Gangster mode

I swear I haven't seen such a ferocious face for years. Life here is peaceful, people live in calm rhythm, minding their own business, enjoying the small pleasures of being. But some of those who are freshly off the boat from China, they bite and bark for no reason, eyes filled with distrust, suspicion and hatred, revealing their sharp teeth to anyone passing by so to capture the higher ground better for attack.

Yes, Shiva should have by himself gone to the man's and showered there. He's not mentally ready yet, sometimes he gets super scared and runs back to women's to find me, plus Raj was not there toady. They quickly got inside the curtain and quietly doing their own business behind it. This Chinese women heard me speaking Chinese to them, when I was putting down fresh clothes on the bench near her, she started speaking Chinese to me. I looked at her, her eyes fixed on mine, widely open, like two big dark balls mounted in a hollow shadowy face, filled with disgust, contempt and the urge to rule and control. I tried to converse and explain, she couldn't stop herself giving out a complete lecture. I thought she was going to skin me with her teeth and eat me alive. She accused us as if my tall son was waving his hairy grown penis at her naked daughters. Truth was their shower rooms were at least five rooms apart, my son was completely unseen behind the curtain as her daughter, two of her other daughters were fully dressed and playing around outside. If my son was going to step out of the shower, he would be fully wrapped up in a shower towel. Unlike his mom, sometimes loves to dress up in the open, maybe her daughter should take a look at me and learn something about women's body and the beauty derived from confidence. What a close-minded ignorant Asian Karen.

She thought she could intimidate me like how she intimidates people who weren't brought up among gangsters. Truth is CCP is the biggest gangster on Earth, if you are so used to stomp around, bully the weak and order with your chin, you think you would be the only person who knows how to operate such a mode? The difference between us is, I have, since my childhood, chosen to stand on the side of the weak and low, and acted as their shield, a very effective one, because I came from your side. You really think I don't possess the mode that you are constantly on? I keep it off at all times and rarely switch it on, because I am kind and sweet. 

Earlier today I was just chatting with Raj about my first arrival to France. First time flying out of the palms of my parents, didn't possess much of life skills, only the will to see the world. My dad spent a lot on the Chinese-studying-in-France agency so my student visa was done properly, and I had a local guide to find me a housing before school and would walk me through things such as grocery, transportation, school registration etc. I think he came to Lille train station to pick me up. How did I get out of Charles de Gaulle Airport by myself, got a train ticket to Lille? I don't have absolutely any memory left for that. Maybe some guide in Paris picked me up and helped me with train ticket and luggages? Anyways. The place the Lille guide found me was an okay apartment, but I was under the impression that I should be only charged for 150 euros per month? Why they asked for 300? That was RMB 1500 more each month, are you kidding me? 1500 RMB could feed a whole family for 2 months! I right away went into my gangster mode, a go-to mode in China for self-protection. Hadn't I ever experienced that society in the free world ran under rules and order instead of law of the jungle, no need to show off fists and muscles. Rarely had I tasted the life in a civilized society where business is not operated upon personal relationships but the draft of laws. So I fought, I bit I barked I threatened I showed my claws and teeth, on the first night ever in France. And I accepted 300 per month afterwards because I was all alone in an alien place completely depended on these people who spoke Chinese. As long as nobody trafficking me for sex work or breaking into my room and raping me in the middle of the night, I considered myself lucky. 

Next morning I went to buy a long distance phone card for 10 euros, found a booth, pressed a long serial number and my dad's cell number, my parents had been anxiously waiting to know if I landed in France safely and settled down properly, for two whole days. Both my mom and dad were weeping on the other side of the line. I told them I was okay, the place looked safe, the local guide was helpful and I would go to school tomorrow for registration. The only thing was the landlord here asked for a different rent than what we agreed upon. "Just pay them, don't worry about money!" My dad commanded. I didn't cry until I hang up the phone. Even then there was no time and place to cry, didn't want to attract unwanted attention, so I swallowed my tears and toughened up. Through school I changed to a new apartment within weeks, and I quickly found many new friends from all over the world who could help me and get me used to the life in the civilized world. That was the beginning of my journey on the other side of the world. 

All in all, I wish that crazy Chinese woman eventually would transition into the peaceful life here and start enjoying little pleasures in life such as golden sunshine and white clouds.