Painkillers

Been living off painkillers for a week now... Thank heavens for modern medicine. Without it, I think I would have already died during childbirth; even if I had survived, the rest of my life would have been suffering from chronic pain. Or maybe you don't call it chronic pain in my case, but either way, endless suffering. Maybe I would not have survived during childhood! Who knows!

I think this round of pain was fundamentally triggered by herbal tea. Obviously, I miss drinking tea, and I miss it to death. It's been there in my life for as long as I can remember. But since 5 years ago, my stomach started to react to it, I abstain from tea, coffee, and anything that causes acidity. "You should try herbal!" Raj had been nagging me about drinking herbal. Men always think what they believe is absolute correctness, despite your objections based on your own experiences and feelings. 

He had gotten into my head so much, even deep down, I knew my stomach actually reacts to herbal (tea bag) too, I started drinking it one day. Don't get me wrong, I literally fought with Raj constantly, telling him I knew I couldn't take herbal and begging him not to bother with it. But how much of such swinging and persuasion could I endure? In such a triviality of matter, I usually give no thought. One day, my mind finally shut down, and I started believing what he was telling me. A typical life story of mine. Why do women ever want to live with men? I am forever puzzled. 

For an entire week, I was down with severe stomach pain, and since then, my lining has not bounced back. This week, it was just all the things, perhaps the Indian food, which was a little chilly and had too many other spices; perhaps the gin mixed with citrus concentrate; perhaps the lemon pickle S homemade with a unique recipe... My stomach gave up and on the brink of an explosion. Literally, anything caused me severe pain. Thought maybe it was over after three days, but something else would trigger it one day later. Maybe the soup of Pho even! 

Right now, I am all alone taking care of the kids, all I can do is pop pills in the car and stay away from any food. But I need food in my stomach to blend with painkillers! Now, I also wish there were food pills for humans who dislike dining because eating causes so much trouble! But if you take those unnatural pills for months or years, your stomach must be in complete disarray and full of ulcers! Arrrrrr!!!!!!!!!! 

Will never forget how I was in unbearable pain this morning because the effect of the painkiller hadn't kicked in yet, but driving back and forth to the fencing studio for an entire hour, that fast too, to catch up with time. The pain subsided by the end, and I immediately got out of the car to watch my kids' competitions... A typical mother's life -- forever mixed with pain and blood...