The rising star!

San Francisco Independent Film Festival. In Littel Roxie, we watched a block of short films, a total of four, Noah's "Pigs Fly" was the second to be played. People had a great reaction to "Pigs Fly"; they laughed and exclaimed, and at the end, they cheered and clapped. 

If I have time, I can be a great film critic. Used to write long articles in Chinese introducing iconic women-centric Indian films. What I'm trying to say is, I have incredible taste in movies. I only resonate with films that have souls. As a writer, only those wholesome and vibrant creations that have profound depths can spin the wheels of my mind and trigger infinite fathoming and wandering. 

Therefore, the level of the other three short films in that block we watched shocked me. I had no idea what SF IndieFest could be like, but I won't set any expectations from now on. Noah's film was way out of their league! I saw no soul, no depth, not even wholesome or reasonable creations in the other three. My jaw was dropped on the floor. One director was a very handsome young guy, while we were exiting, he was right on my face in that crowded hall. I couldn't bring myself to say a word to him. Just an "uh," a quick fake smile, then swiftly turned my face away while he was expecting me to greet him. That was super embarrassing.  

Leena and I started typing words on our phones and exchanging them. "What was that?! That was so trashy!" "Now you see the contrast and realize how brilliant Noah's mind is." "Noah is a rising star!" "Noah is such an interesting person with an interesting mind!" We were not able to hold ourselves back. And yes, Noah belongs to the world's top tier of filmmakers and thinkers. It will take some time, but he will surely reach there.

We went out celebrating, I got high with a new friend. As Noah and Leena were heading back home while the others continued entering the dance club, I held on to Noah. I was hugging him a hundred times before letting him go. Well, when I'm high on alcohol, I tell/show people my true feelings. I am as transparent as see-through glass! I kept telling Noah how much I loved and appreciated him, how brilliant he was, and how sure I was that he would be a superstar. Whenever I get a chance, I make sure to tell Noah how much I love him and support him for whatever he chooses to do in life. I want him to know that Leena is there for him, I am too, as much as Leena, at least according to my wish. I started doing this after Noah's incident last year. Vocal affirmation and expression of love are crucial for the people you care about. I need to let them know how important they are to me, maybe at a critical moment, that could be a part of their core strength. Noah is my family, with whom I developed profound emotions and relationships. 

Look how Noah answered the questions with such poise and lightness. Effortlessly exhibited his competency and charisma.

And yes, I made a new friend! She is Luke's girlfriend, the leading actor. She is so wild. Am I a collector of wild women? Luke is as open-minded as Noah and Raj. I sensed it instantly on the day when I first met him at the shooting. She is ten years older than him. He adores her to the core, even though they only met two and a half months ago. Whenever she said or did something nuts (according to normal people), he would lean forward and French kiss her like he had been waiting for this crazy woman his whole life. They once got kicked out of Cat Club. And they are both bi. Obviously, they also got our essential bio, which is interesting too. 

At one point, Leena, Stephani, and I, three women, went into the bathroom together because we wanted to see our breasts' sizes. We got in, at first, we admired but kept a respectful distance to the giant cock displayed on the wall; then we took off our clothes one by one so all could touch and measure the sizes and appreciate the shapes. They loved my perky nipples, which were sucked by two children in a total of 3.5 years. Obviously, we already knew we were three bi-women before all of this. We eventually stripped each other down to the knees to admire our fabulous butts. We bent down to take a close look; we grabbed them and measured their softness and firmness with our fingers.

I told Raj today, and he was like, "See, we guys can never do that! Showing our dicks to each other and comparing them? You girls are so beautiful and tender, you can do whatever the heck you want." Well, if we couldn't even appreciate our objectified bodies together, what fun is there at all for us? 

Sometimes, I hate myself to be able to only fall in love with men. Why not women? Why? Women are so kind and emotional, they understand how I feel and they will always make time for me. We three bi-women with the "men love(s) of our lives" actually have the exact same problem! Why not women?!?

Stephani, Luke, Raj, and I continued in Cat Club. I ended up kissing and dancing provocatively with Stepahni on that high stage when the crowd below cheered for us. Forgot how much Stephani and I kissed in front of the whole club, but ya, we were wild, and a lot of tongues and fingers were used. Maybe next time, Raj and Luke can kiss each other too.   

Leena's 33rd birthday is coming up, and we will have a lot of girls' nightouts. I'm feeling miserably sad that I couldn't meet the person I really want to meet for such a long time. I don't even know if we will ever meet again. Things change all the time. I lost taste in relevant fun because of this situation. I often found myself silently crying to my pillow. I wanted so much to talk to him all the time, but I did not allow myself to do so because I was scared of bothering him. Therefore, I really need girls I love to be around. That's the only comparable delight right now.

Went to SF today, it's good to be out in the sun and walk for hours.

I haven't got Influenza A yet, I'm waiting...