Husband

*  Conversation 1 *

Husband: I heard you are going to be put in prison for wearing inappropriate clothes.

Me: Ya, most definitely.

Husband: I think they should put you in "Horny Prison" since a virtuous good Chinese wife at your age should be cold and indifferent to sex, wearing long skirts that cover at least knee to ankle, and focus on cooking and caring for the others. Unlike you... 

* Conversation 2 *

Husband: Unlike you, I will have to be sober to drive you back home. 

Me: Hmm, I think you intentionally set me, this bomb, off by pouring drinks into my system, because you enjoy so much me exploding everywhere in the club, hopping on things, jumping up and down, showing off my weird moves and my ass. 

Husband: Ya of course, it's a controlled situation, a controlled bomb. Or else the bomb could explode somewhere else and cause a lot of harm. I'm merely doing a service for the society.