I thought a lot of work would help me a little, I thought keeping myself busy can cover it up. Tried my best to cover myself up and suppress it down. But I am not sure I achieved anything.
I'm struggling, I'm in pain, I feel sorrow and I do not allow myself to think about it.
No, I can't.
Maybe the ultimate truth of this Earthly life is about loss, about being incomplete and about loneliness. Even though you have everything that is to have, a life that most people will never dream to get.
After all it was a punishment for us to be here, no? What did we do, what did we experience? Was it unendurable like this one? Or was it something different?
I wish I had never seen it, never felt it. I wish I'm not connected. I wish to wipe it out entirely.
Maybe that's what I should do, wipe all that out entirely.
But ain't it all what I've been doing?
It's raining so hard outside, are you as lost as I am?
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