学印地语

印度老公突发奇想，给小朋友们报了网课学印地语。 

从小朋友还在肚子里的时候我就告诉他，“你坚持和孩子们说你的母语印地语，他们自然就会说了，我就会坚持和孩子们说中文，这样他们会中文。”但老公从没真的有一次做到，说几个字印地语就换到英语，没说一句印地语就换到英语，所以孩子们和他之间一直都是英语交流，一点印地语都没从爸爸那里学来。 

按照老公的解释是，“我们印度人对语言很随意的，我们觉得都可以啊，语言不代表我们的文化，只是交流工具而已。印地语由梵文而来，但因为印度悠久的和各方民族的融合历史，印地语本来就是一个混杂的语言，就像英语一样，有很多历史上各种文化的元素在里面。我们家的文化呢，在家庭观念、宗教信仰、生活习俗、价值观等等上面来传承，不需要语言。而且英语也是我母语啊，因为从幼儿园上学起就是用的英语，所有系统性的知识比如数学、物理、化学、地理等等，写日记、写论文、考试、参加工作等等，都是英语。” 

然后因为老公和我是用英语交流，为了尊重所有人，人群里只要有一个人用英语，他们就自然而然换到英语来交流。那种发自骨子里的对他人的尊重很难因为坚持说一种语言而被压制下去。我们很多印度朋友也是这样，因为孩子的朋友、学校的老师、邻居、社区的熟人都是用英语，他们只要出门在外就都用英语，久而久之和孩子们在家里也用英语了。 

不知道这段时间印度老公受了什么刺激，有天突然回来跟我说，“哎，老婆，孩子长大找工作的时候，简历里面有三种语言很好的也。” 我惊讶得眼珠都快掉出来了，“我这个都跟你讲了十年了也，十年了也，你终于开窍了啊？” 

于是他自己灰溜溜地找了一个远程教育网站，给孩子们注册了印地语课程，一星期一次，一次一个小时，两个孩子一起和一个老师学习基本的印地语会话。顺便也学学印地语的字母和拼写，这样他们旅行到印度街头也会认几个字。今晚就开课了。 

可能我也可以在边上偷偷学下～

Da Bomb

 

Night Out

记忆里的中国，梦里的故乡

最近中美之间的航班终于多了一点，爸妈顺利出关飞来美国了。

这个夏天我去了印度但是没有回中国，一来因为那时来去中国的航班不多，二来那些抹黑污蔑我的虚假信息视频充斥着中国网路，怕有爱国粉红在机场什么的把我认出来，脑路不对乱举报一下，我自己是没啥，我两个那么小的孩子会怕。

中国是什么时候变回到那个让人们害怕去的地方的？

可厦门还是记忆里的样子，美丽开放，令人心怡，承载着多少少年时美好的回忆。

那时的中国人笑在脸上，甜在心里，和世界各国友好相处，来去自如，因为对未来和前程充满了希望所以宽容大方，善良纯真。

当年中国那种对生活充满了无限希望的感觉，这次我在印度感受到了。

希望有一天中国能找回自己那个充满魅力的样子，而我也可以安心回到魂牵梦绕的厦门去看看。

人生路上一起走的朋友

在一起十三、十四年了，一起走过大部分的二十岁和三十岁，一起找到了伴侣，一起长大成熟了好多。

但是蓦然回首，竟然各自一点变化都没有，都还是十三年前那个二十岁出头孩子般的样子，那个一起在伯克利校园里窜上窜下说说笑笑搞怪不停的样子 😊

Since you asked

 

Inquiring if I do 3, 4, 5, 6, above and beyond? 

Well, send me a nude photo first, I might let you know what to do next. (erection required)

Apple skin

They told me the story over and over again, with pride, as if it was the only correct way of living. 

Jiujiu grew up to be a lazy fat man with much more greed, my mom stayed humble, hardworking, self-sacrificing, kind, and pure all her life. 

My mom always wanted a boy, but my dad was okay with me being the girl single-child, therefore eventually my mom accepted, over the course of 30+ years. 

Whenever she was in her mood swings or overworked, which is very often, she would scold me with harsh words like "Girls are worthless!" "Women are useless!" "I wish I had a boy!" over and over. Sometimes it sounded like she was referring to herself, sometimes it sounded like she was not happy about me. 

Nevertheless, I hated acting girly. Never played with dolls, never had long hair, never knew how to comb my hair (of which Raj is annoyed with thoroughly), never knew how to "girl talk" or "girl act", and never wanted to worry about what I wear, each batch of my friends consisted of more boys and I never really had anything like bff or whatnot. But boys all had secret crushes on me, I mean all. 

When I was a teen, I tried to walk like a boy, talk like a boy, and study and achieve better than a boy, which I did throughout my teen. 

Popo told me this story many times when I was on summer vacation back from my college companying her, I would take her for a walk after dinner along the river bank. She told me when she was pregnant with jiujiu, some of gonggong's old colleagues saw her in the street and pointed to her belly condemning "Useless belly, only could carry girls!" Before jiujiu there were my mom and my two aunties. With jiujiu, popo had several times of bleeding and scare of miscarriage, but somehow she made it through so jiujiu was born. They treated him like a pearl they had never seen.

For as long as I could remember, my mom was the one who secretly put cash in everyone's pockets, nonstop, every month every occasion every small big festival, my gonggong popo, my jiujiu, my aunties, and their children basically ate in my home every day. My dad would sometimes complain but he let it all happen. My mom is forever grateful to my dad. 

Years ago jiujiu and two aunties got into a huge fight, fighting over the ownership (compensation) of gonggong popo's old house. My mom gave away all her shares to jiujiu to make him agree on a number that the two aunties were okay with. Jiujiu was trying to snatch 95% of it initially. Half a year later, my mom finally remembered to tell me about it, and she asked me, "Would you mind?" I was like, "Lol, mom....Thank you for seeking my opinion but I don't want to take even a penny from this fight. Lol mom, are you kidding me?...I just wish they are good now and my baby brother and sisters were left out of all this madness." 

My dad was quite disappointed by the greediness that came out from such a sudden and eruptive fight, "I have given them so much my whole life. Your mom has been giving them so much nonstop!" Dad, you should read a picture book called "The Giving Tree", it's merely human nature, don't take it so hard. 

All in all, apple skin does contain intense vitamins, even more than the juicy apple flesh. 

New soccer season

What? Aditi's soccer team this season is going to be so good! I feel all those outstanding girls from last season have magically been grouped into this one... Aditi being one of the best girls obviously. She is median in height, actually on the higher side. She is slim, muscular, fast, accurate, and unstoppable. There are other two girls in the same category, one Asian, my daddy friend's daughter, and one Pakistan/Indian, Coach N's daughter. These three girls most probably get the best skills, the most flexible, and the most invincible, all three are super smart, got their brains on the field to learn, faster than most people's brains. 

Then there are three big girls in her group, all of them at least half to one head taller than Aditi, looking like almost teens already. They are tall and big, intimidating, with fairly good skills. One of them Hispanic, one of them black, one of them Indian, most likely Panjabi. How do they get to grow so tall, I have no idea. They could run and attack for sure.

Then there are two soft and tiny girls, I think it's their first time. Their moms are more active than them, shouting on the side of the field. They are a little scared and shy I guess, maybe not used to such a game where they have to run continuously. One of them is somewhat Asian, and one of them is Latina or white. Latinos here are undistinguishable from whites in our city, they look exactly like the whites, shorter and fatter ones, only when they start talking in Spanish you can realize that they are not white. Well, technically, they are white, 85%. 

I love being the coach. This season I only signed up to be an assistant coach with no major responsibilities, merely running around and yelling in the field when I have no conflict in time. But that's enough for me and precisely how I wish to help out in this game. It's ultimately good for the girls when there is a loud "girl coach" who keeps running from one side to another, jumping up and down, telling them they are strong and powerful girls. 

Can't wait for the games to start this Saturday!

Jiang Shanjiao, are you a virgin? Do you think you would be accused of being a slut after being raped?

Under the "Equality" sign, a Chinese girl asks:

"Jiang Shanjiao (a made-up name, mocking the female version of 'pinks'), can you match to a boy after high school (in prosperity)?

Jiang Shanjiao, dare you go out by yourself at night?

Jiang Shanjiao, are you pressured to get married because you are more than 30 years old now?

Jiang Shanjiao, is your hard-earned money going to be used to build a house for your baby brother?

Jiang Shanjiao, are you subdued to the social norms such as 'skirts should be long enough to cover the knees'?

Jiang Shanjiao, if your teacher sexually violated you, would you be expelled from school?

Jiang Shanjiao, do you think the police would interfere if your husband physically abused you?

Jiang Shanjiao, do you think you can't find a job possibly because you are not married?

Jiang Shanjiao, your parents wanted a second child, do you think it could be because you were a girl?

Jiang Shanjiao, are you a virgin?

Jiang Shanjiao, do you and your baby brother receive the same amount of salary if you have the same work?

Jiang Shanjiao, you have to give birth to a son, don't you?

Jiang Shanjiao, do you have periods?

Jiang Shanjiao, have you been financially supporting your baby brother through school?

Jiang Shanjiao, have you experienced discrimination in the job market yet?

Jiang Shanjiao, have you heard of the 'chained mother of eight'? 

Jiang Shanjiao, do you think you would be accused of being a slut after being raped?

Jiang Shanjiao, the house of your parents will be all under your baby brother's name, isn't it? 

Jiang Shanjiao, would you shave your head for your motherland?

Jiang Shanjiao, why must you use a black-colored plastic bag when purchasing sanitary pads?

Jiang Shanjiao, are you the same as me, who would cry after seeing the above questions?"

Hottest mama on the block

Now I'm officially the "hottest mama" in the neighborhood. Basically on Saturdays or Sundays when I'm in a holiday mood and kids still have classes like Fencing or Taekwondo, I show up in provocative dresses such as a really short and airy skirt, matched with a tiny top, without a bra. Well, it's just my most natural expression on my day off. 

No mid-age mom ever dresses up like this, which is why I utterly enjoy it. Because unlike most mamas, I got that much confidence to carry myself with elegance and poise, with no shame and no hesitation, because these dresses on me are as natural and lovely as my own skin which I'm immensely proud of, because my marvelous mind which is never polluted by those backward doctrines is written all over my blazing body.

Daddies in good body shape couldn't resist watching me and trying to figure out my background. Young guys in good spirits love to stare at me and guess my age, often approach and ask directly. And I love to be watched and figured out. 

Well, all these dresses were hand-picked and bought by my husband. Sometimes I'm simply too lazy to dig them out and put them on, he urges me to. "I love you being the wildest woman on the block with the most provocative dresses! Love it love it love it! Please always wear revealing dresses because it brings out your true spirit. Remember when last year you were in France like a dolphin back in the ocean, wearing those tiny loose tops from where your breasts and nipples were popping out, I since felt obsessed with the way how comfortably you presented yourself and how open the society was in this regard. You were so naturally familiar with this environment after living in France for two years. Seeing women under that sky is such a satisfying pleasure. Now I get why so many people say French women are the most attractive." 

What can I say, open-minded Indians are without boundaries. Hippie culture, gypsy way of living, yoga, yogi, yogini, Baba, Shiva, Goddess, nature, animals, mud, oil, trees, meditation, love, and tolerance, Indians by far have the best contribution to human's pursuit of happiness and enlightenment. And when an open-minded Indian man meets a rebellious and confident French woman, a "hottest mama on the block" is born. 

Raj and I have been talking about the root of my wilderness, and the impression of how I grew up finally registered in his mind. It was difficult to comprehend since it was completely different from the soil he and his sisters were rooted in. "Do you truly think it's okay for you to be nude or topless in front of our kids in public?" "What are you talking about? Of course! It's perfectly fine. My mom was often nude in front of me at home and when we went swimming in the pool, all women in the bathroom were nude taking showers together, more than ten of us. Taking showers and baths together in full nudity is a common practice in China either in the north or in the south. In most of the north due to lack of water, there only were public baths. Everybody does it, men, women, and children watching their moms and dads. My mom also hates bras, she needs them because she has much fuller and heavier breasts, so beautiful, way bigger than mine. But when it got too hot or when she was relaxing at home, you can always see her breasts and nipples without extra covering under her half-transparent silk pajamas. Yes, in front of guests too, and my home was filled with visitors every day. Obviously, China is still famous for its gender inequality and women suppression, and my dad is not a feminist in some contexts. You just gotta grab whatever is there to arm yourself. If nudity was an element of your childhood, grab it and put it to use. All in all, I am confident about my body, and the way I don't like to hide behind extra clothing is because of how my mom was open and natural with her body, and how she never felt shame in any way. I am merely passing down the good values to my children." 

Today when I was listening to the podcast where Ms. Cai Xia commented, "Officials in the south were much more open than the officials in the north (during the early years of Chinese economic reform)", it clicked. Yes, my dad has always been the romantic, "Westernized" and open-minded pioneer! He has traveled around the world through his job, he has read tons of books that helped him break out from his cage, his rights to live, thrive and learn were brutally snatched away because of the fetal famine after Great Leap Forward and during Cultural Revolution, and he has been reborn into a new entity when China finally opened up its door to the world as well as its society to individual liberty on human intimacy, sexual adventures and a certain degree of individualism. He installed the concept of bodily freedom and sexual liberalization in my mom therefore my mom turned out to be the person she has been. 

In Wechat if my dad forgets to like most of my posts, he would never miss the chance to click a like on my posts with tiny weeny bikinis, bareback or random naughtiness. He loved all of Khajaraho's sexual stone carvings. And guess what, my prof and Tony support me in the same way, respectfully. It would be abnormally odd if I were not living in my wildest self and not being the "hottest mama on the block". Yay! 

Never let the dream of freedom die 永不让自由的火焰熄灭

Insta "@chineseuncensored" wrote: 在东伦敦的阴影下，一座座墙壁被鲜红的宣传标语喷涂而成，红色恐怖在此滋生。社会主义核心价值观的红色口号挥洒在墙上，犹如血的颜色在夜幕中鲜艳夺目，悄然传递着权威的警示。 

随着红色恐怖的蔓延，东伦敦逐渐变成一个毫无隐私的恐怖之地。个人的自由被拘束，思想的多样性被压制。红色宣传标语无处不在，它们像哨兵一样守护着每个角落，镇压着异见，剥夺着个体的独立思考。 

在这个反乌托邦的社会中，人们逐渐失去了独立思考的能力。红色宣传标语如同催眠术般影响着他们的意识，将他们引导向权威所期望的方向。每个人都开始逐渐模糊了自我，变得渐行渐同，只有红色的统一在他们的视线里闪烁。

然而，在这片被红色统一的灰暗之中，仍有少数人默默抵抗着。他们悄然行动，试图在反乌托邦的浪潮中保留一丝自由的火种。虽然他们的声音微弱，但他们的信念坚定，他们相信在黑暗的深处仍然有一线希望。 

但红色恐怖的力量是强大而无情的。那些试图挑战权威的人很快就会遭受打压，被沉默于恐怖的虚无之中。东伦敦的街道逐渐沦为了一片死寂，只有那些红色宣传标语继续在墙上闪烁，象征着权威的控制与统一。 

在这不断重复的悲剧中，东伦敦的居民渐渐遗忘了曾经的自由，他们成为了一个个无声的群体，被红色恐怖所奴役。而在这片绝望的土地上，唯一的希望可能只存在于那些心中仍然怀揣着自由梦想的人，他们在阴暗中默默等待，期盼着红色恐怖终将走向灭亡，自由的光芒将再次照亮东伦敦的天空。 

（精彩的乔治奥威尔式预言叙事文字生成自ChatGPT✨）

Google Translate: 

In the shadow of East London, walls are sprayed with bright red propaganda slogans, and red terror breeds here. The red slogans of the core values of socialism are sprinkled on the walls, like the color of blood in the night, quietly conveying the warning of authority. 

As the Red Terror spread, East London gradually turned into a place of terror without privacy. Individual freedom is restrained, diversity of thought is suppressed. Red propaganda slogans are everywhere, guarding every corner like sentinels, suppressing dissent and depriving individuals of independent thinking. 

In this dystopian society, people gradually lose the ability to think independently. Red propaganda slogans act like hypnotism that affects their consciousness, directing them in the direction desired by the authority. Everyone began to blur themselves and become identical, only the red unity flickered in their sight. 

However, in this gray darkness unified by red, there are still a few people who silently resist. They act quietly, trying to preserve a trace of the fire of freedom in the tide of dystopia. Although their voices are weak, their conviction is strong, and they believe that there is still a silver lining in the depths of darkness. 

But the power of the Red Terror is powerful and relentless. Those who seek to challenge authority are quickly repressed, and silenced in a terrifying nothingness. The streets of East London gradually fell silent, and only the red propaganda slogans continued to flicker on the walls, symbolizing the control and unity of authority. 

In this repeated tragedy, the inhabitants of East London gradually forgot their former freedom, and they became a silent group, enslaved by the Red Terror. And in this land of despair, the only hope may lie in those who still have the dream of freedom in their hearts, waiting silently in the shadows, hoping that the Red Terror will eventually die and the light of freedom will once again light up the sky of East London. 

(The wonderful George Orwellian prophetic narrative text is generated from ChatGPT)

***

Within a few hours of the grotesque graffiti 

Jing

On call with Jing for 2 hours, and I have to say this, after 10+ years of encouraging/urging her to leave China, study or work abroad, she finally started to feel the impact of the economic downturn and the ruthless authoritarian control on her son. 

Last week when we chatted, I decided to let go beforehand, didn't want to say a word about how bad China is going to be. I decided to finally respect people's choices. So I only talked about how my life here is about bringing up the kids, and pretended that I was not aware of the falling of house prices and the bleak outlook of the economics. We had fun talking, she opened up more because she didn't feel that I was imposing anything on her, I assumed. 

Yesterday she called me, that never happened before. Usually, I am the one who is worried about them, and urging them to prepare for passports, visas, cash, and things like that. And most of the time they thought I was an alien who betrayed the motherland. Tonight we finally got to talk, she was not saying anything for the first five minutes, and I asked "Tell me, what do you want to discuss? You have something in your mind?" "No no, you are tired, you should go to sleep." "No, I can talk for some time, don't worry about me, tell me, let me know what you think." Then she started talking about how bad the situation has become, and whose fault was it. 

She was like, "So that economist was hinting that if a company is not going on well, it's the fault of the top management. Isn't it that clear? What's the difference between information inside and outside of the GFW?" She has circumvented the wall for years due to her work but never cared to keep an eye on politics. 

"What's the difference?! Inside GFW there is nothing that can be discussed, absolutely nothing! You think such a 'hinting' is good enough? So do you know exactly what happened or what he did that led to today's tragedy? Can you give me a timeline of events? How did he step by step broke the relationship with all major countries? Or broke the relation with America, once Deng Xiaoping said 'China's foreign relation is all about China's relation to America', what actions he took at what time that led to this? Do you know any of it? This is called information censorship inside GFW, people don't know anything! Now people like you finally started to feel the impact and figured out your main enemy. But people like us have been shouting and trying everything to prevent this for tens of years! I had known my personal risk for 14 years but I fought nevertheless, I fought hard. The ending was tragic because my parents got so scared when I was Cultural Revolutioned, they went through a lot because of me. Oh, you were wondering why I stopped talking about things for the past two years, what rock were you living under? All of my accounts were deleted!!! Gone, disappeared, I have absolutely no access to them! Do you still think what you hear inside is all to it? When you talked with me last time, I pretended that I was not aware just to make you feel better, truth is I know everything. Everything you mentioned, I know exactly how bad the situation is in numbers and statistics and the cause of it, direct, indirect, and root reasons. I have been knowing this for years and tried to warn you guys for years. You said 'Maybe the downfall was only temporary', no, let me tell you this, we saw it coming for ten years, he has been doing the damage for over ten years now. 2019 was the best for the next 10, 20 years to come, at least 10. The downfall just started, it will continue to fall, fall off the cliff, and there is no way back. Now your window of running away is shrinking drastically, last time I checked, there were 2 or 3 years left, as of today, I would say only a good year left for you to sell your apartment, prepare documents, apply for visas and leave, before the iron curtain is completely sealed for most Chinese. For Gods' sake, I have been urging you to apply for Ph.D. or work abroad for ten years now. Ten years!" 

Now finally and suddenly, she is serious about it, we went through several feasible paths, Ph.D., immigrant work expansion in Canada etc, hopefully she is real this time and eventually gets somewhere. If she ever gets to run to Canada, I'm gonna be visiting her often! Yay, I am happy.