为了自由 Baraye Liberty برای آزادی

为了在街巷中翩翩起舞

为了能亲吻所爱的人

为了你的妹妹

为了我的妹妹

为了我们的姐姐

为了改变落后腐蚀的思想

为了贫穷带来的耻辱

为了过正常的生活而感到的歉疚

为了垃圾桶边捡食的孩子和他们的希望

为了这个独裁者治下的经济

为了污浊的空气

为了瓦里亚瑟大街和那里凋败的树木

为了猎豹和它的灭种之灾

为了无辜的流浪狗

为了无穷尽的泪水

为了这一幕一次次重演

为了微笑的脸孔

为了学生们和他们的未来

为了这个强加于我们的“天堂”

为了被囚禁的精英们

为了阿富汗族的孩子们

为了所有的“为了”

为了毫无意义的口号

为了虚假的楼宇终将坍塌

为了心中的和平

为了漫漫长夜之后的阳光

为了焦虑和安眠药

为了男人、故土和欣欣向荣

为了那个想成为男孩的女孩

为了女人、生命和自由

为了自由

为了自由

为了自由

How I Live A Free Life

 

Free Yourself

Definitely the best moments in their summer of 2022. 6, 7 children played together in natural water swimming pool for two days, the whole time. Such sweet children with sweet names, Ocean, Sky, Zen, Sequoia... Hippie names no? Yoga-loving white parents attending Sun God's worshipping ceremony, same chanting as Hare Krishna in the streets of Berkeley, London's too. Thanked the generosity and abundance of mother Earth.

Goddesses' statues every corner. 40-degree hot spring room, right outside the window of sauna room, with wind chimes next to cold pool of natural stream. Only Goddesses. Make me miss childhood back in China, temples filled with colorful Goddess statues. Celebrating the birthday of my godmothers - seven sister Goddesses Mama. Kids running around, in the smoke of burning papers and incenses, in the loud noise of firecrackers, drums, suonas and flutes. Gods too, each assigned to different jobs, earth, kitchen, ocean, river, rain, mountain, forest...

Besides white hippies, general norm sets to be super cool to have some connection to India. Young Russian wives to Indian husbands, different kinds of mixed families to Indian men and women. Besides Ocean, Sky, Zen, Sequoia, the coolest hippie names must be Shiva and Aditi. "Aditi, a Goddess right? My husband an Indian too." "Shiva?! Shiva I worship, the yoga God!"

Gentle white man from our city tattooed Durga Maa into his whole back. Durga Maa with 10 hands and 10 weapons. The most powerful, strength beyond all three main male Gods. "Durga Maa our main deity! Our village celebrates Durga Puja as the main festival!" "She is mine too!"

Free men and women walking with pride. Freedom, freedom to choose own way of living and worship. Against establishment and oppression, against inequality and discrimination, against ignorance and chained-up minds. Meditation, yoga, enlightenment, spiritual freedom. A moment with my own world, world of my own deities. 

Control your mind. Rid of fear and doubt. It's all in your mind. It's only in your mind. Broaden your mind. Be brave, embrace, to love, to live. To be free. 

Lift each other up [The Ukraine War - No. 11]

Sometimes the best relief after a period of sadness is talking to someone who really understands you. Somehow for some reason, I have been always lucky to have that. Out of nowhere, boom, dropping from the sky.

When I was persecuted Cultural-Revolution style, a group of girls whose boyfriends/husbands were also Indians were there for me. They were very much shaken and outraged by the incident and stood by my side during the two weeks of torture. Because of them, I made it through. I am still feeling grateful for them.

When the whole world is watching Ukraine, the scope and degree of involvement vary a lot. I believe most people may be puzzled why a bunch of Chinese so crazy about it? 

Freedom is something that most people take for granted in the free world. But freedom for us means everything. And freedom for us has never been free.

Only people like us, whose life had (or has still) been ruined by tyrannies and their totalitarian state apparatus, whose most precious has been taken away by the brute force of evil power fueled by greed, people like us who constantly live in conflict and turmoil because it's impossible to cut all ties to one's roots and blood, understand that - the most important thing for this Earthly life has nothing to do with money or matter, but only freedom and value.

On and off, I have been in contact with my hometown girl. We lived in the same government residential building. We were part of the gang that grew up together in the same court. Two years younger than me, she always called me "older sister" and kept in touch with me. 

When I was roaming around the world, seeing everything with my eyes wide open, transforming, "you told me Europe was really beautiful, people were different outside of China". When I was with Raj and first time understood the meaning of respect, "you told me to hold on to that, respect, you told me to look for nothing else in man. I had no idea what was it then." 

I guess the same things I must have over and over again told each and every person I was talking to. Because these are the foundations of my reconstruction. 

After all that efforts, at least one that I helped. 

"I had been feeling guilty all those years, as a single child, married a foreigner, settled outside, 'abandoned' my parents. But I can feel guilt no more."

"Exactly! They had been emotionally blackmailing us the whole time too. All of the conversations ended up in heartbroken fights. They never tried to understand us, I don't think they are even capable of it."

"Completely same here! Now I realized, for my own sanity and my children's future, the best decision I made was to be with my foreign husband and stay outside of China. In that way, my parents couldn't play a hand in my marriage and were not able to split up me and my husband."

"Can't agree more! For my children all I'm teaching them is respect, respect themselves, respect the people around them, respect all walks of life. The universal values of the civilized world like freedom, liberty, equality, human rights, people here are so used to, but I'm learning like the best student in the first grade. Taking notes, word by word!"

"I'm absolutely the same! Sometimes when I look back, I still feel ashamed of how the evil state machinery made me indifferent and selfish. Meanwhile, I also feel so lucky to eventually be part of the civilized world and regain my empathy, conscience, and dignity."

"Awww, don't feel bad! All of us were the same. Nobody could avoid the fate of being molded to be a petty nail for the evil machinery. We didn't get to choose, it was not our fault. What's important is we were given the chance to escape and rebuild! And now our children are allowed to grow up to be real human beings with kindness and honesty. We did well." 

"Ya, 100% true! And I feel the disconnection with everyone in my Chinese family and almost every one of my old friends. We hold entirely different values on everything. They just wouldn't understand the meaning of liberty, equality and rights. Despite how agonizing it is, I take solace in living in the free world, watching people disagree and debate with manner, watching them peacefully find solutions via civilized means instead of authoritarian style of imposing and forcing upon." 

"Can't believe how similar our experiences are! I also lost connection to all of my Chinese family members and have been trying hard to avoid any conversation with my parents other than food and logistics. We all grew up under constant propaganda and more than 90% of our education equaled brainwashing. How could we build the capacity for independent thinking, and when did we learn to tolerate opinions that were different from the propaganda doctrines? If we didn't marry a foreigner, didn't use English for regular communication, we would be just like them and not knowing what's wrong with that." 

"Yup, can't agree more! We could be corrupted by power and materials, we could be indifferent to social injustice, we could be overrun by fear. What's wrong with the system is that it suppresses people's conscience by terrorizing them with force and luring them with material comfort. People are deliberately kept ignorant, selfish, coldblooded, and shortsighted. They only care about the one or two inches of interest in front of their eyes. The void of such dull life is accustomed to being filled with fired-up nationalism and propaganda. The dominators, on one hand, suck dry the ruled's souls and righteousness, on the other hand, pump in poison and toxic to mass-produce sheep and war soldiers. The reason I am angry with the middle-class Chinese is that a lot of them had seen both sides, but still chose to take the one or two inches of interest in front of them. Not knowing that by condoning corruption and injustice, they can never build a fair system that effectively protects individuals' rights. Today you might be taking that one or two inches of interest, but tomorrow you might as well be the cost of that one or two inches of interest." 

"Totally agree! That's why when Ukraine is under attack, it feels like the most precious longing in the bottom of my heart is set on fire. They had achieved it, a democratic society where each citizen has his/her say by voting. They fought so hard for that. Seeing a centimeter of that hard-fought freedom being snatched away is to cut a centimeter of my heart open."

"Ya, definitely!"

Pray for Ukraine 🙏 😢 #2022 Russian Invasion of Ukraine [The Ukraine War - No. 2]

February 24th 2022

War is the ugliest demonstration of humanity, sadly humanity has never gotten rid of it, and most probably will never. Pray for the people of Ukraine, may peace and light be with them and they have the strength and determination to fight for freedom. 

#war #freedom #Ukraine #2022RussianInvasion

戰爭曝露的是人性和人類社會最醜陋的那一面，可惜人類一直無法擺脫戰爭的陰影，大概率未來也不可能。為被侵略的烏克蘭人祈福，愿和平與光明與烏克蘭同在，愿烏克蘭人有足夠的勇氣和力量，捍衛生命，捍衛自由。

#與烏克蘭人同在 #祈福烏克蘭 #俄國侵略 #烏克蘭 #侵略 #戰爭 #2022俄國侵略烏克蘭 #自由

February 8th 

In any place any time, the road to freedom will most definitely be filled with blood and sacrifices... but if you don't fight, there will always be people whose souls are eaten by darkness and greed, secretly sharpening their claws, ready to take away everything precious from you. 

Random Thoughts September 2021

Sep. 7th

Picking up my children from rock school music class, the coaches walked them out so I went ahead asked one of the coaches some general questions. A green-eyed white guy, children call him "Mr. Ian". 

After the chat, I said "thank you", he replied with a standard namaste hand gesture and said "Thank you!"... for a second there I didn't know how to respond, although feeling a bit awkward, out with respect I also showed him my hands together and said "thank you" again.... 

Usually, I switch to Namaste Gesture Mode altogether when I'm in India, or there are elders in Indian friends' house, you do namaste with hands together to greet them with respect. I mean in California sometimes you really have no idea what kind of mixed family/cultural background people have, and ya, it's super fun. 

Sep. 10th

About the thoughts "there is absolutely no hope for Chinese people to have democracy", "Chinese people are just not suitable for democracy", "Chinese are born slaves and only colonization would save them"... No, I Disagree. 

Taiwan got through it, South Korea got through it, their main drive both came from within, no? Taiwan in the late 80th, South Korea almost the exact same time... Both of them Chinese traditional culture, no? 

The thing is, you give people freedom of the press, freedom of criticism, freedom of information, people's minds will change fast enough. 

I grew up in China but I read and learned about freedom, democracy, and people's rights, and that resonated with my basic human innate nature, so I turned. Am I special? No, any human being could be taught about freedom and basic rights, it's just in our blood, like how animal enjoys freedom. You don't need to rule over them to impose "foreign ideals", but just open some windows for them, let in some fresh air and light, then watch how fast they will turn. 

Afghanistan, should be a counterpoint, no? --> The change has to come from within, if the people there are not ready, no matter how much you force them, they are not gonna change. 

How to ready the people? Free press, free flow of information, free debate, free criticism, investment in the education, not brainwashing type of "education" (this applies to all organizations and groups with different ideologies, races, religions or sexual orientations, people for their own interest and propagation of their own kind that they think it's the best, can't get over their idiot sense of superiority) but Education that Enlightens.

Sep. 12th

Typical Brainwashing Logic, people using this logic to rationalize their brutal and brainless behavior towards me: "she is not grateful for the education she received in China, so we can spit on her, slap her, call her a whore and ya, burn her house and kick her out!" 

I have never replied to such commonly existed evil, that nowadays a majority of Chinese have become (or they always have been under the current regime for 70+ years?). 

So today here are my questions: 

1. If you are Grateful, like Grateful to your Dear Leaders and Dictators, would you be able to get into the same rank of a university as I did? What I achieved in China (getting into a top university), it's because of the existence of the current regime but nothing to do with my own efforts and support from my own family? So all the refugees from evil regimes should feel nothing but grateful to their oppressors? 

2. How do you know I "ENJOYed" the 22 years of education in China? Where all I received was Brainwashing and Brainwashing and Brainwashing, so I had to Waste another 15 years to rebuild myself from ashes. 

22+15, that's basically my whole life till now, I am so Fucked Up, so Fucked Up, my youth so Wasted in mugging up your propaganda and Fabricated Facts about the world. 

Today, I mean today, I still look like an Ignorant Idiot when people are talking about what's happening and happened in the world. Because I have never built up that structure of knowledge, I might be out of the evil claws of propaganda logic, but the construction of knowledge takes decades. Normal people start from 3 years old, I start from 30+ years old...

You call that "ENJOY"? Well, Fuck you! 

Go worship your fucking dictators and let me be pissed with whatever I want to be pissed with, that's my fundamental right and I finally have that rights now. Well, Fuck you!

Sep. 12th

Was telling Raj about my experience in New Oriental (New Oriental Education & Technology Group Inc.). Around 2006, my third year in Xia Men U, I started preparing for application to foreign universities, my family also sent me to Shanghai New Oriental for TOEFL training. 

I am from a small town, before college I never met a foreign English teacher who actually speaks English, but TOEFL has an oral test. Students like me who don't grow up in big cities where they can have summer camps and exchange programs with international schools, or private training sections, rely on facilities like New Oriental. 

Because New Oriental provides 2-week, 1-month, and so on intense English test tutoring sections, with dormitory and food. It's expensive, 2 weeks of training with a dormitory and food cost a few thousand dollars. But the norm was if you ever wanted to have enough scores for TOEFL, you got to have the New Oriental training... 

I ended up going to New Oriental 2 times before taking my TOEFL, one time in summer one time in winter. Made some friends in the dormitory, also got to meet all those "Legendary" star tutors who spoke perfect English, lived abroad, and understood how different systems work. They would give a lot of very useful advice on test-taking, as well as living abroad. Each one of them was like a comedian, a superstar among our youth. 

I think one of the most significant things about them was that they shone a lot of light on how the democratic system work, in terms of the election, voting, independent judiciary, state and federal laws etc. The trainers believed the students got to understand the basics to succeed in the test. 

New Oriental was the hope for normal middle-class Chinese to find the path to the outside world. 

How dramatically, just within a few week's time, they got wiped out, the whole freaking industry got wiped out, millions of teachers lost jobs overnight, which means a death sentence for a better future for the entire family. New Oriental's stock only has some one-digit % left, which also means millions of investors' money evaporated. 

Millions of normal Chinese family's dreams shattered, future altered, yet, you don't hear any complaints or crying, no protests or disagreement. 

Just like in Great Leap Forward, Three-anti/Five-anti Campaigns, 60s Famine, Cultural Revolution, One Child, and uncountable other terrors, you would never know how people suffered in silence and how families quietly got wiped out... 

This is the story of China.

Sep. 13th

People are the same everywhere, but systems are different. The reason a democratic system is, for now, the best for humans is that first of all, it keeps an individual's power under check, and most importantly, it heals itself. 

Democratic societies are always noisy, messy, and seem divided, and always, there are people who feel it's "in the decline", it's "hopeless", it's "the end of the world". Why? Because people are free to speak out their minds. 

When you have all the people speaking up, it will look crazy, messy, and sounds like the end of the world, but that's also the top-secret about self-healing. Only because people are allowed to argue, allowed to have different opinions, a society could correct itself and make better choices. 

I'm definitely not a fan of Trump supporters online, and I realized a lot of communist regime refugees automatically become one. A lot of things I don't agree with them, A Lot, but I do think they should be allowed to speak out and it's their fundamental right. 

The only thing to watch for is the Personality Worship of any leader, in any society.

Between the Evil and Righteousness

The chaos and failure in Afghanistan show: 

1. It's a huge blow to America's image and influence in the world, America has always withdrawn from allies and caused chaos in those countries it intended to help. America could barely finish what it started, the so-called "Beacon of Freedom" has been proven to be dim over and over again. 

2. Civilized societies lack the means to go to war with barbarian regimes, because civil means following rules, however evil expands at all costs. And the civilized world couldn't even understand what evil is, they wouldn't understand to what depth the evils could go just for the thirst of power, no need to mention coming up with practical and effective tactics to outpower them. 

3. When Americans refused to fight the Japanese in Manchuria, the consequence is Pearl Harbor; when Americans refused to fight the communists in Vietnam, the consequence is now aircraft carriers patrolling in the South China sea at all times; back in WWII, when Britains and French hesitated to fight the Nazis, the consequence was the destructive occupation of London and Paris; today when America and the world refuse to defend HK, Taiwan, Kabul, Myanmar... one day America and the world have to defend the democratic world in the soil of Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, London, Paris... 

Because evil has always been lurking in the dark and seizing its chances to attack and expand. You let loose one inch of injustice and brutality, violence and barbarism would surely not let loose of you, they would surely strike back within one breath. Why? Because it's in their DNA. And considering the global village we are living in today, the evil in any corner of the world would eventually find its way back to you within your lifetime.

4. The way of dealing with the world's problems, shows exactly the hypocrisy and shortsightedness, the arrogance and selfishness of the leaders and the people who elected them in democratic societies. Deep down, it's discrimination and ignorance - discrimination against different cultures and different people, ignorance in a way that is unable to obtain foresight over small and petty calculations. This arrogance and hypocrisy go exactly against the so-called Universal Values that the democratic world is propagating. 

In the fight between evil and righteousness, the shortcoming of the democratic world is gonna be the root of a lot of bloodshed and tragedy in the future. Because for the past one hundred years, it has been proven over and over again: when you are allowing one inch of freedom and democracy to be snatched away, no matter where, you would have to pay 100 times the price for it. 

Today we all lose, the way we lost HK, is exactly the way we lost Myanmar and Kabul, and will be exactly the way more places gonna go in the future. 

Today we all lose, as humans, as the free world, as civilized societies.  

近期隨想

 

2021年8月6日

8月7日

ya I never wear bras!!! Too small to needing a bra to hold anything and I can't breathe just because of the thought of something is there to tie my chest. If yours big and heavy, obviously you need support, people like me, why the heck I need to wear bra? And why the heck do I care how "others" feel what I wear and what I don't wear? Did anyone pay for my clothing?? Lol 

8月8日

微博上像我這樣介紹介紹印度文化和生活的，已經算是最後一批被消聲被打壓的了。堅持了這麼久，但誰都是歷史大河裡的一粒灰塵，激不起一絲浪花，也改變不了大河的走向。唯一能做的，就是堅持過好自己的生活，堅持無愧於內心和意識，堅持講真話做真事，堅持去愛而不是恨，堅持去相信，學會去信仰。

8月8日

Congratulations to India for the perfect performances in 2020 Olympics!!!!🥰💕💕❤️ 祝賀印度運動員在2020奧運會上的完美表現！！ 迄今為止獲得獎牌最多的一屆奧運，好棒啊！！！🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳 

印度以一金七獎牌結束了奧運，舉國狂歡啊！！！每個印度人都發自內心地高興。每個獎牌的獲得者都獲得全社會的大力關注，包括第四名的也都接受各種獎勵和表彰。所有人都瞬間暴富，各種贊助和代言。有一個銅牌獲得者，家鄉城市有一條街的名字已經被改成她的名字了！#奧運 #印度

印度人熱烈慶祝2020東京奧運戰果：一金七獎牌，有史以來最好成績。每個獎牌獲得者都成了全社會追捧的英雄，堪稱在最高等級的“第七層天國”裡的七位超級巨星（七在印度非常吉利）。標槍奪金後，各地跳舞唱歌視頻應聲而出。奧運還有幾天結束，印度人已搖著頭表示“印度隊done！ 完美了太完美了太完美了！” #印度 #奧運

8月9日

對阿里強姦案和女權的看法

 #女權 #法制 #印度 #阿里巴巴 #阿里 #阿里巴巴女员工被侵害 #強姦案 #強姦大國 #女性權益 #女權主義

1. Alibaba is not a single case, it's phenomenal, it reflects exactly what Chinese society is. It's called the "Dinner Table Culture" where men telling "yellow jokes"(sex jokes) all the time on the face of everyone, and treating women as sex resources. [I mean I grew up listening to sex jokes on the dinner table when my parents taking me out with their friends, the worst thing was seeing all those old men and women talking about vaginas and prostitutes, I mean you wouldn't hear the words but you knew what they were implying, I always felt like throwing up, but that's the culture. Similar culture can be found in South Korea, and Chinese culture influenced places]. 

2. And what Chinese society really is is not only inequality and exploitation of women as sex resources, it also shows that there is no law and order to protect people's fundamental rights. It's not a modern society built on social contracts and laws, there is no concept of Universal Values which are followed by most modern societies, there is no social structure to restrict individuals' grasp of power. When it is common for high profile CCP officials to have 100, 200, 500 mistresses, it's not about the physical or mental needs of those individuals, but about possession and exploitation of sex resources. And feminism would never go anywhere in the land that is barbarian and lawless. Women would stay as a resource, either is for sexual pleasure or reproduction purposes.

聽到這些網友爆出來的事情覺得好噁心和自己的生活好遠好遠。像我這樣偶爾發點莎麗視頻的，莫名其妙被套上“小三”，“妾”，“情婦”之類的罵名，之前完全摸不著腦袋，和我們的現實生活完全沒有一毛錢關係，現在頓悟，原來那裡就是一個這樣的妓院啊，裡面全是情婦和小三，所以凡是女人就要被罵為小三和妾。

阿里巴巴发生丑闻与中国社会/灭霸响指: 中国医学美容行业风暴再起/Alibaba Sexual Scandal and Chinese Society/王剑每日观察/20210809

Random Thoughts April-June 2021

April 29th

Because it's an Indian variant, you would "Rightfully" start to call it "India Virus" now? When I accidentally mentioned Wuhan (where it originated), it was also "Rightful" for you to Persecute my whole family, Abuse me to death with Violence and Wipe me Out from the internet? 

India doesn't need any of your prayers, get the FUCK out of my face. 

 **

May 5th 

"If you pretend that it is merely an aberration which will presently pass off of its own accord, you are dreaming a dream from which you will awake when somebody coshes you with a rubber truncheon." -Orwell on fascism. 

Well, you know why we all are so obsessed with Orwell from when we were teens and early 20s, first step out from brainwashing. 

 **

May 22nd 

"Why did Orwell criticize communism so much more energetically than fascism? Because he had seen it up close, and because its appeal was more treacherous. Both ideologies reached the same totalitarian destination but communism began with nobler aims and therefore requires more lies to sustain it. It became 'a form of Socialism that makes mental honesty impossible', and its literature 'a mechanism for explaining away mistakes'." 

 **

May 24th

**

May 25th 

I was very disappointed by how the Chinese in America (I think a lot of Florida Cuban people also did) blindly supported Trump during the election in 2020. They sincerely believed "the left in America are socialists/communists"; "China is a communist country"; "therefore the left in America supports Chinese government" (syllogism). All of the two propositions and conclusions are wrong to any degree...

Take a look at what Orwell thought in 1937 --> “The ex-communists had broken out of the syllogism that bound so much of the left to Stalin: I believe in socialism; the USSR is the only socialist state; therefore I believe in the USSR. Orwell's rebuttal was twofold: firstly, no ends, however utopian, can be justified by such grotesque means; secondly, Stalin's Russia was not truly socialist because it denied liberty and justice." 

**

June 4th

**

June 8th 

In East and some Southeast Asian cultures, society is extremely racist toward darker skin. Not only racist toward darker skin people from alien cultures but darker skin people from the same cultural background have always been regarded as from lower social status (in a way similar to India's caste-based discrimination).

And Chinese culture or influenced by Chinese culture has always difficulty tolerating differences because Chinese culture for the past 2000+ years has always been "about homogeneity" and "make it homogeneous". Depending on how much social justice the society has developed throughout history, societies that are able to protect fundamental civil rights are still better off, even if it's not friendly or liberal toward immigrants or non-white foreigners. 

Well, I have always felt an extremely strong sense of discrimination toward my family. And it has gotten much worse in recent years, under the circumstances that China is rapidly closing its door and narrowing its people's mind, as well as the pandemic has put fear and well-justified prejudice back into people's mind, eating off a lot of social progress that achieved in the past decades.

**

June 10th 

My sister-in-law Leena (who now lives in Berkeley) found this book on the roadside while taking a walk, thought about me, so she picked up this book for me to read. 

Something like a roadside-free library that ordinary families set up outside their houses for bypassers to take is very common in Berkeley. 

I really hold to the notion that what you believe precisely reflects what you experienced and the society/environment that helped shape you. 

While the Chinese would brainlessly buy into the systemic defaming act against me, calling me a concubine, it actually accurately uncovered the truth of the society where most of these people come from. A society that having illegal second, third and fourth concubines/mistresses whose rights are largely ignored and abused is an acceptable social norm. 

The dominance of materialism and money worship, no any sort of religious or spiritual faith is allowed, plus the resurgence of patriarchalism and suppression of feminism. What do you expect?

**

June 13th 

Leena watched some movies that have Faye Wong in them and she got so interested in Faye Wong. I was like: dude, Faye Wong is the legendary figure my generation grew up with. She is THE best female singer of our time in Asia, everybody can sing her songs by heart. 

She taught the whole generation to be daring and different, dare to be yourself. She opened up our eyes with her strange and creative makeups and outfits, especially coming out from a China that just opened up a little bit, most people still in the horror of the Cultural Revolution. 

What Leena didn't know and she would have never thought was, years ago when Weibo was still a place that was open, a place gathered thousands of Chinese who dared to talk, express, even criticize; years ago when there was a certain degree of openness in the Chinese society, when there was still hope for political reforms thus a better China. 

Faye Wong was also on Weibo, posting herself wearing sarees, kurta dresses, and Buddhist outfits. Posting her yearly trips in retreat to India, as a hardcore Buddist, in Bodh Gaya and Ladakh. 

Today, dare Faye Wong post anything about India on any social media in China? You can guess the answer.

**

June 19th 

😂😂 看起來 “網上傳的” 大概率都是假的吧 和我老公的大妹妹合影的三人照片 竟最終成為“印度教不是一夫一妻制”的最好證據 好傳神😂😂

**

June 21st 

Funny thing, even for the top journalists in China, most of them don't know much about India, India for Chinese is a blank page or a black hole... 

Can you imagine that now most common Chinese sincerely believe Hinduism is Polygamy because those fake news agencies used my photo with my husband and my sister-in-law as The Best Proof. 

Well, the Chinese have always believed "Indian could marry 4 wives". In 2011 when Raj and I were taking a train in China, people stopped me and asked me on my face: "Is he an Indian, can he have 4 wives?!" Acquaintances who knew about our marriage, even they wouldn't say it on your face, behind your back they must be questioning if I'm one of the 4. 

Chinese naturally discriminate against or disregard Indians, due to the obvious contrast in average and national level wealth in the current age, for most Chinese, money is the ruler to measure everything. 

"The Poor India" has never made itself into China's list of "Respect and Learn" like rich Western countries. Even now the list is shrinking drastically because China accumulated more wealth. 

But for Indian journalists, you absolutely can't say the same because they are well connected with and aligned with western journalism. And if you live in a democratic world with free press and you're fluent English speakers, your worldview won't be so twisted for sure… 

** 

June 22nd 

My dad was like: "If searching your name (郑墨沫) in Tiktok Chinese version, there are at least a few dozens of videos that have views more than half a million or millions, these people made so much money on defaming you and defaming India...." 

How strange that defamation and slander based on completely false and fabricated information are allowed to be out there and be promoted, while the victim and family have absolutely no means to protect any of our rights and privacy... 

On top of that, all of my Chinese accounts are forcefully deleted and I literally have no place to say a word even if I want to... 

You don't call this Cultural Revolution and Persecution, I don't know how else to describe it... 

**

June 23rd 

If we don't keep fighting for freedom and rights, freedom will be snatched away before we realize it. 

Life without freedom is not worthy in any way. 

My heart has been heavy, I'm saddened and worn, but I try to be strong, I try to be happy and I try to move on, because my faith is strong. 

Whoever is struggling out there, please be strong and have faith. Someday, we will get through the darkness and see light, someday! 

- for Apple Daily, for HK

The vulnerability of the human race

It is utterly strange that human beings could be so easily deceived and manipulated. 

Once you take away independent thinking and free press, the mass could buy into whatever shit you feed them. 

Actually, the vulnerability of humans has been proved disheartening over and over again. 

Just that when it's in front of your eyes, every time I still need time to tell myself: it is real, it's really happening in the 21st century.

[ I'm literally amazed by the amount of Chinese (every day hundreds) who are sincerely inquiring (besides their extremely vulgar and violent languages): "Are you really the mistress of this Indian man? Where is his real wife?" ]

--Related Blogs: 

*Why nailed me as a piece of countering-free-world propaganda and brainwashing material? https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2021/09/twitter-june-sep-internet-violence.html 

*The Ridiculousness https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2021/02/the-ridiculousness.html 

*Cultural Revolution 2.0 https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2021/03/cultural-revolution-20.html

*The Incident. A Novel? https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2021/02/the-incident-novel.html 

*[Twitter May-June] Internet Violence - Making a Record as How it is Unfolding https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2021/06/twitter-may-june-internet-violence.html 

*The real violence usually are sent via DM https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2020/06/dm.html 

*Is Internet Violence Truly Scary? https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2020/05/is-internet-violence-truly-scary.html 

*Why I regularly post the violent comments I receive? https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2020/06/why-i-regularly-post-violent-comments-i.html 

*A Poem - If I Could Stay, Why I Ever Leave? https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2020/10/a-poem.html 

*With You By My Side, My World Lit Up Like A Northern Sky https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2021/03/with-you-by-my-side-my-world-lit-up.html 

*The vulnerability of the human race https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2021/05/the-vulnerability-of-human-race.html 

*The real strength https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2021/05/the-real-strength.html 

*Internet Violence in China #Brainwash #Propaganda #ExtremNationalism #Discrimination #Defamation #Persecution #FalseAccusation #PromoteHatred #MinistryofTruth #ThoughtPolice https://feimoyu21.blogspot.com/2021/05/internet-violence-chinese.html

-- Related Youtube Videos: 

*The Incident in February 2021  https://youtu.be/ddrSYPc5A98 

*When They Make Hit Videos About U, U Know U'r Famous!..Hilarious..  https://youtu.be/crfz0CNMJRk 

*😂😂 How Famous am I in China? Some Video Platform Search Results #郑墨沫 #中印恋人 #嫁给印度人 #网络暴力 #抹黑污蔑 https://youtu.be/xTxqcTyb12I

*21世紀中國式的黑白顛倒 指鹿為馬 閉塞無知 公開羞辱 侵犯私權 文革批鬥 My Story in Parallel Universe: Public Shaming and Persecution https://youtu.be/6X-YiGiGaHY

*The Most Violent Languages Usually Sent Via DM（2）https://youtu.be/YrdHZJem6WI

*The Most Violent Languages Usually Sent Via DM（1） https://youtu.be/tf4nJlgt1cI 

*China-India Border Tensions Bring Internet Violence To Chindian Family https://youtu.be/rlng22KPGEs 

*China's Internet Censorship and Violence 【21世紀文字獄】https://youtu.be/EoWGwqscwNo 

*Internet Violence - Glimpse of 12 Years of Violence Against Me in Chinese Internet https://youtu.be/tXRBaqQBux0 

*[Twitter May-June] Internet Violence - Making a Record as How it is Unfolding #辛格莫默 #嫁給印度人 #網絡暴力 https://youtu.be/JF2pxR5c9Xo

*[Twitter June-July] Internet Violence - War is Peace Freedom is Slavery Ignorance is Strength #網絡暴力 https://youtu.be/zD25PJVnacQ

*[Twitter Aug-Sep] Internet Violence #ExtremeNationalism #Propaganda #HateEducation #Brainwash #網絡暴力 https://youtu.be/QHjETyk2PXI

Random Thoughts March-April 2021

March 4th, 2021

Pray for Myanmar... 

In this Loka that we humans living in, there is a constant struggle between Good and Evil. 

Good could appear in all different forms, but Evil always has the same face: Selfish, Egoistic, corrupted by Greed and Fear. 

In the era that materialistic advancement has jumped to the top list of human achievements, don't forget that if the Good allows Evil to take over, there will only be darkness and destruction left in this world. 

In the darkness, there will be no life worth living, if you had seen the light... 

**

March 16th, 2021

Fate takes us wherever we belong to, most of the times we have no control over what's gonna come. 

I'm grateful that I am at where I'm right now where all of us could respect and embrace our differences and enjoy the freedom that's carved into the foundation stones. 

And I am forever grateful for having such a supportive and amazing family, each one of them is my rock, who holds me tight, gives me protection. 

As a person who values freedom more than anything in the world, I don't see myself having a different life other than this one. 

If this is the only path to take, then have no fear, I'm gonna lift up my head and walk on. 

Years later when I look back, I will always remember myself as the woman, who every day woke up to the determination that she was going to be strong and not allowing fear to rule over her.

**

March 22nd, 2021

With my mother and father-in-law back in India, life suddenly got back to endless house chores. Hardly any time to take a breath, to focus on a thought. Feels like mothers are always segmented into small pieces, everyone takes the ones they need. Even her memories too, hardly anything unbroken and to herself. 

Wait. Then how did I manage the days before my in-laws were here? How did I keep the family going while kept exploring different ways of content making, never failed to come up with something new? And how did I get through the years when my kids were merely screaming babies and my husband was on business trips 300 days a year? I was on Chinese social media too right? With all that work on my shoulder, how did I manage to follow through with different issues and kept expressing my opinions to try to make a difference? [well, that ended up badly...] 

I guess the prowess in one, one should never underestimate. 

Maybe this is the reason I can't give up this space. A space in which I feel free and focused, a space I feel whole and unbroken. You might say "Mothers, your work is with your children. They are your glories." 

But when they spread their wings and go their own ways, who is there to guarantee your heart is not going to be left empty? 

That's why I can't give up this space, even though I was showered in bullets and knives, in spits and curses. 

Because in this space, I am always busy building up something, a bridge to understanding the world, a passage to seeking the light and myself.

**

March 30th, 2021

These are real heroes, from Chloe Zhao, Vicky Xu to all of those who perfect in their professions and never stop fighting. Personal defamation and attacks are still bearable, but the alienated relationship with the entire family and losing the chance to ever go back and meet anyone again? The hopelessness when your mother and father threatened and frightened over and over again because of what you say and do? That depth of agony and darkness, it's something most people in this world could never ever imagine. 

But for truth and freedom, so many people have taken that road of thorns and flames, so many of them have chosen to sacrifice themselves.

It's because of them, the sparks of hope will continue on. Because of them, the world is getting one inch better at one time.

https://amp.abc.net.au/article/11954794#aoh=16170891157798&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s

**

March 31st, 2021

Today morning before I headed out to school, I got out to chat with my two older women neighbors with who I speak Chinese (I actually don't know if they were originally from China or Taiwan or other countries). Suddenly one of them told me: "Please don't mind me saying this, now the Chinese new year is done, could you please take down the red 對聯 from your door?" The other one added: "Because recently there's so much China/Asian hostility, the blacks or whites or other community like Indians, they might barge into your house because they see your door. Did you see the (Chinese languages) news? There are so many cases like this..." 

I was left speechless for 10 seconds there. Then I thanked them for the kind reminder, for worrying about my safety, and agreed to take down my Chinese 對聯 on the door tomorrow. 

Then it got me thinking, I might never understand the full set of logic behind this, but there might be some explanations for what just happened. 

But first of all, I have to clarify, as how party-frequent and multi-national as our household could get, I have never seen any of my guests showed any concern or even interest in the 對聯 on my door. Also about the Asian hate, sadly it's real for a lot of people and a lot of places, people have to keep fighting for it. But in my day-to-day life, I always have the most fun talking with random black dudes in the supermarket, chatting with random black women while waiting for something together. Even while driving, we always wave and smile at each other when showing courtesy and patience. Nobody cared if I look like Asian or what, and vice versa. As for worrying about people barging into my door because of the sign on my door? It's NOT a nazi or a particular party sign alright? Culture should always be respected if it's not harming anyone. 

So why my Chinese neighbors urged me to take down the red 對聯？This is the possible reasons I can think of: 

a. The only news they consume is the Chinese language, and the Asian Hate wave is magnified and exaggerated to an extent that people turn to apply the logic of sensational news to real life. As to how much the overseas Chinese news channels are infiltrated by China nowadays, you can't say for sure there is no play of the Chinese side behind. Fanning the fear, so to divide, so to rule, simple logic. 

b. But I can't say for sure that they are groomed, or they are aligned with propaganda in China right? They could be completely opposite as well. That's why any sign on my door that reminds them China/Chinese is not candy in the eye? 

c. Either a or b, collective thinking is definitely playing in the background, even you live in the individualist environment for all your life, what's been taught when you were young, sometimes it's difficult to change at all. 

So should I take down my 對聯 on the door? Just to make my Chinese neighbors happy? 

Why did I put up these 對聯 in the first place? To celebrate my culture obviously. A culture I wish was not washed away, a culture I wish was still authentic and rich in the soil where it originated. As a rootless drifter, all I can do is to mourn this culture in my own way. 

Do I need you to understand my logic? No. Do I need to acquire your consent? No. 

So, as I was writing these lines, I decided to not take down my 對聯 and just let it be there, to be the candy of eye. 

And oh, Americans, you all should be so much better than putting everyone and everything in boxes, like what the Chinese news is propagating to whoever is listening. Just show more respect, show more love, show that you are determined to be color blind. With a smile and helping hand, you will always get a smile and helping hand back.

**

April 2nd, 2021

In this small group of children, you can find every race and color, a lot of them have two or more colors in them already. 

They all blend in perfectly fine with each other, it's so natural that nobody ever has questions about their skin color. 

This is what real rainbow looks like, this is what real America should be.

**

April 4th, 2021

Every being that came to exist, either a civilization, a culture, a religion, an era, or an individual, the core drive for it to bloom and grow, is Freedom. Freedom, what we human beings have been fighting for from the very beginning; the one word that could define who we are and pretty much summarize whatever values we hold for our existence. 

Don't tell me there are 2000+ years already. 2000 years, merely just a blink in the universe. Without giving it the freedom to breathe, in another blink, everything will vanish without a struggle, without a lament.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/29/opinion/biden-china.html