People could be so different from each other. If I ever learned anything over the years, is to be with the ones who have similar values as you, and distant yourself from the ones either they don't think you are right or you don't think they are right. Absolutely no middle ground, because for friends you can always select and unselect. For families, you just have to bear through it, no base to discuss anything, resentment vs. the sense of obligation offset or overpower each other in different times. It's a tragedy, but sometimes it does happen. (lol before the war, I was actually constructing a "true-story essay" about this in my mind)
This is why I love being not too far from Berkeley where conversations and actions happen, and I love being with my husband and Leena Noah. We are literally very aligned when it comes to airing our voices for human rights, women/minority equality, racial justice, democratic movements etc. Well, nobody has the exactly synchronized views, but that's also the fun of it because you can discuss and debate. Raj and I don't agree on a lot of things, Leena and Noah neither I guess. Leena and I have different stand when it comes to race, culture and a lot of women issues, we often think from completely different angles. Raj and Leena always argue and not able to convince each other. Among us four, Noah is the most calm and the most capable of understanding multiple perspectives with supporting knowledge, facts and jokes. Over all, heated debate is something you can always find in our place.
When Russian invasion happened, we four all like the normal people with hearts, sympathized with the invaded. We are having information exchange and discussion throughout the past few days in our chatting group. Can't believe there're so many of them out there, just to prove their "superior views and profound knowledge", gaslighting others' sympathies. "Americans also slaughtered this, invaded that." Yes, so? You stop being a person who can differentiate evil from justice? Who sympathizes the murderers but indifferent to the murdered? Who believes in autocracy but not democratic process and basic human rights? Just as what Noah put it "It was wrong then, it is wrong now. How simple it is."
Chatting with one potential "could be friend" mother friend today:
"I don't think I would take that far to show support for them, they are Europeans, it's always about them, the whites. When the darker colored being slaughtered, nobody supported them, because of white supremacy. Plus America played hands in the wars."
"When did America stop 'playing hands' in anything? (supposed to be ironic, ain't today's post-WWII world order set up by the most powerful?)
First of all I don't think people in the globe support Ukrainians because they are white people.
Secondly, you don't know they are also subtly discriminated against in Europe because they're less wealthy and 'a little darker colored' cultural wise? A lot of East European countries are actually very diversified in races and cultures.
Thirdly, what is right is right, what is wrong is wrong, it's free people's collective fight against barbaric invasion and violation of human rights, I do not see the logic and room of putting the play of race and skin color here.
Fourthly, by supporting an invaded sovereign country which happens to be at the border of Europe but not yet fully considered 'European', does not undermine the struggle of racial justice in America or the world. We do support 'Black Lives Matter' movements and I work for nonprofit to help African women."
"Well, talking about 'Black Lives Matter', you know the founders use the donation money to buy houses..."
"I don't think in any organization or movement, you can guarantee that each and every member's hands are clean, it's also not necessary and irrelevant, we are not choosing a president via the movement.
If you believe there's racial discrimination and injustice in the system, the best way is then to speak up and exercise your civil rights whenever you can.
If you believe American government is doing injustice to the world, then it's its citizen's job to keep a watchful eye and keep the powerful in check. In this matter, the Americans ourselves have the best strength, because we have channels to make a voice as citizens, a voice for the voiceless in the world, we also have the vote in hand, that's the power to change cards. Like how we prevented the rising of America's own Putin, it's an ongoing effort still.
Anyways, I stand with all of the voiceless, deprived and violated and I do not see any of your arguments denounce the action of supporting Ukraine today."
Well, the chat was not exactly in the same wording obviously, but it's exactly what my impression was about the issue and the person I was talking to. So I guess, no potential anymore. Sorry that as you grow older, it's becoming much harder to let anyone in without thorough scrutiny and heavy consideration.
At such times, if I turn a blind eye, finding all kinds of random excuses to stay away from expressing my opinions, opinions as simple as how I view evil and greed, I can't, I just can't.
If I am still active in social media, to post my daily life like food, pet, pretty selfies, fun and all that beautiful and innocent lightness, I can't, I just can't.
It's Ukraine and Russia's war, it's the war of free people and dictators, it's also my war. And I have been dragged into the battlefield long long ago.
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