Roots

Told Shiva today we will go to India to live for a year or so, he got angry for 5 minutes. I guess he's at the age to grow roots with the land and people beyond the closest family members, and doesn't feel good to be uprooted. 

"But you know what, you are a minor, so you have to go wherever we go." "I can't decide for myself? Can't papa go by himself and you stay here with me? How unfair!" So he got angry. 

We have a saying among Chinese who live abroad: Wherever accepts me and wherever allows me to find comfort and peace within, it's my homeland. 

We are all rootless drifters, and that "wherever" sometimes is truly wherever. Wherever I can get visa or residence card, wherever I can find the means to survive, wherever doesn't hate me or reject me too much, at least not kicking me out and sending me back. But inside, a lot of us do not actually live in the "wherever", at least not full time. A lot of us still stay in the damp and glum deep swamp, because you can't really get out of swamps, can you? You just slowly sink and suffocate to death.

And even you want to call the new places "homeland", do they treat you as home folks? I don't think I care about that anymore, being alien is my brand. I like being alien, in fact, wherever I could be distinguishingly different from most people, gives me the thrills. 

So the pilot factory will be built in South Korea, Raj is getting visa already. Once the pilot factory rocks on, they will build at least 20 factories across India. I do hope one of the days when Raj has to spend a lot of time in SK, we get to join him for sometime. 

Even though they look like Indians, discriminated by their dark skin among the horrifyingly fair skined, I guess once people get to know they are from America, a lot of attractions will come. Heaven for Raj lol, he will just get high by saying "no" to numerous Asian girls wherever he goes. 

Oh man, Asia is wild. Once Raj was staying in a Marriott in Shanghai and for the whole night the landline didn't stop ringing asking if he "needed service". Hundreds of business cards with nude photos were slided in under the door. And he never even visited any bars or clubs in Shanghai. 

Not sure about SK, could be almost as wild as Shanghai, could be a bit more conservative, like Japan. It will be so fun for me to find out. Thailand and Cambodia were absolutely wild for us, people there were as crazy as Chinese, if you go to the right places. Even wilder I would say, because they speak better English and are used to foreigners, lol. 

India is extremely wild too nowadays, heard a lot about the parties. When Leena was there in Bangalore, all she did was crazy stuff. I love my French days, as much as Leena loves her Bangalore days. I think in the different corners of the planet, we were maybe doing the exact same crazy shits at the same time. Or maybe a few years apart. 

Subconsciously, I started placing the exciting things on top of other issues. Issues like how I am generally cared and helped by normal people here in California in random places. This time when my knee got hurt, I was always helped by passerby, they insisted on me holding onto their arms so I won't slip on the icy stairs, they walked me down the slop covered with water and ice and sent me to my car, they asked me if I was okay, if I got this, they randomly stopped and chatted with me about their injuries on knees or legs, just to make me feel better. 

I guess I will miss this a lot, especially when I will be either treated like a non-consequential and incapable or disregarded like an ownerless or manless, when carrying on my own and my kids' businesses outside. This is deemed to happen, maybe I should record the pattern of my reaction, such as for how long I could tolerate until the next explosion. Fun. Yup, I will never miss my chance to record and review the encounters and make a fuss about it. Fun.  

I guess I am starting to mentally prepare myself already, now it seems like this is going to happen most probably. I am happy for Raj and Panda's success that's on the horizon and I shall be ready for myself, ready for my children to embark a new journey, a new adventure. 

Maybe this is the fate of my life then, keeps changing forms, keeps drifting, never to grow roots, never to stay.