Absurd incident

Something really absurd happened today with me and Leena. We were talking about the plan over this weekend. I was like, "Sunday Chantelle is gonna come and teach me how to care for Lulu, they will leave Lulu to my care for a week." Then Leena got to know that when my mother-in-law is in my house, Lulu will be there too. I also said, "Ya, that week I will go to office, so maa can be with Lulu in the mornings." Right away, like a volcano, Leena exploded... well at least that's how I felt when I was seeing all those messages. "My mom is scared, and she won't tell you she is scared of dogs!" "How can you do this Momo?" "You have to inform her right now about this, right now!" "How can you throw a dog on my mom's face?" "Then where do you think my mom can stay? Outside in the garden?" I was like, "That's so absurd of you saying all these... First of all, my commitment to the dog fostering was much earlier than maa's flight ticket; secondly, 'leaving the dog to maa in the mornings when I go to office' was just a thought, I will see what happens when maa is here, how she reacts to it. I do not treat your mom like a baby, I am equal to her, she is equal to me. And she is the most free with me, she is not afraid of me, she can properly express herself, we discuss things properly like adults; fourthly, nothing is decided yet, dog will be here only on 11th, this Sunday Chantelle is gonna come and teach us stuff. If maa is truly scared, I can take the dog with me to anywhere I go, if I go grocery shopping, my car has dog mode to keep her inside the car for sometime, I can take her to the office, or I won't be going to the office for that week. Worst case scenario, I can send her to the dog hotel where Chantelle has already arranged. It's not my dog, I get to return her at any moment. Who said I will 100% definitely 'throw the dog on maa's face' when maa is all swollen up with dog allergy and jumping and crying like a baby? Fifthly, talking about allergy, Raj is allergic to cats, but not dogs, nobody is 100% sure maa is allergic to dogs, maybe she is, maybe she is not. Raj is definitely allergic to cat, but nobody ever told you not to have cats, we were never mean about this fact. This trail is actually a good chance to see how maa reacts to the dog situation because if she's going to stay with us long term, or stay with Lipi who also will have a dog in the near future, the grandma definitely doesn't want to be the roadblock the kids will never have a dog in their life. Having a pet isn't supposed to be our own choice? But yes, I will consider your parents' situation, what about your cat? 'But I am not throwing the cat on their faces!' Again, nobody is throwing the dog on maa's face, it was just a thought, you could have just reminded me -- 'maybe maa is allergic and scared, ask about how she feels first', end of the conversation. Am I that kind of person who is so mean that I intentionally make your mom suffer or knowing but continue to put people in misery? [If you have not even such basic trust on me, then you don't know me at all]; Sixthly, I am not going to talk to maa about the dog yet, there is no point at all at this moment. If she is not free enough to speak up to anybody about her own discomfort with the dog when she is here, what do you expect her to tell me via whatsapp now? Again, I don't treat your mom like a child, I discuss things properly with her, it's going to be a decision made together with her when she is here, we have to see what's going to happen with the dog. Nobody is fixing on any plan as for now, so there's no point discussing the consequences. It was just a waste of half an hour. You are free to tell anybody you want though, but I am not going to, nothing to discuss about. 

She also tried to call me, but I just couldn't pick up, I told her to calm down, talk to Noah first. Later she said it's better to talk in phone, but actually all those things already been said, I really didn't want to pick up the phone and again listen to actual vocal scoldings. I told her I was scared of her. Yes I was, I have always been. Because I was in the sense of complying to a very young sister, very young, pacifying her, comforting her, always apologizing so she got to feel good about herself. Maybe now I am kind of done doing that, because it's not good for anyone, especially myself, now I am getting hurt from time to time. So if no, then it's no. Later she indeed told maa and papa the dog situation. Raj told me that papa called him, I was like, "So? What do you guys want?" Maa papa didn't tell me about it and I won't bring it up neither, there's absolutely no point. What a waste of time and emotions. I am not unthoughtful, I am not mean, I am not selfish, taking up Lulu was my way to love my friend Chantelle, they needed my help, when my mother-in-law is here with me, I will also love her and pamper her, help her find inner strength and freedom. That's the essence of me, I have always been doing such things day by day, month by month, year by year. And this whole situation has too many variables, not one single event is going to happen with 100% probability, therefore I have utterly no idea what is this fuss about.

Anyways, now I understand why I have never really built much of expectation for anybody, because rarely you find people who are as sensitive and mature as you who is constantly putting oneself down. Raj and I just discussed about this recently - now we look around, no other people/couples are in the same level of openness as us. Some people walk into wider and wider avenues, some people walk into narrower and narrower corridors, through time. Don't get me wrong, people are good, great friends and family. But being in the same level of acceptance in terms of accepting new ideas, trying out new things, opening mind to different worlds, rarely any couple in here are like us. For example, we couldn't come up with a couple who we could go to beach and enjoy with us in the most natural way. Well I know I am totally wild, the wildest artist/ painter/ writer sort, my type of people won't survive if we incline to close our minds, and I have been aware for a long time that most people's minds are not that open. At least Raj and I are walking bravely in our own path, even though we are mostly alone. But then, Raj told me today excitedly, "My friends here in Delhi, I went out with them for dinner last night, oh man they are wild, the things they talked about! They are very open minded! Nowadays Indians like me are very open, they do a lot of crazy stuff, husbands and wives. We are going to have a lot of fun here!"