For the person I love the most in this world

Kids suddenly started quarreling and crying during breakfast. Shiva came upstairs telling us "Aditi said I'm brown and brown means stupid." I went down to a screaming Aditi. She was sobbing and trying to explain "I only talking about myself. I said I am brown, I didn't say Shiva." "Who told you your skin color is not pretty?" It's not her first time making comments about her skin color. Once she told my sister-in-law that "My grandma told me dark color is not pretty and my and your skin color is not pretty."

 

Yes, I have been aware of this, in fact, I started preparing my parents and warning them before the birth of my children. White supremacy is not only prominent in America, it's horrifyingly prominent in almost all Asian countries. One of my parents' most said phrases is "Put on a long sleeve and hat, apply a lot of sunscreen, don't get blackened in the sun!" 

I was lucky, growing up in such a toxic environment but praised for my fair skin all along. "Momo is so white, her skin so fair, so pretty. Only if she was 3 cm taller, she could be married into any rich and powerful family! But even with just that skin, she could marry well!" My cousin was unlucky, she was somewhat a tiny bit darker than me, she was always put down when they compare the two of us' skin color. So she never really built any self-confidence. She has a good job but she didn't really learn to love herself. So now she is unmarried with a son, not by her choice, she was lied to. 

After all these years of warnings, I don't think my parents could change the habit of telling children "Don't get blackened in the sun!" And children are smart, they get the hidden messages and take them into the heart. So I have been praising my daughter's skin color from the day when she was born. 

Every day I tell her she has the most beautiful skin color in the world. I tell her in 100 years or so, everybody in America will be the same color, your color. I tell her, no matter who, if they make a judgment about your skin color or your appearance, tell them "My vice president is a beautiful mixed-blood woman from a black father and an Indian mother, if you think you are smarter than her, like if you are the president of America, then judge me, please. If not, then please just shut up, bla bla", "And while you say this, point to your brain and look into their eyes as if you have much higher intelligence than them. You surely do, by the way. At the end of the day, only this matters, nothing else".

I have seen enough of self-deprecation and self-defacement among women. I have heard enough vile comments about me "whore, prostitute, nasty, rotten, ugly..." I have borne through enough suffering, the suffering of women because they have butts, breasts, vaginas and wombs. So I have stopped giving a fuck, a long time ago. 

 

If my most precious daughter is gonna grow up to be a confident and headstrong boss, no, leader, whose mind is set to get what she wants, so be it. Mama can't be more proud and Mama thinks all of them should just go fuck themselves.