Leena ♥

It is really hard work, I had sweat dribbling on my face, my back, and my ass. It was difficult to breathe under the n95 mask and my glasses under my sunglasses gave me a headache. For the whole time when we were on campus, I was trying to shake off the feeling that "what morons we must look like" and convince myself that "we had no individual identity but only a message we had the audacity to show to the world".

Without Leena, I would never be able to do it. When I was barely putting myself together, and trying very hard not to act down but up. Leena was super strong and tactical. She wasn't able to wrap her head around herself, but she was able to come up with surprisingly firm and encouraging comments such as "It's our first day. We are only trying out, and we will keep trying and find which is the best place and best time. We should come at the proximately fixed time each weekend, in the same best spot..." The other times I tried to lighten up the mood by talking serious nonsense mostly I couldn't understand myself, she knew I didn't know what I was talking about, also we didn't want anyone to hear our voices, so we were in silence for the longest time. 

As usual, I was very scared that this is just a one-time thing so I didn't want to set any expectations. It's a lot to ask, no? It's not her country, not her people, not her life. On the contrary, it's really hard work, walking around in that heavy disguise and standing in the sun for hours holding up the banner, to no one, to people who couldn't care less, or to something unpredictable. There were Chinese kids who knew exactly what it was and laughed in our faces like it was too funny a joke. But she did all this for me.

I couldn't stop ridiculing myself in my own head, however, I dare not share it out loud, not sure how it was gonna affect her. I was worried that it was too hot or too tiring for her so I kept asking if she was okay. I wanted to try out different places but I was not sure if she was on board. And then we were holding that long banner, walked down a mile to a place with nobody, stood there for a while to nobody. Then again walked up a mile, found the most ridiculous spot where kids lying on the grass or eating snacks, stood there for 20 more minutes and were laughed at by more kids. It was good to try out, but she did all that for me. 

Then on the way back to her car we parked streets away, we couldn't stop ourselves from cracking up. How ridiculous we looked, an Afro-man with lady boots who adopted a new way of walking with a limping leg; next to a short curly hair kid carrying a backpack who was trying to walk like a fat but jumpy Latino man. Luckily it was Halloween so nobody thought to call the police about two suspicious potential bank robbers.

We couldn't stop laughing on the car ride back home, tears all over my sweaty face and big hair. How typical of us, when we are together, we are forever unbelievably fun. Nobody else shall be able to understand. 

Then Raj called, asking where we were, the four of them were on campus and looking for us. How dare they! All that efforts to conceal our true identities, how dare they tried to bring the kids near us and break all that we built! Should we have a family group photo together then, with the banner? For Goddesses' sake, we tried to look like some campus kids who had no clue about family and kids!

I really wish Leena won't back out and will be in the mood to continue being by my side for this ridiculousness. And deep down I know she feels my sadness and will do whatever helps me ease my pain. Leena is my protector who has a priceless pure and golden heart.  ♥