Here comes the new year 2011

Sorry that it's been a very long time since I wrote blogs here, in English.

My personal blogs, I was busy with the Chinese one, where I share my feelings of being a girlfriend of an Indian boy to get more respect from Chinese people and discovered the awesome groups and individuals such as "marry-to-Indians-Chinese-girls", "Chindian-mixed-blood-babies" or "we-are-Chinese-who-love-India" etc. I made a lots of friends and had lots of fun.

From the time that my Chinese blog attracted thousands of clicks everyday due to CommonWealthGames pictures posting, to the time that I had to deny the allowance of comments for almost 3 weeks due to unbearable nasty comments, to the time that more and more and only the people who are looking for and sharing supports are visiting my blog and leaving warm-hearted comments, not a bad job indeed :)

Checked H's blog this morning, suddenly remembered the hard time I've been through while I was also a very sensitive and easily heart broken little girl who was stubbornly looking for something, something almost unreal, in this realistic world. Now that at last I am in some safe hands, which hands are holding me, protecting me like what I wished for :P

But being a girl like me, I have to be out of my mind occasionally.

Incidents like the "Midnight Cat Incident" happen to me all the time. By the way, I saw the cat again in day time, his name is "Mookies", I will name whatever petted animals I will have Mookies: Mookies the junior piggy, Mookies the crazy cow, etc, someday.

OK, there was something like this happened at new year's eve. Since I was in THE period that any normal guy who has a girlfriend fears, my "outraged" behavior was actually not so unreasonable.

We were partying at SF a friend's place, almost like a night club without checking your ID, high. Raj the poor guy got allergic out of nowhere and I was sitting with him outside the cluby apartment, high. Suddenly I got mad for no reason and directly moved out into the dark street by myself. Raj didn't follow up immediately. So I kept on walking, in my trembling steps, in the shady street at 2 or 3 am. Those frequently happened incidents such as people being robbed and shot to death after coming back from a night out never got into my mind, I felt my bravery, backed by some anger, some sadness, some bitterness, some desperation.

The next thing I remembered was sitting on the stairs in front of a dark building, I had no idea how far I had walked, the whole street was dark and soundless, I didn't know where were I, I left my head buried into my laps, I think I started to feel the fear. Then they came, 4 girls, stopped and asked me if I was ok. That was all I could remember, they were 4 girls, I couldn't remember if they spoke English or Spanish or French or Chinese, I couldn't remember if they were white or black or brown or yellow, I couldn't remember if they were fat or thin, dressed up or not, drunk or sober, the only thing I remember was that they were 4 girls, asked me what happened, invited me to walk with them to eat some tacos, hugged me while I stood up. I remember hugging all of them, the closed up image of one of the girl's face is still there, a pair of caring and watery eyes, a handsome nose, in the darkness. That's all I could remember.

So I followed them, in my still trembling steps, I couldn't remember what did they talk about while walking the long street, but they were talking about something. After walking for a while, at a street cross, something suddenly got into my mind and blinked, I recognized the street I came from and told them that I had to turn right to this street, they all stopped, asked me if I was sure, and wished me: ok, girl, good luck, and be safe. They hugged me again, all 4 of them, the only thing still in my mind is the closed up image of one of the girl's face, the same girl, it was really beautiful, a pair of caring and watery eyes, a handsome nose, under the orange street light, brightly.

After some more trembling steps, it came the running Raj, almost slapped me, said he went back to get my coat and got scared that I disappeared...

I started crying, crying out loud as if it was from deep of my heart, as if without alcohol this part of bitterness would always be hidden but never be unveiled. I told Raj that I missed my mom, my family and my friends, I missed the life in China, I was feeling lonely here in the US, I told Raj about the 4 girls and started to cry even more since they saved my life.

After I got a little bit more sober, I told myself, no matter when and where, if anybody needed help, I would give my hands without hesitation. I know most of the time, it's just a kind smile or a nice "hello", that could change some other people's life.

Yes, it's amazing that a new year again comes, while writing dates, we have to get used to 2011 instead of 2010, earlier it was 2007, 2008, 2009... Time flies fast while life goes on, sometimes I want to hold on to the past memories, sometimes I get confused with where to go in my life, but most of the time, I wish I am just this kind of a silly girl, who could give a kind smile and a nice "hello" to anybody who needs it.

Happy new year my friends, enjoy the life :)

Birthday Gift

Haven't got time to put up the words together for the poem, a poem that I have promised Raj as a birthday gift.

But somehow I made this video, looks even fancier than a poem :P

Wish my baby Happy 25th Birthday !!!

Love ya :)

10/16/2010

Raj's first trip to China !!! :)

Finally back to Berkeley. Sigh... how cool the weather here, around 20 degrees, always sunny, blue sky, big trees, squirrels and deers are alive, jumping here and there carrying no fear of being eaten or made to Chinese traditional medecine and hand bags...

After almost a month's adventure in China, riding bike again in the streets of Berkeley seems so cherishing, at least, we are back in two whole pieces.

Called Amanda's home since her cell already being switched off for the trip to Canada, Mrs. Bradshaw picked up, she literally laughed to the ground while listening to my description of our summer trip.

"Ya, we lost our passports on the first day first hour after arriving in China. Raj gave me his passport, so both of our passports were in my small handbag, I left the handbag on the back seat of the taxi, we didn't remember the name of the taxi driver, didn't even get a receipt. You know, I was too exhausted and too nervous about everything in my own country, and of course, carrying too many luggages."

"bhahahhaha, you guys are crazy."

"Ya, we were stuck there in China and it was so hot, around 100 degrees. We stayed in Guangzhou for getting a new passport and exit visa to Raj, I showed Raj some cities while waiting for Raj's new visa, it was so tiring all the time, we keep sweating the whole trip, now we are both very black and thin."

"bhahahahha, you guys are miserable !!"

"Oh, I also brought Raj to my hometown to show to my parents... my dad said, Raj is indeed a well educated, good mannered, promising young guy, the only thing is, his skin color is a bit too dark..."

"bhahahahah, Mo, this is a good one !!"

"Ohya, since we were not able to take flight (no identities) , I took Raj into some Chinese crowded trains, they were soo crowded, the government sold us this type of tickets (called standing tickets) with no seat, so we had no seat !! We spent 15, 16 hours each journey standing or sitting on the ground with other Chinese sitting, eating, sleeping, spitting and throwing garbage on the ground..."

"bhahahahha, Mo, you guys were really miserable !!"

......

We also met Debu Da, from Raj, the China trip looks like this:

"China looks so so so rich, much richer than India. All western brand good/ luxury cars in the street, each every city has huge buildings, everywhere is under construction, a lot of cities have very advanced metro or BRT system, the public transportation is awesome.

Although it's weird that the government is so powerful to get rid of all the motor cycles in Guangzhou, the streets look exactly like US which filled with expensive cars.

I have been to a lot of places this time in China, even villages, the roads are really wide and have good quality. The highways are also new and in good shape, but I heard it's quite expensive and there are not so many cars in some of the routes.

There is no train in China has no AC, but they sell tickets with no seats (with the same price as tickets with seats), for long distance, they also sell tickets for seats (besides sleepers) which you can't lie down and sleep. Since we only bought the tickets two or three days ago, tickets with seats (and above) already sold out, for 15, 16 hours' night journey, we had to stand or sit on the ground, the best scenarios was that we were capable to sit and sleep for the whole night, obviously there were many more miserable people compared to us.

All the things government made or sponsored, are grand, golden, shiny and awesome, you don't see slums no where, very clean streets, no poor people are capable to be seen. Feels like China is not a place for poor people anymore, which confuses me because according to the statistics, China is still a developing country with huge poverty.

In China indeed women work everywhere, means, in all kinds of professions and positions. In public, almost everywhere from cities to villages, you can see half women half men working or traveling. Although it's always crowded, people won't take your advantages and keep well manners, normal people are generally quite helpful and humble, sometimes more helpful and nice than some officiers.

Indeed, it could be because that there are police forces, cameras everywhere in public places. Police cars are at least Honda accord !

There is no small bribe in need for the lowest level of execution, official works were easily and efficiently done for us. The police arrived in 3, 4 minutes, let us get into their car and drove us around searching for hotel or street cameras to identify the taxi we took that day while we lost our passports; after whole afternoon's search we still couldn't find anything, the police also gave us a police report without asking us for any bribe. Momo got her new passport within 3 days, then her dad delivered the new passport which would be expired in 2020 to Guangzhou within 1 day so that she can apply for her US visa together with me in Guangzhou while I was waiting for my exit visa.

I have lived in Singapore for two months, I thought the girls there wear the shortest, after seeing China, I think Chinese women are the ones who wear the shortest compare to the other parts of the world... Of course you would see young girls wear short skirts or pants in the west, but you could only see women at the age of 30 to 50 who have kids with them, wearing very very short dresses while shopping or walking in the street. This is weird and made me uncomfortable.

Chinese society is insensitive to women, most of women are not treated as what they deserve, according to me, women's social role is really special since each woman is a potential mother who would give birth to babies and raise them up with her own blood and sweat, the whole society should respect each every woman just because of this. However in China, I didn't see this point, for example, they played dirty joke videos in public while no passengers complained, they shouted at anybody who looks poor, no matter man or woman, some of them shouted at Momo and insulted her with weird questions which made me very uncomfortable even I didn't understand fully, as for me, I would say this shows non respect towards women.

Definitely, China is not a place for poor, although I am from India where Chinese people generally know nothing about it except the poverty, people dare not to treat me bad since I study in the US. I saw officiers shouted at poor looking elders like shouting at dogs.

......"

Ok, got to go now, actually I opened this Chinese Sina blog (http://blog.sina.com.cn/feimoyu21) to write about all that happened, this afternoon I was trying to transfer all the articles into this blog since Sina has the power to delete any of my article or my whole account for no reason.

Sorry that not all the content I wrote and am going to write is in English (since I realized that Chinese written articles were more urgently needed to change some people's mind)...

Cheers

:)

arrr... at last

There are so many "draft" articles in my dashboard, both Chinese and English, all half written or with a start.

Was trying to write all the time, however once it stopped somewhere, I couldn't find it back anymore.

Same to the flow of thoughts: always having loads of thoughts and always reminding myself to write them down while still in my mind; cause once the time passes, they would just all slip away.

So maybe I should get over writing long articles... now I see why Twitter becomes so popular.

No matter what will come and stop me today, I will definitely publish this article, even without anything special.

I think I just have too much to say (write) most of the time. I am flowing with the time, my mind is changing each second by knowing more facts, reading more articles, talking to more people and leading my own way of life (unpredictable).

Just like a baby exploring the surroundings by smelling and tasting every item, I wish I also grow like a baby, an old baby :)

Ok, publish now, click !!

理想与现实

有的时候，理想与现实的区别远不止流离在骨感与丰满之间，在满目沧痍的现实世界里，理想和现实往往漂移在流亡与苟活、铁窗内与外甚至是生与死之间。

之前走过的二十多年梦幻般的日子，从不知晓有着这样一个特别的日子，当然更不可能看见自己世界的真实面目。在那些日子里纵然有过各种挣扎与痛苦，但与被梦幻掩盖的冷酷丑恶的真实相比，竟如此微不足道。

那么纪念，就打今年开始吧。

红色与蓝色的药片，你会选择哪个？

Do you have a flag?

Ya we built up empires, we stole countries... that is how you build empire... we stole countries with the cunning use of flags.

Just sail around the world and stick a flag in:

- I claim India for Britain.

- You can't claim us, we live here, 500 million of us !

- Do you have a flag?

- We don't need a bloody flag, we.. it's our country you bustard !

- No flag no country, you can't have one. That's the rules that I have just made up ! And I am backing it up with this gun that was lent from the National Rifle Association.



* Eddie Izzard *

He is my No.1 brilliant artist !! :)

Amazing Indian choreography from UC Berkeley

UC Berkeley 2010 dance competition, the Indian choreography won the first prize.

The Indian dances are amazingly awesome... I ♥ crazy Indian people....

Now that I know how to "embed" videos, here post some more Indian dancing vidoes of us... :D

This is Raj, Moritz and me in Paris, had some fun in our room :)




This is Berkeley students dancing at Holi celebration :)




And this is my favorite...A tribute to M.J. while we were in Paris with Moritz :P