My heart bleeds

I am not doing well. 

I don't understand why there is so much suffering in this world. 

I can't bear to live in such a world. 

I thought I escaped all that brutality by leaving China, but the truth is, escaping humanity's inhumanity is pure quixotism.

Am I the one who's gone mad, or is the world? 

Am I really existing, or is all this just a nightmare from which I could wake up?

Why does everybody act so normal as if none of them saw or heard a thing? As if nothing had happened?

Why do people fail to respond to children's cries for help? How can people allow the powerful to conduct such atrocities against children? 

How small people's minds are? How dark people's hearts can be?

Is this how it unfolds -- people, as a whole, gradually getting numb and falling into the abyss of authoritarianism and totalitarianism's coldness and cruelty? 

Or we, as people, never really had power?

Even when we were granted a certain level of power, we were too weak, ignorant, and deceived to accept and use it? Or did we take it for granted?

People are so selfish and short-sighted that they just couldn't see past the distractions and delusions in front of their eyes, and again and again fall into the same trap?

Most people do live in their tiny, dark, and lonely boxes without sunlight, don't they?

If I allow myself to be exposed to all the menacing crimes against the innocent children around the globe, how am I able to continue living? 

It takes a lot of courage to face the truth, that's why most of us choose to be small and weak, cold and distant, and choose to turn our heads away and shut our eyes?

Why is humanity always, always filled with slaughters, conquests, and oppressions? 

Endless atrocities — wars, genocides, extermination, eradication, and subjugation of entire peoples, they might pause for a while, but they will never leave us, will they?

Each powerful man has the potential to turn into a monstrous slaughtering machine, even with the whole world's helpless eyes on them?

Each society, no matter where it came from — even a high ground with absolute openness and freedom — could fall into darkness in a single night. It happened again, it will keep happening, isn't it?

What is wrong with us?

What is wrong with us???

An unavoidable path

I really hope with what's happening in China and Russia right now, people in the world, especially the free world, should wake up to the false anticipation of authoritarian economic models and delusions of totalitarian governments. 

Whatever progress China made after disguised itself into the free world's market, at the core it was by exploiting peasants who were forcefully turned into cheap laborers and at the cost of polluting & exhausting any natural resources possible, leaving behind air unbreathable, water full of heavy metals and a food industry utterly untrustworthy & filled with scandals. 

Your individual freedom, freedom of thoughts, freedom of information, and freedom of expression, it's not worth it to trade that for any amount of money. No need to mention your freedom of staying in whichever city you want, having whatever amount of children you want, either more or less, and your freedom to go out the door and buy food so you won't starve when there's a pandemic outbreak. 

The truth is what has been happening in China for the past almost 40 years is just a detour. A capitalism detour. They stole the idea of capitalism, without ever acknowledging the term "Capitalism", decorated with an authoritarian style of lawlessness and ruthlessness, and used it for money grab. 

Without a change in its political foundation, China will eventually go back to its regular path of famines and purges. 

Shutting down doors and tormenting powerless people is what China does the best and will surely happen more often and more viciously in the near future.

Making themself clowns, but you think it's an easy laugh?

When Elon Musk realized China's richest man is an idiot (Jack Ma)

1. This exactly depicts the huge gap between China and the rest of the world, featuring the difference in the mentality of people - leaders, intellectuals, industrial forerunners, experts etc; 

2. The reason for this gap 

a. A closed society, disconnected not only by GFW, also by constant communists propaganda brainwashing, extreme form of authoritarianism, the enforcing of absolute obedience, the cult of personality, the abuse of power in all levels and the worship & imposing of imperial-feudal mindset etc; 

b. In a society that's run by power, everything is circling around power struggles and every being is gradually tranformed and corrupted by the ruthless pursuit and consumption of power. The people who sits on the top of any form of organization, eventually loses his/her sane mind and judgements by listening to bootlicking and bullshiting 24/7. Who dares to tell the emperor he has no clothes on?

Ask Jack Ma, he 100% believes what his mind could think of is 500% correct and he 1000% got that godly inspiration directly from God. Oh wait, communists don't believe in Gods or Goddesses, but only themselves. So whatever came to his mind, itself is as holy as hell because himself is a true living God. Likeminded to all of our present and past dear leaders and all of the dear leaders around the globe.    

And this is exactly why and how authoritarian regimes are not gonna work and last. 

But until they are completely rooted out, not in any foreseeable human future though, how many more ordinary but weightless lives are gonna suffer and disappear, you tell me. 

Who I Am

Sending these to my husband: "Oh wow, my video 3 years ago, now I'm translating it only I know why I have always been under massive attack..." 

My husband: "Oh wow, I think your language is very aggressive, want to tune down a bit?" 

Me: "Is it incorrect, what I'm saying?" 

My husband: "No...but..." 

Me: "Then, no. It's who I am. Coming out from the most extreme form of homogeneism plus authoritarianism, I have completely lost my appetite to take the sugary path. Maybe my ultimate fate is to be hung on the wall in public, then that's the end of a future for the human race too."