Nate showed me what it truly means to experience love and lovemaking by constantly pouring his heart into me. I don’t think I ever believed this could happen - that a smart, attractive young man would suddenly show up in my life and decide to stay, dedicated solely to loving me, regardless of whatever social contracts or commitments I was already in.
I guess he saw right through me from the very beginning. He saw the authentic, genuine me hidden beneath all the layers of distraction, and with fierce, hot-headed determination, he wanted me and nothing else. He kept digging and digging until he finally dug me out.
Hence, here I am. After a full seven months of that, I don't think I am capable of going back to casual hookups with random guys who have no real affection for me. I simply can't go back to sex without lovemaking anymore.
The threesomes, foursomes, group sex, and beyond served their purpose for their time - they were a vital part of my journey toward sexual liberation. They actually played important roles in my life. I have absolutely nothing to regret there; I hold only good memories.
That said, I do still want to continue attending one-night-stand-style sex parties at various venues across different cities, or even continents, alongside the groups of couples who have become our great friends - like my Greek Goddess and God, Tomás and Kat. But as for threesomes with random single men? I no longer want to experience sex without affection. If single guys want to get into my pants, they will have to take their time building a genuine friendship with me. They will have to make the effort to win me over and allow us to fall in love.
Being in love has now become the baseline threshold for any other man to enter my life, and I have Nate to thank for that. From here on out, I’m going to be completely upfront with them.
This change of direction coincided beautifully with my entry into the gateway of spirituality. I am learning to become an animal communicator, and I have experienced what it truly feels like for consciousness to merge into the boundless One, during lovemaking. Because of this, I have started to view my body as a sacred temple - a space where my lovers come to worship and fill their hearts with love and happiness. From now on, I can only allow true worshipers inside. It is my beautiful, saintly, pure temple, with heavenly music playing within.
I don’t know how many worshipers will come to show their devotion and dedication to this temple of mine, and I don’t expect them to reside inside forever. But as I simply exist in calmness, I welcome them with an open heart and mind. Whomever possesses the will to show true devotion may enter, staying for whatever duration suits them best.
I am just existing - as the ground, as the earth, as the clouds, and as the sky. I am simply here, with my arms wide open in acceptance, ready for the endless love that I am capable of giving.
