Tiktoking for Kamala

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2024 Summer

 

Life

Tried LSD for the first time, 1/4 of one dose, a tiny bit of taste. Didn't see colors while tripping but the effect of alcohol was enhanced with dizziness, couldn't walk in straight lines for hours. Tripped while swimming in the natural spring water without any clothing. Felt like a dolphin for half an hour, until I almost could not make out if I was in the water or head out breathing. 

And I was laughing nonstop, just giggling and laughing throughout the night, my stomach and jaws hurt a lot the next day. So later I realized, that is the core pillar of my nature! Basically, LSD brings out and enhances the true nature of a person. For me, I am not a worrying person, I would not be annoyed by no one, I do not mind any inconvenience, I would just laugh and giggle at the simplest jokes or funny thoughts in my mind until my stomach hurt! For hours we were lying next to the swimming pool and laughing. I laughed so loud friends had to remind me to lower my voice as if that would work or people would mind. Everybody was just dipping and chatting in the water naked. 

I was waiting for my mind to be poetic or wordy! Maybe next time when I start seeing colors with a higher dose, my mind will start to write too! The moon was so bright and round, I sat on the bench and told Raj the story of Chang'e. The hike in the hills was so pleasant with the cool breeze all over my nude body. 

I was indeed very sad at the beginning of the year when my grandma fell ill and passed away. Now I can say I'm finally out of it. Knowing that my prof was there for me helped me fundamentally. At first, he was very busy for months, traveling. Later, after I told him that I needed to talk with him, he was simply waiting for me to initiate the conversation but many times I didn't do it, just replied that "all is well". I think knowing that my prof was there for me was good enough. There was not much to discuss verbally anymore. I know what he had been through, I know why I chose my own path, I know I knew what was coming for me, and most importantly, I know we are in this together, that's it, enough to carry me through and get back to my normal self. 

Now I am light and jumpy again. I laugh and giggle at every encounter, I am thrilled and content about every experience, and I am curious and excited about all the new adventures. Life goes on. 

I'm sun I'm rain I'm rainbow