Been super busy! I do not understand how people have such demeaning image of "stay-home-moms", they never get to "stay at home"!
My children are so filled up by me... horse riding, Taekwondo, gymnastics, music, coding, now baseball...
Over the weekend when we were in Napa, both of my children suddenly acquired the skill of swimming independently. Last time when we were there, around new year, I forgot to bring their life jackets, that paved way for their water independence. This time, they were like two fishes. Life jacket? Not interested any more...
All these activities, actually mostly not my idea. I signed up a lot more initially, they tried and only sticked to what they like. I guess that selection process worked out fine.
Now Shiva decided that he wanted to play rock guitar! To be honest I was in a bit of panic attack after his teacher had a talk with me. She came forward after one class, told me that Shiva was really into guitar and extremely good at it.
What? I had no idea! I put the kids into some music school so they got to try everything in the beginner class. At least I'm not that kind of Asian mom who directly book some esteemed $100 for 45 min piano teacher, for life...
Ms. M told me 'every time Shiva would pick up a guitar and jam with the group', 'he never touched keyboard or drums', 'he's really top of the class, he remembers everything, now ready to move up, with guitar'.
And guess what, he never dared to tell me about it. Because from the beginning I was like 'ya, you learn a few years of piano, when you are a teen, you can choose whatever you like'. He never wanted to be against me and make me mad...
Why piano? Because we're Asians and we get this Asian mentality. Piano, violin, yes, classical, symphony hall. Guitar, pop dance, what, you're gonna perform in the street?
Ms. M told me that she was actually a piano teacher, she did see a lot of parents "forced" their children into learning piano and the children ended up hating music as a whole!
So I sorted to Noah for advices. He was like 'ya, a lot of kids learn guitar from young', 'ya right, white kids', 'no no no, Asians too', 'well, never heard of it, but can you get into good college by putting this in resume?', 'only classical guitar but not rock guitar I guess, but that's as strict, even much more strict as learning piano', 'hmmmm.....can the skills be transferred to playing sitar?' 'hmmm... ya! and playing sitar do get a lot of credit for college application', 'well, at the end of the day, I wouldn't want to waste my time and money right? sitar sounds like a good plan, I mean after he masters the guitar and composing and all that fun rock star skills...', 'ya, we will try to plant the love of sitar in him over the years', 'sounds like a perfect plan!'
And that's how I got rid of my almost panic attack...
Well, actually, even just right there when the teacher gave me feedbacks, I felt extremely proud of my son for whatever he loves, and I felt so moving that he was trying to protect my feelings. On top of that, he remembered what I said and took my words into real consideration!
What a sweet sensitive boy... Exactly because of this, it's just so wrong to brush aside children's opinions, feelings and passions, but only imposing your own stereotypical-fossil-like understanding about the world to them, as an old-bone wanker.
Been thinking about my grand novel all the time. It was just a little scene at first, a short story. But now this feels like a whole book with so many chapters. I am very excited about the ideas, and the ideas are so very typical me.
But guess what, one of the hardest fiction writing is sci-fi, even if you are a science major. For me, I can't even remember any element in the periodic table! I do urgently need massive knowledge make-up, chemistry, physics, cosmology, neural science. And sometimes getting the help needed from Raj is pain in the ass.
I would send the link of my blog or short story to Raj, and he would completely forget about it and never ever read them!!! And he would go on praising me 'baby, you are such a great writer, I always love reading what you write!' 'well, ten years ago!?'
Sometimes I just want some factual input from scientific angles by a science background person, he would show me typical management skills by pointing directions. Well, haven't women been following men's directions all human generations?
The only thing I'm lacking in this Earthly Earthy world is Time, only if I could have a few hours everyday to work on something that I'm so excited about...
But guess what, I'm also helping Dorothy get some funds to buy an ambulance for her village. A lot of my time went there and hopefully we could really get somewhere this time.
Nothing has changed, people still show up and then disappear, people still just want to take something from you or hoping to awe you with their "achievements", or people are simply caught up by their own lives 24/7.
The only one thing changed is that, this time I'm never ever gonna wait for no one other than myself, to take actions, to push the wheels forward.
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