I have been keeping an eye on my blog's stats, for a little bit. On average, 15% of the clicks get recorded in Google Analytics, and 85% are untraceable. For new entries, clicks average from 20 to 40 in about a month. But that's not what people came to read in my blog! Most people came for old, really old entries! And they spend hours going through everything! Am I being audited? By the Chinese authority?
I was quickly viewing the click records in the backend and was like, "Whaaaaat?! Did I write something under that title? When?" Decades ago apparently!
I imagine there is a group of people, if not authorities, then mainly women, I assume, who know me more than I know myself! Where did I go in what year, what month, and what happened? Lol!
Nowadays, auto webpage translation is quite accurate. Judging from the old entry titles, a lot of Chinese readers come to read my English blogs.
How fun is it, right? Looking into someone's old diaries... I was keeping it for myself to read when I have no teeth no more. Maybe by then, I have lost all of my memories too, so I would need the digital diaries to have a feel of what my life was like back then -- the glorious times! Surely, I would forget where I stored those paper diaries like a squirrel, and if my URL is not publicly written somewhere, I would forget where I keep those hidden URLs, too!
What I did for more than a decade before I was wiped out of Chinese social media is now a distant, blurry memory. I spent a tremendous amount of my time daily giving free consultations to Chinese women in distress. And ya, with such great karma, I ended up being brutally abused by internet violence and got wiped out. China is a fucking weird place, not habitable. Now, America is moving in that direction.
Those women found me via Sina Weibo, where I had merely 30k followers because the main collective Chinese narrative hates India; I self-branded as an advocate of Indian culture, and I openly stated that I was married to an Indian man and trying to appreciate this culture that's different from mine.
The messages I would get daily in Tencent WeChat -- at least from 3 new Chinese women who encountered Indian men as love interests. Somedays, as many as 5 to 10, and some were quieter. They were mostly in distress, not knowing anything about India, being bullied by strangers or society in general, or being bluntly rejected by friends and family.
That was a busy decade when I was "reduced to merely a stayed-at-home housewife." I helped hundreds, most probably thousands of Chinese women. Gave them information on whatever I knew. I warned them about the dire situation for women's rights in India, the evil mother and sister-in-laws, the Indian men who could turn out to be lazy assholes because they were born to be entitled and demanding, without the will to move a finger for house chores. Besides introducing some customs and the beauty of the diverse cultures.
I have collected a massive amount of stories about Chinese women and Indian men, all kinds of stories, mostly bizarre and eye-dropping. Because only those who went through a shit ton of stuff would sort to find help online from a stranger like me.
Of the thousands of Chinese women, maybe one or two were Chinese men with Indian women. Why? Because Indian women were and are generally not free. Not free to find love for themselves, especially Chinese/foreign lover-boys. Rarely were Indian women coming to China to study medicine or do business. I remember the flight I took many times from Kunming to Kolkata, one time a whole plane crashed and burned to ashes, was always filled with men, Indian men. The only women would be the Chinese hostesses; they were the only ones who helped me when I desperately needed it.
Ahh, fun times too!
I don't know, after I was wiped out, if there was a place for the new Chinese women who suddenly found themselves at the center of abusive responses from their peers and Chinese society because they were spotted being with Indian boys to find solace and comfort; if there were some other people who would tell them whatever beautiful and ugly they knew about India and remind them to proceed with caution, in case the Indian men were already married with children back in India.
"You are the only person who could understand me," or "You are the only place I could go and talk about this issue; all of my friends hate that I am with an Indian boy!" or "Before talking to you, I had absolutely no clue about anything, thank you for saving my life!" I received such comments daily.
I did whatever I could and tried as much as I could. My conscience has always been clear. When I was under attack, except for maybe five people who supported me and got me through, I didn't hear from nobody else. Well, my means of communication were suddenly cut out, though. That may be the reason. But I wouldn't care; whatever people choose, it's their path and consequences. I can only mind my own path and my own choices. It's my own karma.
Funny that one Chinese Muslim girl found me on Instagram, and she spoke very strangely, asking me to be her master, she be my slave, etc. Recently, she got a sponsored visa to work as a maid under an Indian man and his wife. Eventually, this Indian man and his wife wanted her to stay and marry this Indian man. Maybe it's very casual for Muslim men and women to practice polygamy. Still, I warned her -- once you marry a Muslim, you lose all freedom, unless he grants you divorce, you are forever his property, you can never ever leave. Sadly, it was the life story of one close friend's sister. I don't know what's this Chinese girl's decision at the end, from her last communication, she was leaning to stay; but ya, I did try whatever I thought was right to advise her, like an older sister, like a mother. And I assumed she was a human being who valued freedom.
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