No way back

 

Deep down, I always felt I didn't do enough to be with my people.

Left China when I was still in the brainwashed state,

gradually learned to be a Citizen (other than a Slave) during my time here.

I have never been thrown into jail or locked up in a dark room;

never been interrogated or confronted face to face.

Nobody came out of nowhere and seized me with handcuffs; 

nobody knocked me on the ground and kicked my stomach;

nobody slapped me in public, threw trash on me, and spat on me.

All the above commonly happen to people who fight for others' rights.

Most of them are secretly detained and tortured, 

some losing basic abilities to think and function physically. 

Went inside a whole human being,

came out a less-than-half disabled without words. 

Online violence and bullying, personally, didn't really hurt me

(my parents got hurt pretty bad emotionally, 

partly because of the side they were on).

I don't fantasize about being persecuted; fuck no, I don't!

But I am always always with them,

the killed, the imprisoned, the tortured,

the silenced, the violated, the suppressed,

the censored, the coerced, the exiled.

Now, America is also my responsibility.

There is no specific type or group of people here

who I feel "they are my people."

America means "All Kinds of People, Completely Mixed Up."

America is a concept, an essential concept of hope,

especially when you originated from totalitarianism.

To maintain it requires all citizens to act like they are citizens,

but not slaves who kneel and beg. 

The least I could do here is to speak up, openly and publicly.

Nothing, nothing is going to scare me from doing that.

I have no fear left for the Chinese totalitarian regime and Xi dictatorship;

do you think I have a tiny bit of fear for DT or EM in my blood?

Fuck No!

I never kneel, I never beg.

Haven't ever done that before;

don't expect me to ever do that in the future.

I will never back down out of fear.

I have no fear.