Balance

While chatting today, suddenly got super annoyed by Raj who kept interrupting and trying to "correct" me. 

"Isn't it what you always do? You are always right, I am always wrong. Can't even wait for me to finish my own thoughts? I don't actually know where my thoughts lead me to okay? I put myself into vulnerable positions like this because I trust you and enjoy our discussions. I allow myself to form my thoughts while talking to you, otherwise, I will be fully prepared beforehand and also in a stance of ready to defend and attack. If you don't even allow me to finish my thoughts, not only you will have absolutely no chance to change any of my thinking, I will as well leave you out of it, instead, go back to my own world and finish it in my own way by myself. If you wanna have your influence, learn to 'hear me out' first. Then you can help me by adding facts into it, that's how you get your influence."  

Then five minutes later...

"Sorry baby I got so agitated. Guess what happened in the past two weeks? Who I have been talking a lot to? Yes, exactly, we did so much talking, didn't we? And both of them, either it's in their nature or they acquired that skill from experience, so patient with me, kept listening to me, and asked questions so I was the one who kept spilling out my mind. I think it's both in their nature, as well as the way they were raised and grew mature in society. You know in China the environment for women is way better than in India. And averagely, either in their life or work, they are in closer contact with women. They have more professional relationships with women compared to Indians in the 'startup world'. You guys only know how to work with men, not many women indeed in your workspace especially not in close relationships with you."

I like it, having close relationships with not only your husband, not letting one man dominate your world. 

Usually, women have their fathers/brothers to bring about the important power balance. I have no brothers, but my dad did do it, in my early years with different men and Raj. Nowadays I feel like kind of losing a bit from that front because the mutual ground between my father and I have been shaky and impacted hugely by the environment. 

The five years I was working I had that balance too, with the same people. Now I'm only getting it back. And I love it.