting tired. Although they all love to hold me up and do that often with me, holding me in their arms, making me hold on tight to them and kiss them, the other three can only do it briefly (Actually, the guy I was in love with doesn't do that to me, he is not 6'2, tall still, he can, but he doesn't do it). "I can't wait too! And I wanna be lifted up." I told my fourth on Instagram.
He had a little gym section before heading to work
I had my music performance at 8:30 p.m. It was a huge success. I played well and danced the most on stage. As a team, we all grooved with music skills and style, and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. We were all so proud of ourselves and felt truly uplifted. Our friends and family also loved our show, and we got them on their feet to dance! I had my first round of massive fun for Saturday night.
I didn't forget about my commitment. The girl friend simply couldn't wait. The show was delayed for half an hour, and she said, "If you need to cancel, don't hesitate." The idea of canceling never appeared in my head; I am entirely unfamiliar with it. Did I ever cancel? Even once? No, I never put myself in the center so that my decision could kill the buzz for the others or even cause any slight inconvenience. I always first think and act for other people's enjoyment and convenience.
But I did need time to shower and dress up. At 9:50, I told my girl friend that I should be ready by 10:45. Her Uber arrived at my place at 10:25. If you gotta wait, you gotta wait.
We got into Uber, excited for the night!! "Now let me inform the guys our eta. Ya, surprise surprise, I got another hunk! Yeeeee!"
When we arrived at the hotel, the 26 y/o 6'3 was waiting, for her. I spent 10 minutes checking in. Then I found them hiding in a corner, she on his lap, his hands all over her, their faces stuck together. "You two already started!" They turned to me, bright red lipstick marks were all over her and his faces. On her nose, her chin, her cheek, all around her lips; and his face too, a wide bright red mark around his lips, some on his chin and cheek too. I have never seen anything like that before; it was pretty funny. Neither of the two intended to invite me in; the place where they sat had no room for me. I stood there, scrolling my phone. 5 minutes later, they wanted to move to the room. "You guys go ahead, I will wait for my friend to come and join you guys. Save some for me, okay?" "You got a friend?" The 26 y/o asked. "Ya, I got my friend A to join us." The two walked away with the room key while still holding onto each other, their lips stuck together while walking. I told them earlier that red marks were all over their faces, and they tried, but nothing came off. Still quite funny.
My fourth arrived in another 40 minutes. He kept me updated while I was waiting by myself in the hotel bar. My husband was on the chat with me the whole time while I was alone. My fourth explained that a group of young girls were celebrating a girl friend's 21st birthday, and he was taking a lot of photos for them. "They wanted the photos from all angles. I took many photos for them, and they were very happy." Then he had to clean up the tables and the floor, the girls had brought a lot of glitter that was scattered everywhere. "Awww, you are such a sweet person." I sincerely commented.
"Let's go upstairs, put down the bags, and go for your two tequila shots," I replied. My fourth said he routinely needed two tequila shots with a beer after work, plus a joint of weed, to ease into any night activities.
We kept chatting and opened the hotel door, room 735. The two in bed had an entire hour to themselves by now. "How was it? Are you guys having good fun?" It looked like they were entangled in each other's arms and legs. She hid in his arms, smiling uncontrollably. Their faces had been cleaned up by then; there were no red marks anymore. "This is my friend A, we are going to get some shots across the street. You guys be good, okay?" "Are you okay? Enjoying your time? You feeling fine? All good?" I leaned closer to make sure my girl friend was in a good state, not hurt in any sense, and had control of the situation. She looked completely smitten and was having the time of her life. Her "first date ever", her own words, seemed so far, so good. While the two were in bed, they had no intention of getting up. The 26 y/o did ask me to come closer, and we kissed a little. I told him, "Save some for me," following my husband's instructions.
A and I walked to the local bar, where people were singing karaoke. It was a cozy Oakland bar filled with mainly black people. Bouncer checked our ID, but A couldn't find it in time. There was only a broken half, the half with his birthday on it, so the bouncer let him go. But A kept digging into his wallet, eventually he fished out the new ID, and ran to the bouncer to show him. I really liked this behavior, a very sincere and honest human being. A got his two tequila shots and a beer, and I tried his beer. When he was in the restroom, an older black woman talked to me. She enjoyed the sight of us, wondering if A was my boyfriend. I replied, "Hmmm, a friend :) But ya, he is a sweetheart." She was happy about us hanging out together. We chatted nicely, and she gave me hugs and compliments. She loved my sparkling, shining high heels covered in crystals. I hugged and praised her back.
I checked my phone, husband was waiting for me to confirm my safety. I told him A was a sweetheart, don't worry about it. The plan was to send him three messages: the first one when we arrived at the hotel, the second one when A arrived, and the third one when I was enjoying myself with A and he was safe to be with. Then he could go to sleep. Now, three messages were complete. I also saw the 26 y/o sent a photo. I clicked one photo of us and sent it back, telling him we would be back in 10 min.
A and I kept chatting, and we conversed very naturally. He was very easy to talk to since he would like to answer my questions with as much detail as he could provide, and he was very free to share his stories, with nothing to hide. He talked with a typical black swag, which was quite new to me; I had never been close this way with that kind of swag. For a moment, I felt he was the black version of Forrest Gump, in the sense of sincerity.
After his joint of weed, we went back to room 735. We had never stopped chatting, talking about all kinds of random stuff. I was curious about his life, the work he did, the places he went, and the countries he enjoyed the most. He wanted to save up and buy a condo in Thailand and eventually retire there.
Back in the room, we got to business, sharing a bed with the other two, who had never stopped their actions. It was her last day of period, and red spots were everywhere. But at least one side of the bed was clean. A got into lifting up right away, I guess that was something he loved to do too. I couldn't stop joking about it because in the club, at one point, my hands slipped and I thought I would fall, but obviously he got me. I was like, "Don't drop me okay, I know you won't lol, remember in the club? You almost did? Or no, you won't let me fall. I know." "Baby, of course, I won't let you fall, never!" "Baby, tell me how you like it, I will do as you want it." We chatted naturally, not whispering, but in our usual voices, filling the room. I moaned whenever I needed to, I laughed as much as I wanted to, and we conversed about whatever was on our minds. Meanwhile, the other couple didn't make a sound, quietly but nonstop pounding. They also didn't make a gesture to interact with us. Maybe they were whispering to each other, but I wouldn't care; I had my own business. The couple eventually moved to the restroom and spent almost 30 - 40 minutes there.
"Eva hasn't eaten anything since breakfast. We are getting some food." "Sure! Are you guys coming back after that?" "Ya, most probably." "Okay, have a good lunch! Waiting for you here!" While searching for shoes, the 26 y/o had a nice peek at A's dong, ya, dude, bigger than yours, lol. A and I continued chatting. "Have you fallen in love before?" Then he spent the next hour sharing stories about his two times of being in love. The second time was with a Thai mamasang. This guy loves Asian women.
By the time the couple returned from their burgers, A and I finished his love stories and got back to having our second round. The couple whose tummies were finally filled bounced back to their business immediately. Husband made me cum really hard on Saturday afternoon, while I was taking a nap, recovering from the previous night with Leena. But I felt the need to cum there in the room. A was helping me. It was a little hard to achieve, considering all the circumstances. But A patiently tried out many positions for me. How fast, how slow, how deep, how shallow, he wanted me to give him an apparent instruction, and he did accordingly. We tried for at least half an hour, took a break in between, adjusted the positions, speed, and depth, and didn't give up. Yes, I did cum at the end. I screamed for a good twenty seconds.
"How did you feel when I cum? Can you feel me squeezing you?" "Ohhh, so if you were not in high speed, you could feel more. If you were fast, you wouldn't feel as much!" "Oh, so you keep reaching my cervix, right? How does it feel? Do you like it?" "Oh, you feel it playing with it, wrapped around it, oh wow! Like a soft surface you can dent in, right?!" "You know when I was the most horney? Let me tell you! See, I have been masturbating since I was a teen, okay? But the most horney was when I was pregnant with my first, the second trimester. I couldn't stop thinking about sex, not even for one second, with a baby inside of me!! Can you imagine that? lol! I was as horney as a teen boy, maybe more! That's why MILF is a legit thing, okay! hahha!" "So what, you got the freedom to decide who to give free cookies to? What about the customers who came and said, I got a promotion today, or I got a divorce today, would you give them free cookies?" "Oh, why are you the most loved server there? What do they love you for? How do you know they love you?" "Oh, you did that? That's so sweet of you. Once we were in a hot tub and a group of women, most probably on a cruise for their high school reunion or something, one woman had mascara all over her face, those other women classmates, none of them told her anything. That was so mean! I, a complete stranger, almost went ahead and helped her clean up her face. Then one of her close friends appeared and rescued her. I am so glad you are kind and direct this way, it's very sweet!" "What? What's cauliflower-steak?! I would never imagine, that's so funny, lol!"
After I cum, A didn't continue since I needed some rest. We resumed our chats. A lay there cozily, and I sat curl-legged, facing him. We were as comfortable as we could be, naked, nonstop chatting on random stuff. Laughing and spilling out whatever was on our minds, filling up the entire room with poise and confidence. Meanwhile, the couple stayed quietly, in action. And for a long time, in the bathroom, 20 - 30 minutes, in action as well.
Amid my amazement about the vegan dish "Cauliflower-steak", the couple was done and decided to go home. "You guys are done? Had fun? Happy? I hope you satisfied my friend?" "Oh, she came 3, 4 times? Oh wow, I didn't hear anything, but goooood! Job well done!" We all were dressing up and packing to leave. "Anybody missing anything?" "I just need my Kindle." Eva took her Kindle from her bag and held it close to her heart. Ya, ya, we all know, you are such an avid reader, of dark romance. A helped me with packing, clicking the buttons on my fancy shoes. He had trouble unbuttoning my fancy shoes when we arrived, which was pretty funny. Now it took us a long time to tighten the shoes, still funny. "See, these fancy shoes are difficult, okay?!" "Yaa, I'm saurry, lol..." A held my bags while walking us out. Eva got an Uber for us. A sent my bags to my seat, he didn't want me to leave them in the trunk since I could very much forget about them.
While standing outside the hotel door, waiting for Uber to arrive, I heard the two lovebirds, who had been stuck together for four hours exclusively, having this conversation: "Don't overthink, okay? You often overthink, right? I know it." Eva sweetly commanded, like a sweetheart.
The moment Eva and I sat in the Uber, I asked, "How was it? Good pounding? Hunky enough for you? Good orgasms? Satisfied?" She ignored the whole hunky part, but started telling me these: 1. "How can you say he is not smart? He knows so much about geography! He can pronounce the name of my country correctly!" 2. "We have so much in common!" 3. "He is going to Europe to travel, I think he is not as broke as you said!" 4. "He told me, 'You are so hard to read', awwww!" 5. "It's not me who is getting into trouble, okay? It's him, he is falling all over me! He is getting in too deep!" 6. "When I told him I hadn't eaten since breakfast, he acted so fast, wanting to immediately take me out for food!" 7. "He was so much into me, in the restroom, he got carried away, didn't use a condom."
I took a breath in and replied nonchalantly, "Girl, first of all, you gotta calm the fuck down and stop acting so stupid. Secondly, and most importantly, if you don't want to die or get pregnant with their babies, make sure they wear condoms. All of them want to do it bare, unless they get tested right before they play with you, never take any risk. Your sweetheart tried to sneak into me without a condom on Monday, too. Raj saw it and stopped him. Raj has always been my guardian, as I said, all, but all, guys want to have it bare! Get a test done soon, just to be safe. His last test was in March; Thirdly, he did the exact same things to me on Monday, he didn't respect the three-way play like my other guys, he didn't respect the husband but grabbed me for himself, the entire time. My other guys know how to play team with Raj, they know how to properly rotate and take turns, but he doesn't have self-control. Raj always would take a long shower to leave me alone with my guy for a good 20-30 minutes. During that time, he kissed my mouth deeply and long, played with my hair, and kissed all over my face, shoulders, neck, and chest, everywhere, repeatedly, nonstop. And do you know how many times he looked into my eyes and told me 'You are so so so beautiful'? At least 20 times, in that short time. Usually, I get maybe 10 times, from the sweetest guys, throughout the night, though. He was a little too obsessive, so I told you very early on that he was obsessive, remember? And remember those messages he sent the next day about lifting me up? He lifted me up whenever he got a chance. When we were exiting the hotel, walking down the stairs, since our room was on the second floor on Monday, he lifted me up and held me to the gate. He was kissing me nonstop when I was in his arms. I am now 100% sure this is his trick; he does it to all women. He acts like he is in love with you, so he can prey on you and make you fall in love. How can you fall into such an obvious trap so easily? Forthly, how ridiculous it is that he is not broke? Now you believe he is rich? Why did he never even mention that he could chip in for the cost of the hotel and condoms? Did he bring any condoms? Europe my ass. Fifthly, smart my ass, he has absolutely no opinion on any topic that I threw at him, music, social issues, history. Yes, smart at talking dirty, seducing women, definitely not intelligent, at all. I kinda cleared him as my fifth, but hey, I never wanted to rush to play with him again, for myself. A little obsessive and different from other decent guys. Now that it's confirmed, I know exactly who he is and his intentions. Not an inch of it is good. It's also not because of age and lack of experience that he doesn't know what's proper during a three-way. He actually claimed to be highly experienced. But there is something very evil in his behavior; he is a predator, preying on women to fall in love with him so that he can exploit them. And he does this to each and every woman. So, ya, don't be stupid, cool the fuck down. He is never going to be in love with you, and you are never going to be in love with him. I know you act this way mainly because society conditions women to be indiscriminately emotional since birth, and we are brainwashed to believe that we can't separate emotions from physical. The truth is, we can separate anything from anything; you just need a lot of practice. Now I have done enough practice to stay calm and not be affected, but you are inexperienced, no matter how much I have already warned you. But you enjoyed the hunkiness, you had a fabulous night, that's all this is about. Now go home and sleep!"
This is what I meant when I talked about dark romance. It is okay to be fans of dark romance, but if you box your life into its minimal version of the self-absorbed narrative -- you are the center of the universe, there will be a tall, handsome, smart, and rich, ya, he has to be rich, white, ya, only white, dude who has a huge dick picks you out from millions of women, treats you like a princess, gives you all the money and makes you his wife, stays exclusive to you forever -- your ability to judge is gonna to be totally messed up. And that is not gonna to be fun, but it will put your life in danger. No wonder I had never grown much of a liking towards it, not only because of the boring single version of a narrative, but also because of the potential damage it could cause to your brain.
The 26 y/o sent me a message saying "it was fun" after he arrived home at 3 a.m. I replied to him in the morning, "Fun? But you had zero interest in fucking me or pleasuring me like we planned earlier. I completely understand though, it happens, don't worry. I won't be inviting you to the three-ways, hope you understand." That was the last message I sent to him. He is out. In this game, I choose honesty, respectfulness, and decency, a little dishonesty and trickery, and you are out. I have been in this selection process for many years now, I have set up my rules and been following them strictly.
After three hours of sending the last message to the 26 y/o, Eva asked me if I had said anything about her to him. I was like, "To whom? Didn't I show you the screenshot of my last interaction with him? Out means out. It was my decision on qualifying or disqualifying him on my own game; it has nothing to do with you. You two exchanged numbers; whatever you do with each other, it's none of my business. I have many, many more people to go through, and I have a strict set of rules to follow. Business is business."
Then, after another 7 to 8 hours, Eva told me that the 26 y/o had blocked her after I sent that last message to him. It proved exactly what I said, didn't it? "I really like the way you and A were together..." We were pretty good, no? But one can't get everything one wants, right? And you didn't even say hello to my black friend, did you? The thing is, anybody can go ahead and build their own kingdom, and have all the different varieties there. It's utterly doable. But how diverse it will end up looking, it's everybody's own business.
What a successful night out. I have killed many birds with one stone. Let's count: 1. I picked a guy that exactly fitted into Eva's fantasy, she told me he was her "book boyfriend", exact word (just by seeing the photos and some screenshots of his chats with me); 2. I successfully introduced her into our world by giving her a night of fantasy and satisfying pounding, which granted her first-time experiences on many fronts; 3. I got to see through an evil, a predator, without having to go through more interactions with him myself. It was a quick, unpainful cut off; 4. I protected Eva from falling under an evil's prey; 5. I further qualified and confirmed my fourth; 6. I stood firmly on my ground and didn't let anybody walk over me. I showed them who the queen was; 7. I had a great night out. This whole thing was hella fun for me, to be honest.
I have built my garden and am its protector. I only invite people over to whom I have granted permission. Nobody gets to come and step over my plants and flowers. Nobody.
So this is what it feels like to be a man: bouncing around in different people's lives, don't leave a mark, or leave a mark, but stay unattached. The aim is to keep jumping, because that's what's fun.
I am finally living the life.
I can't complain at all. How much fun I have been having recently! They also have fun because they have been conditioned by society since birth to stay unattached and emotionally unavailable. Now I have finally reached their level. I have learned to play. I've had enough practice by now.
But I remain sincere and respectful. I treat each one who appears in my life, no matter for how long, with a sense of sacredness.
Now that my mind is trained, I only look straight and am focused. I get down to business, and my business -- well, it will stay forever different from the others. My business is to have a good time here, in this short journey on Earth.
I don't want to impact no one's life or leave a mark on no one. But I'll need people who are on the same wavelength to make it fun together.
No expectations, never expectations. People come and go, the most constant and universal thing is that change will never stop. Everybody is on their own journey. Sometimes our lines cross for a brief moment, sometimes for a while, but ya, we are moving forward in all different directions.
You are your own line. You don't "belong" to another line. How come? Children and mother? Husband and wife? Lol. A husband can never keep up with a wife's line of fluctuation and unpredictability, or creativity and vitality. How sick is our society, trying to force upon a twisted bondage of two individual lines, at the cost of one line completely losing its sense of direction?
I am enjoying it to the full right now, this sense of privilege, living like a man in a society that's built by them and serving them. And being the opposite gender who crossed over to take advantage of their system? There are so many more perks that men can't even see. Lol. I'm loving it.
I don't see race, and I also don't see age. The youngest I've connected with is 20, who has "mommy issues". He calls me "mommy," and I call him "baby." A wild, a little lost but not that lost, baby who needs me and other older women badly, so he "won't be wasting on therapies". He hasn't gotten onto my list yet; it's being reviewed. The 22 y/o didn't qualify due to his lack of experience, a second-generation Afghan. For men, experience is everything, and I didn't set up charity for him to gain experience through me. However, I couldn't completely erase him because he was literally begging me to take him along wherever I went; hence, he would be invited when we have larger events in the future. Meanwhile, the 26 y/o was "hella fun" (his words) on Monday night.
My friends commented, "You are doing a great service in raising up and helping our next generations." "Before they can settle down and have a family (families), they benefit greatly from the experiences with you guys!" "Who doesn't want some hot mamas like that when they are young?" If I were a man and I knew about this world, I would be taking one adventure after another with different types of hotties, especially mature and secure mamas who are way older.
But younger guys are not popular in this world. Somehow, for some reason, the majority of women love older men. Many women set up rules such as "No boys below 35 because I don't like baby dramas." "Below 35, they are immature financially, emotionally, and whatever." 35?? With their facial hair, caucasians at 35 feel like 45 to me, and I'm fundamentally intimidated by them. Beyond 45, my body shuts down at the thought of them. I'm not looking for a "mature" boyfriend or husband material to get settled with, am I? I could literally vomit seeing men in their 50s sending me long ping messages wishing to be matched - "I'll take you out to fancy dinners, have long walks in wherever," "You are perfect for me, I'm your perfect match" - Ewwwwww! Excuse me, sir, in what part of my profile couldn't you understand the clearly written statement, "For singles, I only like mature young guys in their 30s"? "Perfect match" my ass, you rotten stinky dictators/commanders who only want to put your hands on young hot girls. But I do have to suck it up if they come parternered with ladies.
The 26 y/o comes from a background I'm not entirely familiar with. Even though he grew up in Albany and Berkeley, his family was poor. His dad was a carpenter, and he started working in construction at 16, mainly lifting heavy stuff. Now a bouncer on Friday and Sunday in a Berkeley bar, he urgently needs two more jobs to pay rent. But he is sensible and sweet, and we communicate perfectly fine. The most important thing is that he has the most incredible body, in all aspects. A cute, sweet baby face too. The body build is not too large, not slim at all, extremely fit and solid. 6'3, which is a giant to me, I barely reach his chest. I didn't think about it beforehand until I realized that he couldn't at all resist the urge to lift me up, even when we were walking down the stairs to exit the hotel after we were done, holding me in his arms like a child. "It'll be hard not to just scoop you up and kiss you the moment I see you." He wrote to me last night when we were planning the coming Saturday night, among a hundred other hot discussions about the night before.
"Oh my fucking god, why was he blessed with such a beautiful d". (I couldn't stop laughing seeing her using the adjective "beautiful". She is truly new, yes, E baby is massively hung, but that's about most of the guys I've met on this side of the world.) "I don't know where it all fits. I thought it was only in books, apparently it's fucking real. Unbelievable. I'm honestly in shock." ("His apartment looks pretty clean, like what he claimed.") "Oh yeah. I wasn't even looking at that!" My girl friend and I had a blast planning out and analyzing thoroughly. It will be her gateway to this world, this Saturday night. Well, as a writer, she mainly intends to enrich her real-life experience by observing us. Nobody says anything about participating, especially since an agreement with her partner hasn't been initiated yet. It was very easy to convince her since she is now a writer of such encounters exclusively, and 6'3 is essential for her, being 5'10. I guess I found the perfect playmate for us all. What a lucky dude!
He is indeed a little different from our usual acquaintance. He has absolutely no filters, no pretentious sophistication at all. He speaks and acts following his most primal instinct. He couldn't stop reaching out to hold me around my waist, merely a minute after he met us in the Moxy bar. After we sat down to chat a little, within three minutes, his hands were already working their way into my pants, with Raj sitting next to me. Don't all men want to do that eventually? Most of them would strategically suppress the desire and wait for the "best moment", but to be honest, secure and confident women like me don't enjoy too much of pretension and bullshit. Nobody needs to impress me with their intelligence or whatever; we all know exactly what we are up to. On any given day, I appreciate straightforwardness much more than obscurity.
E baby treated me respectfully, unlike some other older men who made me feel like I was being used. E baby kissed me a lot, all over my body. He loved how I looked at him. "Your facial expressions, oh, I love it." "What exactly are the expressions?" "Saying how much you enjoyed it and you wanted more." "Hmm, ya, I like to tell you with my eyes how satisfied and pleased I am." He would look intensely into my eyes and tell me, "You are so beautiful." When Raj was taking a shower, he didn't just grab the chance to pound me more or harder, but he took the opportunity to make sure I knew how he felt about me, and how beautiful I was. He repeated the phrase "You are so beautiful" at least 20 times, amidst the nonstop kisses deep in my mouth, face, neck, and shoulders. He was inhaling me whole. He has no breaks and no blocks deep in his mind, and I really appreciate a personality like that.
"I remember earlier when you said you liked that I couldn't control myself around you. That's true, when I walked out of the shower I had every intension to put my clothes on, but I saw you sitting cross legged, naked, and I just had to fuck you one more time 😘" I think this pretty much sums up our first night and more nights to come. Somehow, I like it when he calls me "good girl". And obviously, I love this journey to be shared with my beloved girl friends too.
Gawd damn! 6'3 of this!!!!
Kill me, choke me, whatever!!!!
Damn I'm still thinking of you riding me last night 😮💨😘
I liked it too I liked how every time we stopped. You would just turn and wrap around me to get a kiss 😘
You were so cute reaching down to stroke me and when I fucked you from behind till you screamed 😈
I wanted to pick you up and enjoy you at the end but didn't have a condom
It was so hot how you moaned every time I pushed inside of you
I'm glad you enjoyed you were so tight around me
God i can't wait to fuck you again 😈
I loved your facial expressions when you took me 😘
Just the look of pleasure as you road me honestly 😘
Especially when Raj fed that plug up your ass
It was super hot
It was also cute how overstimulated you got when I took you from behind
Ya it seemed like it was too much in that position that's why I stopped and checked if you were ok
Lol thank you, and ya if it ever hurts or feels uncomfortable just say stop and I'll stop immediately
You did you little sex pot although not gonna lie I could've fucked you for a couple more hours lol
Lol I'll pick you both up and carry you inside 😈
I'll throw both on my and enjoy every minute 😈
Awsome can't wait
Especially to have that cute little ass in my hands again
It'll be hard not too just scoop you up and kiss you the moment I see you 😘
I hope i get to feel every hole wrapped around me
I would like to see a plug in next time I fuck you 😈
I remember earlier when you said you liked I couldn't control myself around you. That's true when I walked out of the shower I had every intention to put my clothes on, but I saw you sitting cross legged, naked, and I just had to fuck you one more time 😘
Just showing you what you do to me 😈
I hope you get to taste it again soon, maybe share it a little 😉
Do you, good girl 😈
Eva's really hot and so are you it'll be hard to keep my hands off either of you 😈
I have to be gentle with you you're small and sweet, she looks like she can take a little rough handling 😉
Such a good girl I can't wait to scoop you up and kiss you 😘
I'll need to control myself might be rude to send you both back to your husbands with handprints on your ass especially her first time 😈
Just jamming on your keyboard, god you're adorable
Lol it is funny watching you playing so cutely and imagining carrying you into a Hotel room flung over my shoulder to enjoy you 😉
Hey can I ask you a question
When we were in the lobby you like how I slipped my hand under your skirt? You looked so sexy just had to feel you 😈
I'm a simple man and when I saw that skirt I had to have you 😈
I'll probably do the same to you this Saturday wherever we go 😘
Wanna be have a hand on that ass at all times, maybe on Eva's too 😈
I'll make you call me master at some point 😘
And of course you're fun and soo sexy
Lol ya but I'm mostly just teasing I do like you calling me the king though 😈
Especially while imagining holding you against me and kissing you long and hard
Or holding Eva while you're on your knees undoing my belt 😘
I like a wild woman 😆
I wouldn't have you any other way
Lol but one little correction: Her body belongs to her, but when she's in bed with me it belongs to me 😈
Well if she is I'll make sure to reward her, if not I'll punish her, don't know which one I'm looking forward to more 😈
Lol as I said I'll wait till we've met perhaps till she's a sweaty cum soaked mess gripping onto my arm, it's more respectful 🥰😈
Can't wait to have you both curled up next to me ;)
